It won't be like this next time
by Enosimania
Summary: Taking place both before and during the events of the movie, this fic is going to turn slightly AU half-way through, in that Thor et al will be stuck on Midgard while Loki remains king. And as king, he takes his frustrations out on the the most vulnerable and ignored member of the royal family. Cue smut aplenty (con, dub and non-con). Loki/OFC.
1. Coming up in the dark

**I'll just get this out of the way: wincest is awesome when it comes to fic writing. It's even better when it isn't _really_ incest because of Loki's adoptive awesomeness, so you get all the steamy conflict (both internal and external) without the creepy. Though still a _little_ creepy. Needless to say if this stuff bothers you, turn away. The smut won't come for a good few chapters though - I've only written the first two so far, but I suspect the first glimpse of improper will come at around chapter 4. Until then it's all quite safe and innocent.  
There's already plenty of fics like this via the Thorki shippers, but slash isn't really my cuppa, so I had this idea a few weeks ago. In the meanwhile I've noticed at least one other het wincest fic around here, written by shadowgirl191, which is awesome so definitely have a look. But from what I can tell of her story so far, our plots will be going in different directions, and the only point at which they'll meet is below the waist.**

**Having said all that: I don't own Thor nor Loki nor any of the characters you recognise here. They all belong to the fantastic Nordic culture. Screw you, Marvel, you thief.**

**Enjoy, and feel free to throw comments and/or tomatoes. Criticism is good for the soul.**

* * *

Loki was fighting. That was happening a lot lately. He usually managed to get himself out of trouble either through his princely status or Thor's _more important_ princely status. He got in trouble because he liked to play pranks on others, but hadn't quite figured out how to not get caught yet. He just did, without thinking ahead. It was arguably because impulsiveness was considered a normal Asgardian trait and Loki, in his own way, was just trying to fit in. He was still young then.  
This time he wasn't fighting over a prank, though that's what started it. Loki had the uninspired idea to turn Sigurd's restrained armour and cape into a flamboyant dress - at the back, which meant it took a while for him to realise it. The young noble, son of a war hero and joyless warrior dime-a-dozen, responded to the princeling's prank with self-righteous vitriol.  
"I am not a nobody that you can make fun of, my lord!" bellowed he. "You ought to save your jests for servants and cowards, for if you do not change my attire back, I... I..."  
"You'll what?" purred Loki, his brows raised and eyes half-lidded, trying very hard not to laugh in the brute's face. Their audience, a small array of courtiers, looked from the one to the other as they sparred with words. "You will fight me?"  
"I will!"  
"In that?"  
The tension was too thick for anyone to laugh, though some maybe wanted to.

Sigurd was still struggling for a reply when help came from the crowd: "Lord Sigurd does not need armour to be a champion of the realm!" someone cheered to sporadic applause. Sigurd grinned gratefully at the support. Although it was plain to everyone that he was the favourite, not many had the courage to express it in front of Loki, with him icily staring them down.  
"I think we should put that to the test." said Loki, his back stiff and his posture proud as he extracted his daggers and got ready for the now inevitable battle.

"Come my lord," hissed Sigurd, balancing his axe in his broad hands as they circled around the small garden, "do you feel on fair footing only if your opponent looks like a woman?" Loki smirked as he chewed on a mocking reply. "Like you?" Sigurd added quickly, and Loki's smirk fell to a seething frown. The audience couldn't resist a few chuckles, hidden albeit behind coughs. It was a thing of awkward chagrin for Loki that as he stepped into maturity he still looked considerably young and his face had a smoothness that the Asgardian warrior society didn't know what to make of. For a youth of Loki's age to be beardless was only seen in women (and servants). Although frightfully tall and talented in fighting in spite of what everyone else thought of him, the ability to boast any overt mark of virility was denied him. He fought more often in the defense of his good name and honour than he did for practice, and still won every time. The fact that after years of this there were still jokes made at his expense over his dubious handicap must have been frustrating. He tried never to show it.

They charged at one another, their weapons clinked together, they struggled, they distanced, they paced some more, they charged again.  
"If that was meant to make me turn your 'gown' back, your breath was wasted." retorted Loki with a thin smile. "But don't worry. You have my word of honour I won't lift your skirts." Sigurd tightened his hold on his heavy axe. "I wouldn't want to embarrass you after all."  
Then they charged again at one another, and again, and again, until they were both quite exhausted. Loki was clearly getting tired of the fight, and Sigurd seemed to have unending stamina though he huffed like a boar. The young prince had never had such a long fight before, and the crowd was beginning to lose its patience, and the few cheers for Sigurd were chipping away at Loki's confidence.

The two were circling one another again and Loki was mulling an alternative to their grinding back and forth. He set his determined eyes into Sigurd's angry ones, and took a breath as they charged towards one another again, getting ready to deflect his axe on his crossed blades again. But instead he side-stepped the warrior who heavily stumbled forward, and Loki took this chance to silently release his breath which called a small chill wind that made Sigurd's skirts lift. He yelped, to the awkward laughter of the crowd, and using his arms to cover his exposed behind he instead left himself exposed to Loki's attack. His right arm half-slashed and bleeding, Sigurd had lost the fight. The crowd was no longer laughing, though someone let slip a clipped laugh of joy, and the young girl bounced as her palms went to cover her mouth.  
"You cheated!" Sigurd shouted.  
"You should take care to not pass wind during battle." joked Loki.  
"You have no honour, my lord!" and to that, Loki for a second mock-charged at the startled warrior.  
"I have enough honour to not fight a wounded man." the prince pointed out as he straightened himself.

The crowd wasn't sure how to react. They all knew the prince had used tricks again, and he knew they knew it. There was only one spectator who was truly happy for him, but it didn't sooth him at all and she wasn't even sure he knew she was there.  
"You should get yourself to a healer." continued Loki while, with a snap of his fingers, he turned Sigurd's armour back and made to leave. "And be happy that this wasn't a fight to the death." The threat in Loki's last words didn't escape his opponent, who knew of some of the prince's casualties. He also knew that, Loki being who he was, his death wouldn't necessarily come from a battle, which in Asgard was worse than dying itself.

Loki left the small garden and made his way back to the stone corridors of the palace while the crowd dispersed itself, some shaking their heads others not knowing how to react. Nobody and nothing dared follow after Loki except for the light billowing of his cape and a pale echo of tiny feet.  
There was a small, curious figure that inched its way to the stone balcony which overlooked the enclosed court, where the spectators had gathered. A head shorter than everyone else, in an elegant gown carried with a gauche gait, and a soft, dark head of brown hair, the girl was obviously of somewhat nobility but little importance - which she recognised in herself and therefore didn't care to adopt the proud way of carrying oneself that was normal in Asgard. A few of the courtiers had recognised her as Avildis and inclined their heads with small, unsure smiles: she was the youngest daughter of the royal couple, which also made her their youngest child (there were only two princes, and four princesses younger than they).  
She was the only one who supported Loki that day, mostly because she still missed his younger self who used to play with her so cheerfully, but also because he was her brother and she loved him. Fighting, she didn't care about - though she was happy when he won. She had followed the pair of warriors with worried eyes when they started circling each other, completely ignored the banter before the battle, and gasped as they charged at one another - Sigurd with his axe and Loki with a pair of curved daggers. Her fists were pressed into the stone and she almost leaned over in her focus, as if she could help Loki win by sheer willpower. Her pale grey eyes never left him, and she cheered for him when he won.

Half-running to reach him, the girl lightly lifted her skirts in her excited fists as she called after the looming figure "Congratulations!" Loki half-turned and grumbled something unintelligible, but kept trotting as if he were late somewhere. Avildis could tell his thoughts were pacing as quickly and roughly as he was. "Why aren't you happy? You won." she pouted, hoping against hope that he could maybe be as happy as she was for him.  
"Tell _them_ that." he mumbled with a toss of his head.  
"Well what was wrong?" Avildis asked as she finally fell into step beside her brother.  
"Are you as short sighted as you are short?" he sneered.  
"Well... _that_ wasn't you, was it?" the hurt little girl asked, referring to the decisive wind. Loki's only response was a chuckle and a shake of his head. "Well, so what if it was?" Avildis went on. "In any battle, you'd still win and it counts. Winning is what counts."  
"You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" She wasn't sure how to answer, so he went on. "When's the last time you won anything?"  
"When's the last time _you_ did?!" she cried out, incensed with hurt. "You're such a heartless monster, I swear, Loki." and she immediately broke from his side and started charging, with all the force of young rage, down a side corridor that would eventually take her to her room. Avildis grasped her gown even harder as she ran with the hope that she could reach it before she started crying.

Loki's steps carried him on and eventually faltered and stopped, and with a sigh he turned around and almost reluctantly, but certainly regretfully, went after his sister. His long paces made him reach her door not long after she barricaded herself behind it, and although he could've gone in he decided not to. All was quiet inside, but he knew what that said about her.

"Come on, sis, I didn't mean it." More silence. She was lying with her head pressed into the bed, crying as quietly as she could manage.

Somewhere along the way, Loki's friendship with the youngest and most unimportant Odinspawn withered to something unspectacular. When she was still walking rather precariously Loki was already learning how to fight and spent most of his time with Thor, but he still enjoyed the attention and affection the family shared. Avildis was an ever-laughing ray of morning light, and her hair was as light as Thor's,before it got darker as she grew up; she ended up resembling her mother more than her father.  
Her hair colour was actually one of the first things Loki had tried his magic on, years before he changed Sif's hair from blonde to black. Avildis trusted him implicitly however, and anyway as far as they could tell Loki's magic had had no lasting effect on her.  
In-between sparring with Thor and learning all the things Thor _should_ have, he had time for his youngest sister. The older ones somehow intimidated him, or kept their distance from the boys. In a few years they were already too concerned with feminine frivolities to bother with the brothers. Avildis was safe from this though. Aside from being the youngest, she was also the most uncouth of the sisters, and thoughts about her being paired with a young lord when she came of age were scarce, and soon forgotten. She was charming, as Loki well knew, but her charm didn't outweigh her insignificance.

"If you'll let me in, I could explain myself to you. Please?" he bargained with the door. "I forgive you, you know." At this, the girl was almost ready to throw a pillow at the offending sound, and her brother grinned because he knew it. 'Forgive her', as if she had done something wrong - she knew she hadn't, and Loki tried very hard to suppress the thought that he knew she hadn't too.

The young prince wasn't sure when he stopped spending time with her, but in her doe eyes he could tell she knew exactly when but never said. It probably happened when he grew up and she was still so little, and he had other things to worry about. The whole family had drifted apart as they grew older, slowly, like stars in a black universe. Their mother was the only connecting thread, so lone and vital that without her they probably would gone years without so much as seeing each other in the Asgardian city-palace. Loki stayed by Thor's side, and Thor stayed by Odin's, and the three older sisters stuck together like a trio of graces, and Avildis did who knows what. Loki maybe thought, underneath his surface thoughts, that staying so close to Thor might make Odin notice him again and say again how he, too, deserved to be a king. But as the brothers reached maturity there was far less of that, and Loki was left with defending his place in Thor's proud company of warriors, and fighting whoever teased him for his light figure, his use of magic, or his other un-manly characteristics. His first years of maturity were all a struggle in both the royal court and its satellites of warriors and nobles. In the end he would win the respect of his peers, and if not that then at least their fear (he wasn't yet sure what the difference was), and he was close to achieving that now. Loki also knew that this made him feel older and more thick-skinned than Thor by a large distance, as the favourite had never had to struggle for anything, but it was a bitter comfort.

In this way, he felt the aching pull of sympathy for his young sister. She too had to struggle at court, because she too was nobody's favourite; she had, maybe, at one time been _his_, but now she no longer even had that. And maybe she resented him for it, but if she did, it never showed. Whenever he saw her - few times lately - she always had the most open and shining eyes, filled with admiration for her older brother. Loki knew she preferred him to Thor not only because they had been closer as children, but also because she, like Loki and practically nobody else in Asgard, preferred thinking to fighting. With an unremarkable body and scrawly limbs, nothing spectacular about her appearance except for the quality of her cloth - almost always red and always shapeless on her - and a head of confused hair no maid bothered for too long with, she was too old to play with other girls but too young to be courted. Not that anyone wanted to, because she was at such a distance form the throne she might as well have been a mantelpiece. She was called to attend royal family gatherings sometimes, but her presence was only a formality and her words, presuming she ever had anything to say, wouldn't have any weight anyway. Odin loved her, as he did all his children, but it was a love so much thinned due to over-use and its wide distribution that she didn't think it there anymore. She felt as unloved as Loki did, and for this he was almost grateful to her.

"Why did you have to come see that, anyway?" the prince went on with his pleading, this time mostly to himself as he stared at his boots. "Do you have so little to do?" he asked, gently. "Would you like me to..." and he stopped with a cough as a servant scurried past, her head bowed, and he stood a bit away from the door as if he were waiting for Avildis to come out. When the echoing steps were far away, he continued: "would you like us to spend more time together? Sis?" Nothing. "I've missed you you know, I've missed you too." Loki grinned, "I know _you_ have. Your face is always such an open book." Then, with a pleading voice, "You have missed me, haven't you?" Still nothing.  
"Come now, sis, this is getting silly. Just open the damn door." He leveled his hand against it, readying to push it open but losing his nerve at the last minute. He settled instead for a gentle, timid scratch. "You've decided to be mad at me, then?"


	2. Compass and the ruler

**iLied. The smut is going to come in at Chapter 3. But it's going to be relatively brief and mild, and more of a character study anyway.**

**Oh, and I forgot to mention this in the first chapter: the idea of Loki being bullied for "looking like a girl" and "not having a beard" and all that is something I read about on tumblr in a short but very interesting and accurate article written by ****mosellegreen** on Asgardian culture, with research to back it up. Give a search in Google for "Asgard and Beards" and you should be able to find it.

**Another thing I forgot to talk about is the OC's name. It's something I made up out of Avi (meaning "desired"), Linde ("gentle, soft") and the suffix -dis for "goddess". The name meanings come from Ancient Germanic and Germanic Mythology respectively, with the suffix being used for Ancient Scandinavian deities. ****Or so BehindTheNamedotcom tells me.**

**And that's it from me. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

The throne room had once again been improvised for the family conference, and the atmosphere was as thick as its participation was thin. Thor and Loki weren't in attendance, because the whole thing was about _them_, though there were a couple of higher ranking councilmen and a general, but the queen wasn't there because...

"Where's mother?" Avildis asked one of her sisters, leaning greatly in her chair to reach the princess.  
"Don't know, ask father." the royal shrugged.

Avildis wasn't quite so little anymore, though even as a young woman she felt incredibly green in her present company. Two of her sisters were already married, and the one she had just talked to was engaged - if there can be such a thing as a decade long engagement.  
Although she was young Avildis wasn't stupid, and her parents had seen that. She had even been called in on a council meeting once, and one of the councilmen asked for her opinion - the discussion was about whether they should opt for maroon or lavender candles at festivities celebrating childbirth. She couldn't remember what she answered, but she was very flattered at being asked.  
Thinking back on it now, the girl was a little humiliated at how she'd allowed something so small to matter so much.

This meeting was nothing like that though. This had a more serious air, and the chamber was cushioned in darkness on all sides, with the wooden table radiating a yellow warmth like that of the candles surrounding them. What they were gathered to discuss that was so serious was the line of succession, although there really wasn't much to discuss. Odin had made that clear enough. From the head of the table and the start of the meeting he bellowed nobly across its length: "As you all know, I have prepared Thor to be my heir. The coronation should be scheduled to occur a few months from now. But first, I wanted to gather all of you so that we can discuss this matter, its familial and- political implications." A servant went gently around the table, filling everyone's glasses with wine. "Obviously it is going to mark a significant change. However, Thor is in all respects ready to take leadership of the realm. My lords, I wish to hear if you see reason to doubt my son's readiness for ascension." spoke the king, giving word to his councilmen.

"Your highness," started the elder Freyr, lifting his grey self to make a speech, "having consulted the chamber and its active counselors and having myself searched through the..." he paused, patting his curled beard across the belly, "the rumination and thoughts that my long years as your majesty's aid compel upon me in this matter, I feel light of heart and conscience when I say that your son would make a most meritorious king, that he enjoys the admiration and support of all, and that he would be a worthy successor to your majesty's throne." Taking a slow bow, the old Asgardian took his seat. Avildis pouted in her dark corner at how he had spoken of Thor, as if he were the only. '_Thor, your son __**Thor**__ would make a most..._' the girl corrected in her mind.  
His younger counterpart was already getting up to speak.  
"As my esteemed fellow has said, my lord," started Orvar, "the court and indeed all the people of Asgard have the utmost confidence in your lordship's son, Thor. His virtue in morality and virtuosity in battle go unparalleled within the realm. He represents the ideal son of Asgard, and is sure to make us proud in campaigns and relations to other realms with his valiant heart and good nature."  
Avildis was already getting tired, and slumped in her too-tall seat she looked balefully across the table at her father, pouting her fleshy lips more and toying with her wine up, her pale arm stretched taut across the table.

"My lord!" started now the general Vidar standing to attention, "Your lordship's son is the finest aesir the nine realms have e'er seen since your lordship and your lordship's father. He has proven himself worthy of Mjolnir and has wielded that mighty weapon with excellence. He makes a fine warrior, he shall make a fine king!"  
The girl's eyes went from the general to her father and back again, trying to measure the effect the speeches had had on the old king, while the rest of her stood still and waited. Odin, as ever, looked temperate and contemplative.

"My girls?" said he with a quiet sweetness in his voice. Nothing they said mattered, politically, but he loved to hear them speak nevertheless. The three older sisters gave their approval with varying degrees of sweetness and enthusiasm - all of them loved Thor, and all of them were sad to think Odin would no longer be kind. As was Avildis, but she didn't share their motives. Coughing timidly, she asked permission to speak too. It was a bit of a surprise, because she very rarely did that. It surprised her too, in a way.

"I have a question. If that's all right with you, father." asked the girl who, standing, still seemed to be seated, small as she was and made smaller through the shadows of the room and the maroon the dress which seemed to swallow her.  
"Of course." said the king, urging her on with a note of happiness at seeing her finally so brave and almost proud.  
"It is more of a question for general Vidar, I suppose." she smiled slightly. "But, it is for everyone, because he says what we all think. Er, what everyone thinks." She tried not to look around at the bored faces of her sisters, and instead focused on the dark wood of the table. "Thor is indeed a great warrior. The greatest! And he is very much loved. But why w-... I just wanted to ask, why would those things make him a great king?" The others didn't quite seem to understand her meaning. "You yourself, father, you are all of those things but I don't think Thor has- I think he is yet too young to have your temperance and... and wisdom. Isn't he?"  
The councilmen and the general weren't quite sure how to handle this situation. How does one go about contradicting a fledgling royal without making her seem stupid? They looked to the king for guidance, but Odin understood her better. It made the girl's heart bloom in long-denied happiness.

"You're right. He is young. But he would not be alone: the council would-"  
"Would let him do what he wanted!" whined the girl, to the surprise of those around her. "They-" They thought so much of him and trusted him so implicitly, she couldn't see them contradicting King Thor. But she bit her lip before she could say it in front of them. "Wouldn't we do better with a king that is already brave, _and_ wise?"  
"Linde..." started Odin, using his pet name for her which broke her heart to hear again, "I am too old. Even Idony's apples are losing their patience with me, as I with them."  
"I wasn't talking about you, thought." mumbled the girl under her breath, though making sure she could still be heard.  
"You're talking about Loki..." the king realised.

Odin leaned back and seemed to ponder the suggestion, though the look in his eye didn't give his youngest much hope. Avildis had kept her spite for Loki those past five years since they'd fallen over his fight. He no longer had to battle for his right to be taken seriously by the warriors, enjoying tenuous respect when it came to them, but it was a battle he had yet to win when it came to ladies, and which he lost given he seemed as loveless as Avildis herself. But in spite of her bitter feelings towards her brother, the girl knew he would still be a better king than Thor. She had so little left to lose in the eyes of others, she didn't see why she should hide that opinion.  
"Loki, for all his merits..." '_Here it comes._' she closed her eyes and almost let herself slump back down in her seat, "doesn't enjoy Thor's support. He would find it much harder to unite the various-"  
"He could do it, though. He could." intervened the girl, to the renewed surprise of the other men.  
"I know he could." spoke the king sadly. "But they do not. Asgard's uncertainties would be used against Loki, and that is not the sort of reign he deserves. You're right that he could achieve more than Thor," and a silent wave of shock passed through the room at that, "which is why his task would be, in the end, more difficult than Thor's. Asgard is enjoying a period of balance and peace. It doesn't need a veteran for a king, nor a philosopher. To rule over a peaceful realm is a tedious thing... It is tedious when there is nothing left to build." Avildis pressed her lips together. There was no argument left to be had.  
"So what will Loki do then?"  
"That is between my son and I." said the king with finality. "But don't worry about him. His purpose in the universe will be no less glorious than Thor's." he ended with a smile that said 'trust me'. The girl nodded, and sat back down. She couldn't help feeling disillusioned, but oddly hopeful for whatever it was worth.

* * *

The enormous doors moaned as they were pushed open, the nobles pouring out of them like a sad and tired wave of blue, gold and burgundy. Or maybe they just seemed sad to Avildis; she doubted they were, really. She was the only one who felt sad, and afraid. Turning her head she noticed the general looking at her, circumspect, but he looked away as soon as she saw him. In the end, what did it matter if Loki wasn't going to be king? Her life would go on the same way regardless of who was on the throne, and it would be far more tedious than anything Thor would have to put up with.  
She dragged her legs and her heavy gown back to her room, in a thin and tall corner of the palace. It would probably be a long while until she'd be needed by anyone for anything else.

Behind a tapestry, behind the doors, the younger prince watched the small procession of nobles. His armour and emerald cape hung off of his broad shoulders more flatteringly than they had in his whole life, and for the first time in years he felt like a true Asgardian in bearing. But it was a poor substitute for the substance provided by recognition, recognition which always went to Thor - for good reason, of course, but his resentment had a mind of its own sometimes.  
The meeting and its purpose was no secret to him. It was nice of Odin to keep it from his sons and spare them any anxieties, but the secrecy was unnecessary.

The last to leave was the servant that everyone had forgotten in the shadows. She looked around almost frightened, her rough little hands wringing each other against the brown material of her dress. Finally looking at the tapestry, she spotted the prince and approached him with a mixture of relief and trepidation.  
"My lord." she nodded, her blonde curls tickling her blushing cheeks. Loki dragged her further behind the tapestry.  
"Well?"  
"Well, er..."  
"What did they talk about, you little fool. What did they say?" His tone wasn't harsh, but it didn't need to be to scare her.  
"The coronation. I mean, the throne. The... The succession."  
"The usual, then. What did old Freyr have to say?"  
"Er, he- he said..." The girl frowned hard as she thought back to the speech and what it could've meant, and she worried her lip as she tried to form the words. "He... said good things, my lord?"  
"Right." Loki sighed, exasperated and understanding that it must've went over her head completely. "And Orvar?"  
"The same. He said that 'prince Thor is an ideal Asgardian and he is valiant and kind hearted.'" she nodded. "And Vidar said-"  
"I don't give a dregs' worth what that boulder had to say." interjected Loki. He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment before remembering to ask "What about the princesses?"  
"Oh, they were most happy too." smiled the girl. "Except for the youngest. I beg your pardon, my lord, I don't know her name-"  
"Avildis."  
"Aye, her. She thought Thor was too young to be king."  
"Too young?" laughed the prince.  
"Nno, not too young, too... Too inexperienced? Not too wise! Yes, that's what she said. My lord. And, and she thought you ought to be king."  
"Did she?"  
"Mhm. My lord."  
Loki didn't know whether what he was feeling was warmth or intrigue. His heart certainly felt a bit bigger at that vote of confidence, especially from such an unexpected corner. He thought the girl had never forgiven him for that silly episode that until now had completely slipped his mind.  
"What else did she say?"  
"That you could do everything Thor could for the realm, as king." the servant recited, her blue eyes looking absently at the ceiling as she struggled with her memory.  
"And of course, father..."  
"The king decided on Thor, my lord."  
"As he should..." mumbled Loki.

He stood lost in his thoughts for a few moments, and he didn't like where most of them were taking him. And for the first time in a long while, he didn't know what to do. That Thor would be king was obvious, but life was still full of surprises, and it chose a surprising agent to manifest itself through.  
The servant girl, in the meanwhile, shifted her weight from leg to leg while she waited to be dismissed from behind the stuffy old tapestry.  
"Do you have any duties tonight?" asked the prince when he remembered her again.  
"N-no?"  
"Good, then you will wait for me in the usual spot. Yes?"  
"Yes, my lord." she bowed and blushed and ran off before he could ask her anything else, leaving Loki to slip from behind the embroidery of episodic Asgardian victories moments later, lost in his thoughts and a smile lost on his lips.


	3. Nocturne

**Prepare yourselves! A blowjob is coming (and Loki is too).**

* * *

The prince was standing stiffly as he perused the darkness of the herb pantry, the hanging dried roots and flowers, scarce petals littering the dusty, sugary-salty-peppered floor, a faint current sweeping through the hollow hallways of the sleeping palace making its way between his slightly parted legs, through his hair and pushing gently against his cape, moving on to swing the hanging boughs in the sweet smelling room. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, a picture of contentment.

In front of him, on her knees, the servant girl tried her best not to choke. It wasn't the first time she was doing this, and somehow she hoped it wouldn't be the last. She wasn't very sure about what it meant, but the feminine part of her enjoyed the attention it involved and the fact that it came from a prince. He wasn't even very rough with her, and he certainly smelled nicer than the boys in the kitchens. Looked better, too.

She opened her eyes to gaze up at him through her lashes while her lips rubbed back and forth, over and around him. The tip reached the back of her mouth and it tickled in an unpleasant way, but she was better prepared for the feeling now at least. Moving back, the girl could take a better look at his up-turned face and silently hope for his approval before she closed in again and reached the raw smelling leather of his tunic.

Loki looked down for a moment, somewhat bored with how slow she was going, when he caught her pleading eyes looking up at him. She had something of the cow about her, he thought with displeasure. Her large eyes stared but told him nothing, and from that position her nose looked quite big and he could hardly see her lips moving around him. He signed, and with a hand in her curly mane pushed her head lower so that he wouldn't have to look at her. The girl groaned a little when he pushed himself in too deeply; he almost apologised.

* * *

There was a lute playing in the corner - a machine turning a magical tune on its own - and there was a shadow dancing on the wall, swinging leisurely in a fuzzy outline. She sat herself at a vanity of worn wood and propping her soft face in her palms, the girl started into the ornate mirror. Avildis was spending another night entertaining herself with chocolates and dreams and music. There was going to be a feast in a couple of days. The All-father was to announce the date of Thor's coronation, and then there'd be eating and drinking and much merry-merry making. She supposed it was too early to get ready for it, but she might as well get a head start. Midnight is a perfectly reasonable time of day.

She brushed her hair until her arms were sore, then tried to braid it, then failed and had to brush it again. It was a bore, that mess of wires, and although long and beautiful and straight (her finest feature, she thought) she never could do anything with it. She wanted to fashion herself two long braids and have them hang heavily down her front, like the ladies on the tapestries. The latest fashions were beyond her skill anyway, and Avildis didn't like having the servants do things with her hair. She used to have an old maid tend to her, but she was taken away when the girl grew up.  
Avildis was much more alone the more she grew, though she wasn't sure yet how much she minded it. She supposed she missed her brothers, but she was too bitter to linger on the thought - too bitter with Thor over their father's preferential _blindness_, and bitter still with Loki for betraying everything she felt for him.

* * *

They settled in a new rhythm and now he could reach deeper down her throat. With a twitch of his features, Loki was pleased to realise she was getting better at it. Shyly the girl even extended her tongue to trace a brief icy-wet line over his sack before dragging her lips up his length again. He started to thrust harder and she tightened her lips as much as she could, holding him against the roof of her mouth with her tongue. His hand tightened in her hair and started thrusting harder and deeper, shushing the girl when she whined and groaned at his shoving. She lifted a dirty paw to hang onto his hip and he was almost there, cursing under his breath at the involuntary flinch her intimate touch gave him. Heaving and groaning almost pitifully, the young prince bent forward for a moment, his eyes tightly shut as he spilt down her throat. He kept her head firmly against him for a moment longer to enjoy the warmth of her mouth, and to make sure she took it all in.

"No." the prince said harshly when she tried to pull away. "Clean me up first." Loki smirked. "With your mouth." he added quickly when he saw her lifting her apron. He could tell with amusement that the girl wasn't quite sure what to do, but she leaned back down anyway and started to brush her tired tongue down his cock. She may've been stupid but she was a fast learner, he thought with a chuckle. She used her lips too, sucking up the left-over salty liquids from his skin and even kissing him in places, leaving in the end no part of him unsatisfied.

After squirming a little, the little servant was let go of and groggily she got up off the floor. She sloppily wiped her mouth with her sleeve and rubbed at her knees, looking with a bit of resentment at the prince for holding her down on the cold stone floor for so long. He didn't look at her, however. He was busy fixing the front of his trousers and straightening his coat, still breathing heavily from the exercise.

Loki wasn't really a very debauched individual - at least not by Asgardian standards. His only "companion" so far had been the girl before him, and she didn't need a lot of convincing. She was a few years younger but ironically more experienced than he. It probably had something to do with why he would only let her take him with her mouth. The princeling felt a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach and the tip of his pride at the thought of his so groomed and majestic self soiled in the nether depths of her fleshy cum-towel. Her legs were nothing to boast either, so he was satisfied with just using the top half of her.

Walking out of the pantry, with no little regard for stealth, Loki took to fixing the rest of his appearance in a beautifully patterned old mirror hung for cleaning - it must have belonged to some lady of the court. He fixed his hair and straightened his collar and tried to wipe the sweat off his brow, while the girl looked at him mutely. He thought that maybe she was waiting for something, but he couldn't be bothered.  
Turning his face this way and that, he had to admire the features fine if not overly manly. Loki couldn't deny a note of sadness about them that night, but he had a mouth made for laughing and that was good enough. Laughter had been his truest friend and companion, even when he had very little to laugh about.

"I'll call on you again if I need you." he mumbled to the girl so quickly she barely caught it, then made out of the kitchens in a whirlwind of dark green.  
There would soon be even less to laugh about. Loki remembered, in spite of himself, that the feast for announcing Thor's coronation was to take place in a week's time. He tried not to think about it. He wanted to be happy for Thor - and he was, he reminded himself - but there was a nagging feeling that dragged at his heels. A feeling of envy and slight and frustration at not being seen.  
'_Is there anything to see?_' he thought sometimes. It had never really been explained to him why Thor was the favourite. He was older, but age never carried much weight in Asgard. He was a splendid soldier, but he had the - unfair, Loki thought - advantage of Mjolnir. The hammer was the only reason Thor beat Loki in battle every time, but nobody had the goodness to admit it.  
Marching back to his rooms, Loki tried to put those thoughts out of his head. He had developed the habit of becoming depressed after his "sessions" with the servant girl, and he didn't like it. He was determined to be happy about Thor, even if it meant lying to himself. Lying was what he was good at, after all.

* * *

The sun was beginning to rise, and Avildis decided she might as well go to bed. The lute had stopped playing hours ago. With a wide, tired movement she heaved from the vanity and let herself fall in the cloudy softness of her bed, face first. The night had been a success. Avildis had decided exactly on her hair, and her dress, and the makeup she now wore to bed, too happy with it to take it off. Maybe she would dream of a handsome hero and he'd find her looking pretty. They could have breakfast without her.

* * *

She **had** to be there at breakfast. The queen wouldn't have it any other way. It was more than just a breakfast: it was a chance to make sure they all knew what they had to do tomorrow, a very important day for Thor. The dining room was emptier than usual, reserved only for the royal family and its extended members.  
Frigga had her litter of children gathered around her next to the rich table. Thor kept playing with fruit while he listened to his mother and his sisters. He was more cheerful than the birds than sang outside.

Avildis was leaning against the back of a chair like a used rag. Her arms hung beside her and her hair sagged on her shoulders. She still wore the makeup from last night - and somehow it managed to make her look better when it was worn out, as it no longer looked like makeup but instead seemed a very natural part of her.

"Have you received your instructions already?" asked a cool voice beside her. Turning almost in disbelief, she saw her grinning brother Loki there. Avildis wasn't sure how she should treat him. She wanted to pretend she was as mad at him as ever, but she was too tired for that. She mumbled noncommittally in reply.  
"Sorry, what was that?"  
"I haven't, and I don't _care_." she said. He paused for a moment, but didn't move from her side, straight as a rod.  
"Are you still mad at me?"  
"Maybe." Loki couldn't contain a chuckle - or he didn't want to. "You find that risible?"  
"No, no..." he looked down at his boots, not hiding the mockery in his tone. "No, it's quite serious, you're right."  
"It's good that you're laughing." the girl went on. "You'll be the one who will have to deal with 'the king', not I. You'll be marched to wars a couple of realms across. I'll be here, stitching tattered capes with funny colours."  
Loki looked at her quite seriously now, his eyes silent slits. "Do you really think he'll make a bad king?" he asked silently.  
"Yes." answered Avildis like it was obvious, looking up at him with wide eyes and a pout. "Don't you?"

Loki chose to look blankly ahead instead of answering her. Of course she was right. Thor idolised war like the realm idolised _him_. Loki wouldn't go so far as to say Thor would seek it out, but he recognised in his brother something he too felt: a need to prove himself. Thor wanted to prove to the realm that he could be as mighty as their father. Loki only wanted to prove himself to Odin - he didn't care about the rest of the realm.

"I told father I wanted you to be king." she whispered suddenly.  
Loki turned his head away and smirked. "Really?"  
"He wouldn't listen, of course."  
"And I thought you-"  
"I _do_ hate you." Avildis quickly interjected, leveling a death stare up at the giant by her side.  
"Then you must hate Thor even more." spoke Loki with a questioning tone.  
His sister only shrugged. "It isn't a matter of hating."  
"You think I'm better, then." grinned the prince.  
"Yes, when your mouth is shut."

She then got up and dragged herself to Frigga, listening on her instructions absently. Loki let her have her escape, but kept watching her curiously.  
Avildis had grown a bit those last five years. She was still the slightest in their family, and he knew that he positively dwarfed her in both height and width. It gave her an impish air he could easily find endearing. He had always seen something endearing about her ever since they were children...

His hands clasped behind him, thumbs playing with the jutting bones of his wrists, Loki paced around the room and pretended to contemplate a breakfast. Beneath his little sister's bites and scratches he could feel a kitten's softness. There was always something forced about her when she tried to be aggressive. Loki could tell it was a very artificial thing for her. So he was confident in the thought that she didn't hate him nearly as much as she thought she did, and this in turn made him feel warm in the hollow of his chest. Whatever his sister felt for him, it at least wasn't indifference, and this made him feel a little guilty because for so many years he had been indifferent about _her_. But it wasn't too late to fix that.

* * *

The dining room was empty save for servants cleaning up the leftovers and the little princess having a few last minute bites before she went back to bed. She felt herself burning with tiredness whenever she only got a few hours of sleep - her stomach itself didn't seem awake.

Loki approached her from behind with measured steps. He decided on a gamble.

"Oh, sis?"  
"What?" she turned her tired pair of greys on him.  
"Would you- er, do you mind if I ask-" Loki wasn't sure where this loss of words came from.  
"If you're going to ask that we have a talk to patch things up again - because there's nothing else you _could_ ask me - then fine."  
"Oh. Thank you." Just like that. He wasn't sure when she developed the ability to guess so clearly the intentions of others, though he admittedly was being conspicuously obvious, somewhat intentionally.  
"Just not in my room, because it's a frightful mess."  
"Of course. Mine, then?"  
"Not now. I'm going to sleep now." she said, picking up an apple and making to leave, going for the wrong door, turning and coming out the right way finally, leaving Loki in a perplexed sort of amusement.

The Master of Mischief spent the rest of the day trying to figure his younger sister out. The core of her being was the same as it was decades ago, or at least the same as he remembered her. She seemed a freer spirit than the rest of the family, though in that way more trapped by courtly life. The microverse of the palace didn't agree with her way of doing things - or the lack of it - but because she was a royal it couldn't blatantly disagree with her. They didn't know what to do with her either, so she was just allowed to do what she wanted. Avildis was left to drift into obscurity. That is what would have happened to himself, Loki realised, if he had lacked focus like she did.  
Did she like anything, he wondered? Loki toyed with the thought of being her knight in shining armour, like she had been for him in a way. She didn't manage to save him from Odin's slight, but her effort was valiant.  
"I suppose bravery has many forms in the house of Odin." he mused with a good-natured smirk.

* * *

The next day, Avildis was woken in the afternoon by a round of insistent knocking. Blinking sadly in the golden sunlight, she rolled out of bed and ran to the door with the vigor of an angered newborn.  
"Who is it?" she called, trying not to sound like she'd just woken up.  
"Good 'morning', sis." answered Loki on the other side.  
With a pitiful whine, the girl opened the door to him and leaned on it, trying to block both his way in and his vision of the inside.  
"What time is it?"  
"Not too late. May I come in?"  
"No."  
Loki sighed with sincere regret, and with the most innocent look he could muster started pleading with her: "Sis, listen, I really am sorry about th-"  
"It isn't that." she gently said. "Really, it isn't. I just..."  
"Should I wait for you to get ready?"  
"If you can?"  
"Of course." grinned Loki with renewed enthusiasm. "I'll be in the garden, just down the corridor."  
"All right." smiled his sister tiredly and gently closed the door after him.

The fresh water of her bath woke her up completely, and she prettied her face and hair like someone with a purpose. The prospect of fixing her most tenderly loved friendship that afternoon infused her with happiness. She didn't even choose a dress with the usual painstaking care - she would have to change it for the evening anyway, into a gaudy golden thing to match the family.

The girl practically ran to the garden, her hair swinging down her back and the skirt of her dress billowing around her ankles as she stopped to look for her brother. She saw him seated on a bench, waiting for her in a stiffly regal pose. They both smiled as they saw each other. Smiles looked natural on Loki, but Avildis felt her cheeks stretch to an extent to which they didn't usually.

* * *

They had lunch together, neither of them eating much to save room for the evening feast. Both naturally slight, the siblings couldn't fit as much food in them as most others seemed to. They used the first half of their meeting to catch up with one another, which meant it fell mostly to Loki to do the talking, as Avildis admitted, somewhat with embarrassment, that nothing at all had happened in her little world.  
"Well it's only natural," said Loki, "you living up there in that secluded little tower. You should have your rooms closer to the center of the palace, you'd find it much easier to do things."  
"Like what, though?" she pouted.  
"Well, you could take trips in the valley with the other ladies... I remember you used to be keen on flowers. Is that still so?"  
"I suppose."  
"You could go riding!" offered Loki.  
"I do like to ride..."  
"Or go to the mountains sometimes. Remember how beautiful they were when we were last there?"  
Avildis was now just finishing her meal while she kept her eyes to Loki, waiting silently for more.  
"And there are dances far more frequently than there are grand affairs, really. Just spontaneously organised feasts and balls. I suppose Fandral knows more about that..."  
"Is he that very blonde friend of Thor's?"  
"The very same."  
"But what would I be doing there?"  
"I don't know..." pondered Loki. "I'll admit, I don't much like them myself. _You_ should, though, you're far more pleasing to the eyes."  
"I'm selfish about who I do the pleasing to." she grinned over the rim of a cup of mead.  
"Only for your mirror?" grinned her brother too.  
"Yes. I save myself for the most worthy audience."  
"It would do you good to go to some dances though."  
"I don't dance."  
"I could go with you."  
"I thought you didn't like them."  
"Oh the sacrifices I make for family... There's gossip too, you know. Those are the best parts - and I'm not the only one who thinks it, but the only one brave enough to admit it. Do you like gossip?"  
"I do." she confessed with a little smile.  
"And all the young courtiers and warriors and ingenues and parvenus attend. I'm sure you could find some fun in them."  
"At their expense, you mean?"  
"Why? Would you eat them up?" Loki asked, leaning forward with such a conspiratorial air that Avildis bloomed into laughter. "I meant it figuratively, of course." added her brother with an unrepentant grin.


	4. Take those lips away

**Finally, the chapter that brings the party. No smut yetttt (almost), but baby steps.**

**While I'm at it, I want to specifically thank you guys for the comments and faves and follows. Seeings those things made me want to hug my screen, so again thank you =D**

* * *

The palms of her hands stung from the passionate, obligatory applause in Thor's honour. Avildis clapped so hard her tiny body shook, caught up in some collective passion as others in the crowd cheered and leapt. Even in such a company, so many of those seated at her table being family or relations, Avildis felt the anxiety of the lost. For a few years she hadn't been comfortable in seas of people and felt terribly alone in them. She looked longingly to the far left, at her brother Loki. He was seated next to their mother, who was seated next to Odin, on whose left sat Thor after which followed a long line of warriors starting with the lady Sif.  
Avildis couldn't believe how happy Loki seemed, when only a few hours prior they were in such a harmony of opinion regarding Thor and the throne. And now there he was, taking his seat after the round of speeches ended, looking at their brother like he was the morning sun. His brilliant smile disheartened the girl more than her ennui at the feast itself, and she decided not to look at him anymore.

Avildis sat by her sister Rheda who had already found a cousin of theirs and was animatedly talking to the long-lost friend. It suited the younger sister just fine. She didn't like having to talk when she was morose, and was left to stab at her food until it was mush and then go straight to the sweets and pastries. She couldn't stop a few traitorous glances from slipping now in Loki's direction, then in Thor's, finding both brothers in beaming good moods and engaged in what looked like very satisfying conversations, Thor with Volstagg and Loki with some uncle of theirs, leaning occasionally to engage with the man's son too. They all looked sickingly happy to Avildis, who was losing her patience with the lot of them.

* * *

She couldn't remember the last time she attended such a long feast. Nobody had gotten up to leave yet, which meant _she_ couldn't leave yet. And food and drink were still being brought in...  
After another hour of this, the people at the other tables - lower nobles and ladies and warriors - started getting up only to go to other tables and converse with their friends there, and soon the music picked up and a few started dancing, then more of them, and then the royal table started to get lighter too. With a sigh of relief, Avildis - who felt like her face had melted from tiredness - got ready to shove herself away from the table like it was a plague and drag her golden-gray gown back to her tower, then possibly fall asleep in it. The evening, she thought, was an official disaster. Most painfully of all, the last hours had made her doubt Loki's sincerity about everything, and even made her fear what he might have said to their mother.

She was just getting up when her seat bumped into something. The girl looked up to find what must have been one of the thousands of anonymous warriors, looking remarkably sheepish for someone who dined in his armour. He was starting to make some apologies she was too weary to pay attention to, so she just groaned and got up anyway.  
"Milady? Lady Avildis?"  
"Yes." she sighed, then frowned as a terrible feeling came over her when she realised he knew her name.  
"Excuse me, I do not think we know each other-"  
"I'm sure we don't."  
"- I am Njord Freyrson. I believe your brother has spoken to you about me."  
"I hardly get to talk to my brother, good night." the girl replied in one breath as she brushed past him.  
"Oh, I'm sorry..." he started, dejectedly. "Prince Loki led me to believe you would- Well, good-" he didn't get to say "night" when Avildis turned right back to him.  
"Loki?"  
"Yes." Njord beamed.

Avildis appraised him in one sweeping gaze while her body stayed stiff and circumspect. He looked older than she but not by much, and he sported a russet beard and a shining armour of silver with a deep blue cape and tunic peeking above his ornate vambraces, his hair didn't quite reach the level of his chin, and he had the most sycophantic smile she had ever seen. She decided immediately that she did not like him, but to her despair she was still a little curious.  
"Did prince Loki send you, then?"  
"Well," he was obviously trying to be diplomatic and she could tell he was going to fail pathetically. "his Lordship suggested I could entertain you. He seemed to think I co-"  
"Suggested? You mean he tricked you into it?"  
"No, no..." the warrior hurried to take back his words while he stepped tentatively forward. "He simply mentioned you as- we were talking a short while ago, and he asked me if I could make sure you... you... got the most out of the evening!" he grinned.

Avildis groaned tiredly as she took a palm to her face, realising with no small amount of shame that Loki must have seen her being melancholy and sent her something to play with. Either he thought he was doing her a favour or he had a cruel sense of humour. She wagered on the latter.  
"So you barely even know him, too. Well I don't need entertainment, I need to be alone. Good night again." the lady said with as much dignity as she could manage, and turned on her heels in a chime of jewelry and made for the nearest exit. She didn't realise it when she passed by Loki.

"Leaving already, sis?" the prince called as he leaned over the back of his seat. She responded with a violent toss of her hand over her shoulder. "Oh come now..." and he grabbed his helmet as he got up to go after her. "Did I offend you? Has someone offended you?"  
"I would've left sooner if you hadn't sent that oaf after me." she answered as he caught up with her.  
"I thought you'd like him."  
"You can keep him for yourself."  
"I don't think I could quite do the things with him that you could." he grinned good-naturedly, to which Avildis only turned her head to smile sardonically at him. "What do you want to do then? You've looked so miserable all evening." She didn't answer in any way, and Loki couldn't figure out why that worried him a little. He had maybe begun to realise that Avildis loved to talk in spite of her frequent seclusion - or perhaps because of it - and silence from her was the sign of a storm not far away.

But at least she wasn't nearly running now, and they fell to a strolling pace down the candle adorned hall as they moved further from the large and loud party. The girl kept her face in an almost fierce concentration, though Loki knew she wasn't at all paying attention to the distance in front of them.  
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he suggested eventually, his hands clasped behind his back while looking at her with pleading eyes.  
"I just hated the dreadful feast, as I knew I would. You don't have to stay with me." Avildis answered with surprising gentleness.  
"No no no, something else is wrong. What is it? Is it Thor?"  
"No, it's not." said the girl as she clenched her jaw.  
"Is it something I did?"  
"In a way... No. No, yes. It's entirely what you did." and she finally deigned to look up at him. Loki found the flash of fire in her eyes at once a little frightening and endearing - she was a daughter of Odin without question.  
"What did I do now?" he smiled.  
The girl immediately closed her eyes, though still kept walking, trying to shut out the conversation they were having. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." she said in quick succession and sighed. "I just so hated seeing you tonight, looking so... gah, what's the word..."  
"What?"  
"Cheerful, I suppose? I'm not sure." and Avildis looked at him again, with somewhat despair this time. "You just seemed _happy_, you looked like everyone else, when just today after we talked about ourselves... and you said you agreed with me about Thor, and now..." The girl stumbled in her words in such a way that her confusion was made abundantly clear to Loki. He looked down and felt a needling of shame at the realisation of what she was talking about, but he was determined to not apologise.  
"I had to be; as well you know. What would it look like if I were as sour as you?" She opened her mouth in an outrage she couldn't even voice, and Loki regretted his words immediately. "I didn't mean it like that. You know I agree with you on everything..."  
"No, I don't! How can I, when you're so..."  
"Trust me, sis. Believe when I say that in front of you I can be honest and that in front of ten hundred I can not. You do understand that, can't you?" The pleading in his eyes made Avildis' resolve crumble significantly, and she pouted as she looked ahead.  
"I guess." She felt his hand grab onto her elbow gently, and he pulled her with him down a different hallway.  
"Let's go this way. You said you don't want us to talk in your room. Mine isn't far."

* * *

"Why did you send that personage to me, anyway?" she asked again once they were in his room.  
"I told you, I thought you'd like him." answered Loki serenely as he closed the door and went to place his helmet on a nearby stand.  
"No, why did you really?"  
"Because." he said, his hands clasped behind him and his back straight. "Because you looked unhappy and you barely exchanged a word with anyone all evening."  
"I don't need someone to be happy, I needed to be away from there." she glowered.  
"I couldn't have you looking so conspicuously displeased, sis."  
Avildis took a couple of deep breaths before she stepped closer and slapped the back of her hand over his face, her bony knuckles colliding painfully with his cheekbones, to Loki's somewhat surprise and her slight horror. He moved away before she could slap him again.

"I don't think I deserved that." said the prince with a great deal of calm as he walked backwards into the room. Avildis wasn't curious enough about what it looked like to take her angry eyes away from him.  
"You don't think I should be outraged at your treating me like a liability? How dare you...? I'll look miserable if I want to."  
"It just didn't seem wise, in the circumstances. That is all."  
"Nobody cares! Nobody would notice."  
"You don't know that."  
"Spare me..."  
"Well,** I** noticed. If I could, someone else could too. What is there to be so unhappy about, anyway?"  
"I knew it." Avildis started as she pointed an accusing finger at him. "You want Thor to be king like they all do. You don't think I'm right."  
"Don't be stupid, sis, nor presume me so." he retorted sternly. It hurt Avildis in an odd way, and she felt on the brink of tears.  
"I want to go to my room now." she said under her breath and turned, before Loki held onto her again.  
"No, stay." her brother pleaded. "I don't want us to fight... We're on the same side, you and I."  
She allowed herself to be taken further into the room but still leveled venomous looks at him. "On whose side?"  
"Mine?" Loki grinned, knowing she'd laugh at the joke (that was really only a half joke), and she did crack a smile, her resolve melting as quickly as it had formed. "Here, sit down." he offered, patting his bed. "Can I get you anything?" She shook her head and plopped down next to him. Her left leg was bent under her knee and she felt like letting herself fall backwards and go to sleep right there. There was a pressing ache forming behind her eyes, and she didn't know whether it was from tiredness or tears still fighting their way out.

"It's not my fault I don't agree with Thor's nature." she mumbled suddenly. "Maybe he'll be a great king, and I'll regret all of this in five months' time."  
"That's the doubt of exhaustion, not the reason of clarity."  
"I _am_ tired." she admitted.  
"Listen, I've been thinking... Are you listening?"  
"Yes, go on."  
"I've come to realise something... About father. About his... partial blindness, so to put it." Avildis smirked at the pun and let him continue. "I've thought about whether it is partial to Thor or... er..."  
"Yourself?"  
"Yes, or to myself." Loki admitted. "The issue, I've concluded, is not that he, nor anyone else, sees Thor as more than he is. He is very honestly all they see him to be." He silently pleaded with his sister to be patient while she gave him a circumspect squint. "But they see only the good. They don't see what you and I see."  
"Obviously."  
"But it must be there, mustn't it? for us to see it. We're not deluded, are we sis?"  
"Is that a riddle?"  
"We must make them see what we do." concluded Loki. "And either they do, in which case they will be forced to reach the same conclusions as you and I, namely that Thor is not ready for the throne, or they will remain at their current opinion, in which case nothing could be done. And maybe, as you say, we'd have been wrong. Either way, the realm will have deserved it's fate because it would be up to the realm to decide what it wants."  
"How do we show them what we see, though?"  
"We don't." grinned Loki. "We make Thor show them." and when he saw her confusion, he added with flourish: "How else could they see it, if they don't look at the thing itself?"  
"So what do we do then?"  
"I'm not sure, exactly... I suppose we play Thor's personality against him."  
"His weaknesses, you mean."  
"If you want to put it like that."  
"This sounds like it's going to be dangerous..."  
"Why?"  
"Are you daft? Thor's weaknesses are his proclivity for warmongering and mindless destruction."

Loki pondered her words for a few moments, but entirely without sharing her anxieties. It would be very easy to convince Thor of the existence of an external enemy and accuse the pacifists of exposing the realm to danger, then point Thor in the general direction of the would-be threat and watch him try to defend Asgard the worst possible way. If he actually fell for it he'd deserve everything he got, and given the threat would be only hypothetical there would be no real danger to the realm anyway.  
"I knew I liked you for a reason." he finally said.  
"I think I still hate you." said Avildis as she threw a pillow at him with very little energy. Loki laughed at her jest and grabbed the cushion, the siblings left tugging each at the other end of it.  
"No, you don't." laughed Loki as he finally pulled the girl closer to him on the bed and 'disarmed' her.  
"I know." Avildis sighed and let herself fall further forward, landing lazily on her brother in a show of her exhaustion. He caught her and raised her dangling arms back on the bed. "I'm sorry for being scared all the time." she quietly said.  
"What was that?"  
"I said I was sorry." she repeated, sitting up a little so he could better hear her, and finally deigning to open her eyes again. "For being scared, all the time."  
"You're not, though."  
"Yes I am, don't lie." the girl mumbled. "I've let all my memories turn into anxieties..."  
"This melodrama doesn't suit you, sis." smiled Loki.  
"I do what I want." she mumbled and his smile grew.

Avildis felt another ache growing, this time inside her chest. And it was a feeling she was very familiar with. Although she had learnt to be quite content in her chosen solitude, moments of depression were unavoidable. It was never made more acute than when contrasted against things she had lost, or failed to gain. Loki was the ultimate demon in that way. Her regret at having lost their childhood friendship, pure and absolute and incomparable to the flimsy accord they had now, was paired with her jealousy at seeing him so enjoying a world that was denied her even as she too lived in it.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.  
"I'm thinking of how very much I've missed you." the girl half-lied, and wrapped her arms around his armoured chest as she nudged her head under his chin, pressing herself to him as tightly as she could. Loki was left at somewhat of a loss. It had been a long, long while since he'd felt affection expressed so physically, and for a while he was almost afraid to touch her. Eventually he wrapped his arms around her slight form and enjoyed the tenuous warmth of the moment.  
"I can't remember when I last embraced someone." Avildis laughed wearily. "I think it must've been when I was little."  
"It's as if you read my mind." smirked Loki, wondering seriously whether she _could_ read minds.  
"You haven't held someone either?" she looked at him like a curious bird.  
"Not in a while, I don't think." he smiled though not liking the confession.  
"Oh, poor thing..." said Avildis with the sympathy of the suffering. Her hand moved up to press against the side of his face as she smiled sadly at him, a part of her sadistically enjoying the prospect of his years not having been that much more enjoyable than hers. "You really are a good liar." she laughed, and then laughed more at his mock-hurt. "You looked so happy, and I can't stand it because you always look happiest when you're with other people."  
"You will deny it, but you've a jealous nature."  
"Don't distract from the subject. And yes, I am jealous. And you are, too."  
"Why would you say that?"  
"You want Thor's place."  
"It's not about the throne."  
"I know it isn't. It's about father."  
She could tell immediately that she hit a sore wound as Loki clenched his jaw and looked down between them. Avildis used her hand on his cheek to raise his head again and, as gently as she could, placed a kiss against his forehead in understanding and acceptance.  
If Loki hadn't been shocked by the affection her behaviour betrayed, he would have had the presence of mind to display his surprise. Avildis only smiled.  
"You haven't had that done to you in a long while either, have you?" she teased. For a moment she felt like a mother.  
"Don't tell me that you have..."  
"No." the girl laughed. She then kissed him again, on the cheek, just to see his reaction. Loki didn't hide his wonderment and amusement this time, and Avildis let her smile spread into a grin to match his own.  
"Do it again."

She peppered his face his kisses, small and faint and deliberately very childish. In a way she was mocking him, he noticed, and mocking herself too. He took her warm hand away from his cheek and for a second she was almost afraid he was mad at her, but then he kissed her hand in the most serious and gallant way, then moved up to her cheek and her chin and finished on the tip of her nose. For some reason, he felt his breathing quicken and his heart thump and his skin begin to burn beneath his clothes.  
But the two laughed at each other leisurely, both of them surprised at how easily they took to the renewed closeness and affection.

"I like that." nodded Avildis. "I like the thought that you aren't doing that with anyone else."  
Loki only smirked. In the back of his mind he thought he should keep her as far away from potential rivals of his as possible - she was so easily swayed with a drop of affection. Her one desire, he acknowledged, was the desire of someone else. He thought he could give her that... Feelings of gratitude were unavoidable, after all, for the support she gave without asking anything in return. Then again, he had already tried to give her a little reward earlier, and she rejected that.  
Loki could have fought the grin that came next, but decided to let her see it.  
"What?" She took the bait.  
"I can't help but wonder whether this is what you would be doing now with Njord if you hadn-"  
"I never would! He was unseemly..." she shrieked.  
"What did you find so revolting about him?!"  
"I just didn't like him. I don't know. Maybe it was the beard... It looked dipped in wine. His whole person was too hairy. Stop laughing."  
He did.

"Kiss me again." Loki suddenly said, sounding quite determined. "Come on, I liked it."  
"Greedy fiend..." the girl mumbled before leaning in again to brush her lips against his cheek.  
"That was barely a touch. You tickle."  
"Stop complaining."  
"And your lips feel dry..."  
"I won't put up with you for much longer, you know!"  
"No, no, I'm sorry..." he laughed. "Your lips _are_ dry, though." Loki went on as he brushed his thumb over them, under her exasperated stare. He couldn't help relishing how natural she made it all feel. The whole act felt completely chaste. Loki wondered whether that was in spite of Avildis or because of her. "Again." he said.

The girl drew back a little at the sudden mischievous glint in his eyes, but she put her arms around him anyway and pulled a look of mock-despair on her face, broken by an impish smile. Licking her lips first, for "His Fussiness'" benefit, with great pomp she planted another kiss on his cheek, full and loving. And then another smaller one, with her lips parted so she could slither her tongue out and slightly lick. Avildis grinned while waiting for his boyish disgust, but it never came.  
Instead, Loki smiled his usual smile and looked impishly at her, and then drew her face closer and kissed her on the cheek, then on the corner of her mouth, and then fully on the lips before she could shrink away from him. His hands held her firmly in place. He could feel her arm shifting under his grip beneath the second-skin of her soft dress, and her back was slithering like a snake. Her lashes tickled his cheek quite pleasantly - she seemed at a loss: to close her eyes, to look at him? - and she kept her mouth stony still but he didn't even care about that.  
Loki broke the kiss for a fraction only to kiss her again immediately, tasting another part of her mouth. All of it was soft and rich and her skin smelled of sweetness and warmth somehow.

He was starting to push her down onto the bed, and to his despair that broke Avildis out of her shock. Her hands went to his chest and, although gentle, her forced separation from him dealt its tiny wound. He was, at least, relieved to see she wasn't mad at him as he let go of her.  
"We shouldn't to be doing this, should we?" the girl whispered.  
"I suppose..."  
Avildis bit her burning lips and took a deep breath. "What if Heimdall sees?"  
"Don't worry about him."  
"What do you mean? Why not?"  
"Do you think I'd let him spy on me whenever he wanted to?" Loki could tell she still didn't understand. "As I said, don't worry..."  
"You can determine what he sees? Or, do you distract him?" Avildis asked, only just beginning to imagine the extent of Loki's powers.  
"I can hide certain things... Sometimes. It's how I've allowed us to have our talks." smiled the prince.  
"Are they that wrong? We never discussed things that are against the law, after all..."  
"And?" Loki couldn't share her naivety that a plot to compromise Thor - even via the proxy of his own self - would be well regarded.  
"And this is."  
"Ah."

"I don't mean it that way!" she started when she noticed him pulling back, dejected. Her trembling hand went to rest over his, but Loki pulled away, even more harshly than he intended, and turned so that he was no longer facing her.  
The girl winced when he snagged his hand from hers, a quiet sound that now echoed so loudly in his head. He was hurting her by denying his want of her, he realised - which did not imply that she necessarily wanted _him_. And still, he wished he could bottle up that tiny sound of hurt and hear it over and over while imagining it coming under wildly different circumstances. The part of him that cared for the legality that bothered her was swallowed up by a hedonist.

"You might as well leave, you're right." mumbled Loki while he fingered a strap on his vambrace.  
"No, no! I don't want to." the girl whined as she slid closer.  
"What do you want to do, then?" he asked as he finally looked up at her.  
"I don't know... What do _you_ want to do?"  
Loki chuckled drily, and a little darkly. "Again, you _might_ as well leave." and he resisted calling her 'sis' at the last second.  
"No." the girl pouted stubbornly as she moved even closer to him on the bed, her knees brushing against his thighs. "I don't mind it as much as you think I do."  
"What don't you mind?" asked Loki serenely.  
"You know..."  
"What?"  
"Kissing."  
"Kissing?"  
"Well kissing is relatively innocent, isn't it? What's the difference between a hand and a cheek and a..." '_Poor thing, she can hardly get herself to say "mouth"_.' thought Loki. "It's all skin anyway. It's not so wrong."  
"There's a great deal of skin more than _that_. Is the rest of it not so wrong too?" he asked with a smirk.  
Underneath the thoughts about what was underneath her skirt, Loki considered he should probably find a new pet name for her.

To his surprise she didn't blush, but she did look down and seemed to consider his words quite seriously. He couldn't be sure how far they went, however. Loki got the distinct feeling that she was incapable of grasping the gravity of any situation she was in. While that might be a problem when it came to their little plot, he couldn't bring himself to dislike it at that moment.

"Well, some of it is... I guess." Avildis admitted. "I still don't think I could bring myself to be upset at you for it though." she added as she looked at him with the largest, most trusting eyes.  
"Not being upset and -"  
"I like you better than anyone else, by far." she said in one strangled breath. "Wrong or not, you're the only one I would do this with."  
"Do what?" Loki asked, bracing himself on the bed to look the girl firmly in the eyes.  
"This..."  
"This what? What would we be doing?"  
"Holding each other, and..."  
"And that's it?"  
"And kissing." Now she blushed.  
"Kissing what?" Loki grinned.  
"You're perverse..." Avildis gasped as she moved and looked away.  
"I just wish to know." he laughed, following her closely. "I know you can express your thoughts fluently enough, Avildis my dear. Or is it your knowledge in anatomy that's lacking?" She turned away even further, though not before slapping his arm in a relieveingly playful way. "Because I could teach you."  
"I wager you'd like that..." she laughed.  
"I would." he answered quite seriously. "So come on, kissing what?" Loki pressed as her grabbed her arm once more and tried to turn her to face him. "Hands?"  
"Yes." Avildis whispered.  
"And up further? Arms, perhaps?"  
"Yes." she looked at him, laughing this time at the novel notion.  
"And shoulders? And necks?"  
"Yes, y-"  
"Never had your throat kissed?"  
"I've never had anything..."  
"It's not so bad." spoke Loki with a contemplative tone, tilting his head to consider the lean column on which her head was poised. "Do you think you'd like it?"  
"I couldn't say."

He unabashedly took that as an invitation to test it and planted his lips against her throat with guarded enthusiasm. He could feel the blood rushing beneath her skin, and a small gasp she took, and he deliberately made a little bite to see if she'd moan. She winced instead, and he could feel the small sound like a murmur against his mouth. Loki could appreciate her distinctive scent again, the sweetness with now a touch of salt and that decisively warm feeling to it. He could only compare it to the tenderness of baby animals.

"Well?" he asked against her skin, lifting his lips only a fraction from her. "Did you like it?"  
"I don't know..." the girl answered in a daze.  
Loki chose to see it as a challenge. He wasn't a famous or enthusiastic lover of the Asgardian court - he left that to vapid things like Fandral - but something in him insisted he conquer her pleasure in spite of all the circumstances of life that stood uniquely against them, and thus in a way nobody else could possibly manage - except for maybe Thor of course, but he cursed the disgusting thought out of his head immediately. '_Thor could never love her the way I do._' he thought drunkenly.

His mouth moved once more against her throat, deeper now underneath her dangling earrings and moving toward her soft hair beneath which her skin was even warmer and more delicate. Loki tried to contain the devouring quality of his kisses, but even at his most gentle he noticed with despair that he was close to scaring her off. His arm coiled more tightly against her tiny waist and her hands grabbed him in fright, but soon enough she wasn't trying to protect herself anymore. Instead, Avildis started kneading his arms in silent and distracted ecstasy and tilted her head as if to better direct his lips. Her heavy braids slipped from her shoulders.

Loki well understood what she was giving him as she exposed her throat, and he was quick to give her what she wanted in return. His mouth moved to the bent hardness at the middle of her neck, then went lower to the hollow of her throat while his one hand toyed with the laces of her dress to expose more skin. The girl's head snapped back up at this, but he soothed her with a whisper, his eyes still closed: "Just kissing, Ava. Nothing more, I promise." and he went back to pecking at her paled skin and try with devious small bites to get her to make that sound again.  
He couldn't feel her relax again though, but Loki couldn't bring himself to care. He was already regretting the promise anyway. The lower he went, the more he thought he could feel her breasts press against his chest, straining taut against her dress and her own skin. Trying his luck, Loki lifted a hand up her body as if to reach for her throat and, in passing, brushed over the swollen tip of her covered breast. The girl mewed as if hurt, and he couldn't think it was possible to feel more satisfaction and frustration at the same time.  
Looking down between them Avildis blushed at the realisation of how wanton she must have sounded, and closed her lips and eyes firmly determined to not make another sound.

The situation was hopeless. Loki had to stop there if he was going to stop at all. As he lifted his mouth from her neck and what little of her chest he had allowed himself, his heaving breath fanned over her warm skin pattered with faint wetness. He was in horrible pain and high delight at the same time, and for the first time in all his life he felt the risk of self-compromise, and recoiled from it.

The girl opened her weary eyes to look at him, somewhat fearfully but mostly with regret. Loki raised his head to say something, suddenly feeling afraid too of her rejection at, maybe, the thought that _he_ had rejected _her_ - he thought it perfectly within Avildis to strike back in that way when shunned. He was instead met with a pair of almost reddened eyes.  
"Did I hurt you?" Loki asked with a strangled, small voice.  
"What? Oh, no..." she whispered. "I'm just tired, that's all."  
"You should go back to your room." nodded the prince as he forced out a smile. "It's been a long day."  
She smiled too and gracefully accepted his call for her to leave.

With almost pained movements, Avildis got off the bed and started straightening her dress, holding on to the front instead of lacing it back up however, while Loki stood rooted to the bed and tried to calm himself.  
Standing in the doorway, the girl turned once more to smile at him before she slipped out, looking again entirely innocent and somewhat lost in the whole thing.  
Loki couldn't find it in himself to be anything other than relieved at her departure, and he crashed on the bed with a groan the second the door closed.


	5. Moving temple

**Finally some smut! Disjointed and interrupted, but what the hell.**

**Oh, and the chapter after this one is going to be made up entirely of smut. All of it.**

******Enjoy!**

* * *

He was back in that dark and quiet part of the kitchens in the middle of the night, a million fantasies running through his head while he thrust relentlessly in the throat of the little substitute. They were hidden in a corner and the girl had to hold onto the base of his cock to keep him from shoving it too deeply and roughly in her mouth, squeezing her fist tightly like she knew he'd like it. Loki had to brace himself against the wall, his forehead resting against his tense arm, his eyes tightly shut.

He comforted himself with so many scenarios since he had last seen Avildis, all of them impossible but no less delicious for it. He imagined himself in the Asgardian army, in some war of Thor's - maybe even the one they were going to trick him into, if it suddenly turned real - invading another realm and conquering its cities. Reaching the palace as the warriors were plundering it, he'd find its lone and lonely daughter in the form of his Avildis, a stranger to him in his dream. Her brothers would have been slain and the king taken captive. And he, the younger but no lesser prince of Asgard, would drag her to an exotically sumptuous room, the zenith of comfort in her alien world's architecture. And he'd strip her bare - though she'd fight him, to make it more fun - and still with most of his armour on he would restrain her on the bed and take her passionately and bloodily amid her aching screams and embarrassed cries. Loki imagined himself thrusting into her softness and warmth with the same violence with which he now took the girl beneath him, but in his dream Avildis would be free to make the most delicious sounds: now of pain, now of surprise, but soon melting against her will into the most broken and lost whines of pleasure. Her arms would be held above her head - either by his hands or bindings, he didn't care - but her legs would be free to spread themselves wider and then wrap around his waist, the warmth of her thighs sending shivers of pleasure where they touched the bare skin of his middle.

Loki whispered words of nonsense into his arm, lost completely in his head, in the lovely girl - what would she like to hear, he briefly wondered? Would she like to hear him speak at all? He knew what _he_ would like to say... He wanted to curse her obvious wantonness and profess his love of her and of her sweet voice and the small breasts that rose to brush against his armour, and of her so warm and wet and small cunt that clung to his skin. He wanted to hear her cry and ask him to stop and beg him for more and tell him to tell _her_ what he wanted.

Then his fantasy shifted to the night when her lips had woken in him that affection he'd never suspected, but in this dream he didn't stop and didn't let her leave. He kept her there and kissed her way beyond what she permitted, and held her against his bed while, under her panicked eyes, he unlaced the rest of her dress with one hand and rose her skirts with the other. His lips would wrap themselves around the tip of her breast while he placed himself between her legs and unfastened his trousers, his teeth slightly biting the swollen nipple and holding it still while his tongue flicked back and forth in the faintest, most teasing way. Sweet little Avildis, her back arching up, would be caught in a frightened moan when he pushed himself inside her and she'd immediately cry - maybe even cry his name - and claw at his shoulders and look down between them as his hardened cock struggled to fit in the slit she had kept chaste just for him. Her cries would become louder and more pained the deeper he went, but she would never tell him to stop - not articulately - because she enjoyed the feeling of being filled, especially by him. By him and none other.

Loki's features twitched in a wicked smile as he conceived another fetish he wanted to try on her - if he would ever get to. This time she would be coming to him, for whatever reason (maybe she wanted to seduce a boy, or maybe she was just curious, or maybe she wanted to seduce _him_) and she'd ask about the 'feminine body'. And he'd have her rest over him, her back on his chest with them reclining in his bed; she would wear the sheerest nightgown imaginable and her naked bottom would rub sweetly against his front as she settled herself for his lesson. And Loki would take her trembling right hand in his and bring it to the apex of her thighs, and his fingers and hers would find her soaking wet and so smooth and tender, and he would help Avildis find her shy clit that throbbed with blood and frustration. Under his encouragement she'd begin to rub it slowly at first then faster as he brought his fingers, coated with her juices, up to the tight bundle of nerves and make it slippery for her.  
Loki wouldn't dare imagine what sounds she would make as she pleasured herself in his arms, but he liked to think she would arch her back more, and press into his clothed cock, and with her head on his shoulder she would look longingly at him and part her lips in a silent plea for a kiss. In this dream he chose to be a sadist and deny her as she had denied him most of what he wanted the week before, but Loki though that were it reality he couldn't have resisted her.

He wished he could take the time to finish the fantasy and make his dream-girl bring herself to climax, but his own pleasure was becoming so absolute he had to stop his thoughts and focus on thrusting harder and fast enough to finally end that nightmare of a reality, so that he could go to his room and dream some more. His hand went of its own accord to the head of the girl beneath him and he pushed her face quite mercilessly closer to him, then with a strangled moan and a few more thrusts Loki finally released in her mouth.  
Panting and almost dizzy, he removed himself from the creature and shakily started to put himself together. The girl too got up, a little startled herself.  
As they moved into the choleric light of a lamp, Loki was surprised to hear her squeak a hoarse question. "Does... Is my hair darker?!"  
His eyes jumped at the locks she was twisting in her grimy fingers. While it had kept its ringlets, it indeed looked conspicuously like someone else's hair in colour: down to looking dull blonde when directly under golden candle light, as black as his when in shadow, and chocolatey the rest of the time. Loki looked away in an unexpected rush of chagrin. He chastised her for talking such nonsense while discretely making her hair turn back to normal.

* * *

In her room, Avildis had been staring at the ceiling for the past half hour. The lute had finished its repertoire long ago, but she didn't feel like rewinding it so the room was gripped in silence as well as a demure sort of darkness. Her fingers fiddled over her stomach.  
She had last seen Loki a week ago and not only was she beginning to miss him terribly, but she was afraid he'd take her seclusion for something else. Her right hand gripped the left in a painful but oddly comforting clutch. The girl would have felt better if he were gripping it instead.

She flopped on her front and buried her face in the pillows. Her right hand started, for the billionth time that day, a slow crawl down her stomach and to the mound underneath, but as soon as she felt the tingling the slightest touch brought, her hand jumped away. She couldn't bring herself to do it, and she wasn't even sure what it was.

* * *

The habit of getting post-orgasmic depressions was getting tiring. Loki stormed through the long palace corridors that separated his room from the kitchens in a bid to calm himself down. He'd always liked walking, especially at night when it was cooler and quiet and the only persons around were scarce guards at their stations. But the feeling followed him around as surely as his shadow and he couldn't shake the melancholy.

Loki was woken from his self-pity when he focused on the door to his room and saw a figure there, hovering about anxiously as if the floor burnt its feet. With a rush to his heart, he understood it had to be Avildis and he quickened his pace to a near-run. The figure heard him approaching and looked up - and indeed it was she, dressed in a midnight blue robe and no slippers, her hair a shawl around her bony shoulders. The girl smiled brightly the closer he got and then was torturing whispers of apology when he stopped beside her, but Loki bid her to be quiet with the briefest movement and opened the door to her.

"Where've you been?" Avildis asked, still whispering. She wasn't in the habit of going out at night, and the whole act felt very clandestine to her.  
"Walking, about... What are you doing here?"  
"Oh I hope you don't mind, I was so afraid you'd be asleep when you didn't answer and I was just about to go back when-"  
"I don't mind." he reassured her with an uncharacteristically sweet smile. She didn't seem convinced, her face spelling worry across every feature, and Loki eventually took her kneading hands in his and dragged her with him to the bed once more. "What's wrong, little darling?" For a moment he was afraid she'd resent what he just called her and he wanted to smack himself, but her resentment never came.

"I wanted to ask you something." Avildis stated firmly, as if she'd rehearsed it.  
"Anything."  
"I wondered if you could... do that thing, for me, hide me from Heimdall. Just for a while! A short while, on some days..." She was immediately distraught at how he seemed to recoil from her. "You could do it, couldn't you? It wouldn't be very difficult? Well if it is, that's all right. I don't mind... I just... wanted to ask you."  
"Why do you want to hide from him?"  
"Why do _you_?"  
"Trick question?"  
"You just don't like that he could be spying on anyone, do you? It isn't fair that he should do it, anyway... all the time, like that."  
"He does insure the safety of the realm."  
"We're in no danger though! And I wouldn't be doing anything bad. How could I?" she laughed at herself. "I just don't like him seeing everything. You understand, don't you?"  
"Better than you think. But what is it that you suddenly have to hide, when you've gone on perfectly well without hiding until now?" Loki had already guessed what is was, but pulling her tail for a while longer promised to be fun.  
"It doesn't matter, I just-"  
"It matters a great deal. I can't hide something without knowing what it is I'm hiding."  
"Do you honestly think I'd be a traitor?" the girl asked with genuine hurt.  
"Of course not. But that doesn't change the fact that I wouldn't know why I'm supposed to be hiding you. And presuming something _did_ happen, and Heimdall didn't know what it was, I would be forced by circumstances to be suspicious of you, and I don't want that." Avildis was looking positively devastated. He kind of liked it. "Come, just tell me. It can't be that awful anyway."  
"It's none of your business." she pouted.  
"You're making it very much my business."  
"Fine, then. Forget I ever asked..."

She got up to leave, to her discontent and to Loki's near-despair. He jumped to catch her and held her to the spot.  
"Just tell me. I want to help you very much, but just tell me." he pleaded.  
"No..." the girl struggled, both with him _and_ herself as she didn't so much as dare look at his face.  
"I won't tell anyone, Ava, whatever it is, I swear on my life."  
"It's not that. I mean it is that too, but..."  
"What? What is it?" She held onto her modesty obstinately. "What do you want to do?"  
"Why do you care so much?"  
"Because I want to help you."  
"Then leave me alone!"  
"Do you want to touch yourself?" Her denials were stuck in her throat, and the girl was left to stare at him and slowly shake her head, her lips parted in shock and shame. "Is that it?" Loki pressed as a smirk grew thinly on his lips. "Because if it is, that's nothing to be ashamed of."  
"Of course it is! Sh-shameful, I mean. How dare you suggest..."  
"But that's what it is, isn't it?"  
"No, no..."  
"You're a terrible liar, but adorable." the prince laughed as he shook his head at her. "And I will help you."  
"What...?"  
"I'll do it. I'll hide you. Well, I was already hiding us. Come on back to the bed and maybe we'll be finished before morning."  
"No! Stop pulling..."  
"What now?"  
"I can't let you- Damn you, yes, fine, that's what it is. But you don't have to see!"  
"Of course I do." answered Loki as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "As I said, I can't hide you without knowing what I'm hiding. You could tell me you did one thing and do something else entirely, and I could not honourably do that. Magic, after all, needs to be used responsibly."  
"I'm not letting you see!"  
"Why not, though? I thought you trusted me..."  
"I do, I just..." Avildis didn't know what words to use, and Loki used her dazed state to inch her closer to his bed. "I don't want you to laugh at me." she eventually confessed with so small a voice he almost didn't hear her. He wanted to laugh at that very thought.  
"Ava..." her brother started with a note of incredulity. "If I have any reaction, it certainly won't be laughter. That, I can guarantee you."  
"Disgust?" she worried.  
"Decidedly not. And I feel a little hurt that you'd think that of me or of yourself."  
"Still though, why do you have to..."  
"Partly for my peace of mind. Partly because I want to." Her eyes widened a fraction, and by now they were on the edge of the notorious bed. "And be honest, who would you rather watch you play with yourself: me, or someone else?" Avildis felt almost her whole body's blood go to her face.  
"I have a request, then."  
"Name it." offered Loki with nevertheless a suspicious sentiment. He didn't like how she seemed to recoil from him and had wrapped her arms tightly around herself.  
"I wish to remain clothed."  
So he couldn't actually see anything. He could accept that, especially if it was to be the first evening of many.  
"Agreed. Hop on."

Avildis crawled on the soft mattress and rested her back against the wall of pillows. She was covering herself with his blankets and pondering how she was going to even do the thing when she heard Loki fiendishly add: "On one condition."


	6. Icing sugar

"I'm not so sure about this."  
"Stop being such a baby..."  
"Well damn you inside and out! I've changed my mind. Let me go. Let me go right no-"  
"No no no, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

Loki had to hold onto the girl to keep her from bolting from the bed. He had just managed to get her to the position he'd dreamed about - on his chest, on her back, in his bed. Granted although she had discarded her robe and he his coat and boots, she was still clothed in a white nightgown with a wonderfully low neckline but which was otherwise defyingly opaque and so long it reached the floor. And he still wore his tunic and very confining trousers. And she was covered up to her chest with his blanket. Details. He could feel her across the layers of clothing all the way down his front, and his legs were parted to accommodate her (and himself). Avildis was incredibly stiff and almost shaking with anxiety. He could tell she regretted every part of this and was probably not sure how she'd allowed it to happen. He wouldn't relent that easily though, and with a little push, a little shove, a few promises (that he even intended to keep) he'd got her that far. Now he got to play teacher in love.

"So, how much do you know?" he started as his hand slithered down her front.  
"No touching!"  
"Oh, right. My apologies."  
"I know enough. Are you sure we-"  
"Yes we should. Well, get it over with. I'll just lie here... making sure you don't do something else."

Loki was bad at playing disinterested. His fingers drummed on the sheets beside them and his eyes didn't leave her form - what little of it he could make out.  
"You're going to have to spread your legs, by the way."  
"Shut up and leave it to me."  
With a deep breath, and a few more deep breaths for good measure - "Stop stalling." "Shush!" - Avildis slipped her hand straight under the covers and lifted her nightgown enough to slip her hand inside. She closed her eyes, trying both to shut out where she was and who she was with.

She knew what feelings she got when she brushed against her mound, especially when she bathed, and when she had been little she once explored that area very bravely and seriously - though she had somehow concluded that there were four holes there, and didn't correct the information until she read anatomy in early adolescence.

Her fingers slipped over the folds of flesh and dipped tentatively in the warm crevice, but the feeling was unremarkable. Moving her fingers slightly higher, she found what she figured to be the thing intended for pleasure. Her middle finger circled it, rubbed against it, pushed it, but although there was a mild burning it still felt desperately underwhelming.

"What's wrong?" asked Loki softly when he saw her sighing and frustrated.  
"Nothing... I just thought it would feel better."  
Of all the things he expected from her, that wasn't it. "Are you sure you're doing it right?"  
"Yes... No."  
"Do you want me to help?"  
"No!"  
Loki felt terribly sorry at that, but couldn't help a wry smile anyway.

"Good grief, this almost hurts. I'm stopping."  
"No, don't." he let out before he could even think. Then he thought about it, and still decided he couldn't let her leave like that.  
"I'm not letting you-"  
"Spread your legs." he said, then when he saw she wasn't even moving ordered "Just do as I say!"  
The prince sighed at his outburst, but if that got her going it would be worth it and she'd forgive him by the morning.

Too frightened to argue, Avildis parted her legs the slightest bit before Loki used his hands to open them further and place them over his bent knees. With his long legs keeping her in place, she was spread as widely as she could be without slipping down on the bed. In an odd show of chivalry, Loki had kept his word and neither undressed her nor lowered the blanket. He seemed, however, determined on touching her.  
His hand went as a warning first to the inside of her thigh, and with his lips by her cheek, her head on his shoulder, he shushed the worries he knew she was forming. He kept his eyes closed as if playing at being perfectly harmless, while the girl looked nervously at the valley that formed in the material that covered their legs. She could barely tell the outline of his arm, where it moved against her leg and slowly towards them.

Loki's fingers were frighteningly cold but her thighs were feverish, and the higher his fingers went the warmer she was. He eventually reached her parted folds. Avildis' breath hitched and she held it in, but to his delight she made no move to stop him. His fingers gained courage and explored more of the surface reluctantly available to him - but nevertheless to him alone. She was as warm and soft and smooth as he could ever dream, and to his amazement wetter than he thought imaginable. Had he done that to her, or was it from her earlier attempts? He told himself it was the former...

Moving his fingers to her opening he was met with an even more lush feeling, and he used to opportunity to wet the tips of his fingers before he drew them higher.  
Technically Loki had never done this before either, although he prided himself in being well read and even in having concluded some rather advanced magical experiments in the area - mostly for cheap thrills, but they came in handy now.  
Remarkably close to her opening, he found the little bundle of desire. As soon as his finger flitted over it, Avildis sighed and made a small sound of something like pain.  
"What is that?" she asked.  
"This is what you should have been doing, silly girl." mumbled Loki as he started to rub her.  
"I was touching something else..." she whispered in a daze.  
"Obviously."

She was no longer stiff over him, and her back arched and her head moved away and he could tell she was biting her lip to keep from crying out. He sped his touch immediately at that, and as predicted her face turned back to his and she protested pitifully.  
"Stop that. No! Let me do it." Avildis pleaded.

He relented and took her spidery finger straight where she needed it. He had readied it enough, so now all she had to do was find a pace she was happy with. Loki kept his fingers over hers anyway though, and his eyes moved from her face so close yet seemingly oblivious to him, to the small bounce of the covers. Soon enough she was gasping and tilting her head back on his shoulder and spreading her legs wider of her own accord. She didn't dare moan, though Loki could distinguish definite moments when she wanted to, and he felt terribly sorry now that he had insisted on holding her as part of their deal - perhaps, he thought, if he were away she would be less intimidated.

The girl's fingers started moving faster and after a few long minutes her chest rose and her bottom ground into his front, just like in the dream, and Loki could tell from the look on her face that she was close to her finish. Avildis felt her legs shivering and a fire licking its way under her skin and it terrified her how suddenly and violently it came. And then she stopped.  
"What are you doing?!"  
"I can't..." she cried. "I was shaking, and I couldn't stop it! What was that? Is that normal...?"

He would have found her endearing if she weren't so exasperating. With his left hand Loki coaxed her face to him and petted her hair and her cheek and her neck and tried every way he could to be comforting. The girl seemed more afraid of her reaction to her own actions than to the hardness that she undoubtedly must have felt against her lower back.  
"There's nothing to be afraid of." he cooed. But she was still shaking her head and biting her lip and looking at him with big, pleading eyes, asking to be let go.

But he refused to let her go; slipping his hand underneath hers, Loki started to caress her again while with his left arm he held her firmly against him. Shaken and alarmed, the girl tried to plead with him anew but the words hardly reached him. He exchanged the soft pad with a fingernail and her pleas were broken by moans the sort he wanted to hear. Avildis gripped the arm that was dragging her to ecstasy but she couldn't bring herself to pull it away - not that she could have, as Loki showed the sort of determination that ages of restraint taught. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were sharply focused as if they could see or vividly imagine what her flesh looked like between his fingers.  
When he went back to caressing her more softly, the girl finally got her voice back and returned to begging him with breathless words to please please please stop and let her go.  
"That's not what I'm hearing. I hear a demand of quite a different kind." spoke Loki with a voice at once innocent and malefic, and Avildis realised with crushing shame what sounds he was referring to.

Her left hand rose to grip his shoulder as both leverage and an attempt to hurt him, but her claws had almost the opposite effect, and her right arm left his to brace against the headboard. The girl hid her face in her bent arm, her teeth nipping the soft flesh of the bicep in an attempt to remain quiet. If it was a bid to spite Loki with silence, he never even realised it in his delight of the flesh newly exposed to him. Avildis arched her back even further and held a breath, and her impromptu lover nearly forgot to keep stroking her when the nightgown was stretched to uncover her right breast for a moment before she let herself fall back down and breathed again. His keen eyes flitted from her chest to her turned face and back again. His fingers quickened and distanced themselves from her raw flesh the slightest bit to give her an agonizing feeling of teasing and it had, as he had hoped, the effect of getting her to unwittingly expose herself again.  
As the material brushed over the sensitive skin, Loki could tell it excited the neglected skin so much so that he could now see a point hardening. Removing his left hand from where it gripped the covers, he slipped it under the front of the girl's gown and gripped her breast. Avildis turned her head back to him in shock but turned away again with a whine when his fingers found its tip and started flicking over it in something resembling a tickle with the same rhythm with which his other fingers were working, and with similar constancy.

She started to complain again, but Loki couldn't imagine why. He could practically feel desire running through his veins like sugar mixed with blood and the only rational thought he could afford at that moment was that if he were made to bleed it would probably smell exactly like her. He nuzzled the underside of her jaw and murmured inquisitively at her tortured sounds while his lips suckled whatever part of her they could reach.  
"Stop that!" she moaned after a few more minutes.  
"Stop what?" Loki asked drunkenly in-between kisses. She responded by trying to knock his hand from her chest with the elbow, but all it did was squeeze her breast more fully towards him.  
"That's enough, please, leave it alone." Avildis whispered in a breath.  
Loki considered for a moment that maybe he should also focus on the other breast, but then, it couldn't hurt her quite that much. And the nails in his clothed shoulder - tightening their grip, as they were - showed a little ache went a long way.  
"You'll get used to it." he coldly answered against her throat.

He went on like that for a while longer, the girl struggling but still not daring to get away from him. It would have been, after all, absurd if she were enjoying herself less than he was. Loki was numbly aware that he had never in his life been in more pain in his nether regions, but Avildis' pleasure - all too obvious in spite of herself - made stopping, for any reason, impossible to him. Soon enough she made no more attempts to quiet herself. The cries that slipped from her mouth and her lips echoed louder in his room the closer she got to her zenith, and hers was the most delightful voice Loki had ever heard. Her moans had an actual tremble to them that reflected the shivers of her frustrated womanhood.

"Don't be afraid." the green-eyed god whispered to the panicked girl in his arms. "Let go. Don't be afraid."  
Avildis looked at him for the first time in a long while before closing her eyes again as if in concentration, and then her head fell back on his shoulders and she bit her lip, her chest rising and legs moving as if to close themselves. But they stayed parted as she drew her hand off the headboard and onto her throat in a spontaneous caress, and opened her mouth to let out a few final whimpers of ecstasy. Her hips started to languidly cant against his fingers only then, although she had finished herself, and with her eyes still closed Loki would have thought she was moving in her sleep.  
The girl's head fell lazily to the left, tongue slipping out to lick her lips deliciously, and finally Avildis opened her eyes to look at him.  
Loki was too bewildered to kiss her, although in the back of his mind he was aware of the irony that only a few hours ago he would have thought such a thing impossible in this exact circumstance. Yet faced with the act - and with her - he was once again afraid of scaring her off, especially after how nearly-brutally he had just treated her. Avildis, however, seemed to have forgotten completely. She looked at him if not with love, at least with gratitude, though the growing blush on her cheeks suggested a lingering shame as well.

"I..." started he, not quite sure how to finish.  
"Loki..." the girl whispered, but the sound was lost under his rushed words.  
"-I'll be right back."

He gently removed himself from underneath her, both for her benefit and his own, and took a final look at the girl as she got herself together and straightened the gown over her bruised chest, after which Loki made straight for the washroom.

* * *

**What did I say? Just smut, the whole thing.**

**Problem: after I wrote this chapter, I checked the rating descriptions again and my reaction was a mix of "oooops" and "oh shit my ass is gon' get banned."**

**Needless to say it had gone off the deep end, so I rephrased parts of it and made it milder, and hopefully I won't get in trouble. ****What you have here is therefore chapter se- er, six 2.0. If you want the original in all its graphic glory (though there doesn't yet have to be a great deal of difference), you can find it on AFF via **g o o.g l /rK9rN** (I love shortened urls: just paste that in the address bar, take away the spaces, hit enter and you'll be taken to the full link; lemme know if you have trouble with it).**

**Given the differences will be only of an aphrodisiac nature and therefore superficial, I can't presume to imply anyone will care for the original versions that much. So if any of you guys will want to know when the chapter will be an edited version, tell me and I'll be sure to mention it in future chapters as well. If not, carry on :) I'll write the full versions anyway, because for the first time in a long while I find I'm enjoying writing.**

**And last but not least, thank you for the kind comments and follows =D Moar!**


	7. As ancient rocks are turning

**Ask and ye shall receive. *salutes paradoxicalforger and molescout* There's only smut at the beginning of this chapter anyway. The full version is at **g o o.g l /0sgcG. **Thank you again for the comments, and I'm glad you guys are enjoying it =D****  
**

**And yes, I do write him younger than he is in most fics! I'm happy it shows. I wanted to portray him the way he seemed at the beginning of _Thor_, including in the deleted scenes: Heimdall yells at him to stfu, servants laugh at him, Thor tells him to know his place, Odin growls at him. It's easy to tell he isn't taken very seriously, and it still shows after he is made king when Volstagg literally can't talk to him with a straight face. Loki even _looks_ very young, especially compared to what he's like later in _Avengers_. He just looks like someone's kid brother, which he is of course. His vanity and cruelty start showing progressively as the movie goes on, and hopefully I'll be able to reflect that here when it comes to it.**

**I think I should give a bit of trivia at this point, because it might help that bit make more sense - and I can't explain it within the narrative, so here goes. Loki's feeling blue (pun intended) after 'gasms. It's going to keep happening, as it has been so far, and this thing actually has a name: post-coital tristesse, literally after-sex sadness. As per wiki, it is "a feeling of melancholy after sexual intercourse [...] more common in men than in women." I could explain the neuropsychology of it, but I won't get into jargon. I just added it for the lulz, because I like him all messed up.  
**

**I do get the feeling that I might be writing him a bit too pathetic, so don't be afraid to critique about that, people :) Or, anything else I'm doing wrong.**

**Anyway, thank you for reading and enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

The door shut with a restrained thud and the lights went on in the washroom. Loki immediately went to the furthest wall, braced against the stone, and as he was moving to undo his trousers he noticed that his hand was still ivory full of his darling. From the wrinkled tips of his fingers to the heel of the palm, the sticky-sweet evidence made him at once smugly happy and regretful of what he had just missed under the covers.

The young god went on with undressing himself and as soon as his aching flesh was met with the outer coldness, he wrapped it in his still-warm hand - _her_ warmth - and started moving the fist up and down, slowly at first, then ravenously while his memory of her was still tangible. Loki closed his eyes to imagine her again, a twitch jumping on his face as his fingers moved against the length, his grip tight to better resemble her.

His lean hips thrust against the rhythm of his hand and he went faster still, holding his breath so as not to make a sound, all of this to at least try to cover his lust-stained tracks. Loki wasn't yet sure how he felt about her thinking he let himself be so violently affected by her, so if Avildis was going to guess he hid in order to enjoy her from a distance, she might at least have cause to doubt.

A worried pair of green eyes peeked back, towards the door, then down at himself, then cringed and looked away. How could this feel so beatific when she did it but so profane when it came to himself? Loki refused to stop nevertheless, and instead tried to focus on milder scenarios Avildis featured in, with her slender throat and her long hair and the feline outline of her cheek. But this had the effect of only worsening his shame, and in the end Loki decided to simply coax an orgasm as quickly and dryly as possible and be done with it.

* * *

He inevitably let slip a strangled cry as he finished, then immediately looked towards the door again, as if she was going to walk in and catch him. But the room was deathly silent, and that too was cause for fear in a way.  
Loki sighed and caught his breath, laced his trousers back quite tightly, then shed the incredibly hot tunic off his back and threw it in a basket for the laundry maids. He washed his hands. He washed his face. He finished his nightly routine and was just brushing his hair back with his fingers when, faced with the door, he froze and cursed himself at throwing the tunic away with the rest of the dirty clothes.  
Could he face her so undressed? Would she be afraid? Would she like him? Was he likable? He looked in the mirror to his right and judged himself, comparing the image to Thor and his friends.

No, it was hopeless in that way. But then, she wouldn't be perceptive to attempts at being impressed anyway, would she?  
His thoughts were getting too complicated, a sign that melancholy was chewing at his heels again, as it always did after moments like that.  
Loki cracked open the door, ready to summon a new shirt to cover himself with if need be, but it turned out it would not. Stepping into the dark room, he saw a bundle of angles and limbs curled under the covers. The prince stepped softly closer and leaned over the bed. Avildis seemed asleep, but as soon as she felt the bed dip her head turned slightly, her eyes still closed, and mumbled something about not leaving. The tender thing wanted to sleep there, Loki realised with a smile.

She was snuggled as tightly as could be, with her knees reaching her chest and her hands curled under her chin, her head bowed and her eyes covered in wires of wild hair. Her tiny feet, pink soled, peeked out from the covers and her brother could espy a hint of smooth white legs before they disappeared under the blanket. Tilting his head, Loki had to admire how the dip in her waist accentuated the hips that had seemed very boyish under her dresses. But she wasn't boyish at all. For all her unpalatable bearing, Avildis seemed to have been cultivating her charms with dedication - which was surprising in a girl that had perhaps never expected to be seen.

Or hadn't she? he wondered as he unabashedly but still very stiffly settled in bed next to her - it was his bed, after all.  
Maybe she was hoping for..._ 'Idiot, of course she does. How old is she? Of course she's waiting to meet... people.'_  
He fidgeted a bit in bed until he found a distance that was respectable enough but would be easy to close as if by accident; and, his sleek black head turned away from her, he kept brooding himself to sleep.  
_'She plays the part of the sexless recluse well enough, but the court is filled with men who would suit her. Whom she would suit...'_ Loki buried his face in the pillow to stifle a groan. He'd tried, albeit half heartedly, to give her a new companion. Njord wasn't even as brutish as she thought, and not half as brutish as some of the other warriors. But Loki didn't think he could attempt that again, especially not now. The logical part of him knew he had to before something terrible happened, but the needy child would not let her go again.

* * *

Avildis opened her eyes. There was a horrible amount of light all around her, which was unacceptable in the morning. Focusing on where she was, the girl remembered that this was Loki's room. It must have been, though she had never seen at its contents very clearly before. She noticed vaguely a desk to the wall, next to the drawn curtains, and a view of the sea beyond. She closed her eyes again.

Slipping between sleep and wakefulness, she felt someone bother her. Then she heard Loki's smooth laughter. Avildis covered her head with her arms, but he kept trying to shake her awake. It was gentle, but he was still annoying.  
"Wake up, my ray of addled sunshine."  
"Go away."  
"I'm all dressed and it's getting late. Come on, let's go into breakfast together."  
"No." she mumbled and buried her head deeper into her arms, her arms into the pillows and her legs curled even more into her. Loki noted with a slight pang to his heart that although almost playful in her petulance, she resembled someone afraid of being struck.  
"I've even brought you a dress to wear." he offered. "And there's some slippers I think will fit you. You should start having breakfast in the hall with everyone..."  
"My dress?" she jumped. "What dress? Where?"  
"I had it brought up..."  
"What?!"  
"Don't worry." he shushed the wild girl with understanding. "I used a very discrete maid. She won't tell anyone. It was one of the dresses you had sent for washing. It was ready today..."  
Avildis flopped back down on the bed and turned away from him with a sigh of frustration. This time she grabbed the covers and buried herself.  
"Which dress is it?" she asked from underneath.  
"It's, er..." Loki looked at the limp material, hanging on a chair. "A red... ish, purple sort of thing."  
"The fuchsia."  
"Yes." he smiled, trying to find a trace of her now under the brown hair and off-white blanket of his bed. "It's beautiful."  
She gave him nothing. Loki tried to nudge her again, but Avildis just ignored him.

* * *

When she woke up again, she was blissfully alone. On the table next to her side of the bed she found a little plate with pastries and berries, and a small glass of milk. The girl's tired face softened into the most delighted smile: Loki must've smuggled those things from the breakfast table for her. It was undoubtedly no challenge for him, but it was the thought that warmed her.  
Avildis seized upon the milk and drank it in one go. Plopped on the edge of the bed, she looked around at the chamber. It was much larger than hers, and the walls were a darker shade. His bed was the shade of vanilla, and the furniture looked old but quite clean. There were several bookcases along the walls, some of them neatly organised, others messy. There were books in a corner on the floor. There were books on the table on the other side of the bed. There were lamps here and there, big and round and now shut off. There was a huge wardrobe and a tall and wide mirror, and daggers on a chest of drawers.

Slowly she got up and picked a few berries in her hand to eat while she walked about. The room didn't seem to smell of anything other than wax and leather, or metal, and a hint of burnt wood.  
She opened the door on the left wall and peeked inside. It was the washroom. Avildis didn't think he'd like her using such a physically particular part of his chambers, so she left it as it was and made to dress herself in the gown he'd brought. She didn't want to wonder where he was. She tried not to think of him at all.

* * *

When Loki went to tempt her to lunch at least, he found the room empty. The dress was gone along with her, of course, as was her blue robe. A few dried crumbs of cake were left, mostly from the edges where there was no filling, and there was a sheen of milk on the bottom of the glass - the only signs that she had been there at all.  
It was maybe better this way.

The prince threw his coat off and leaned back in a stuffed armchair. He hadn't been able to relax all day. First, he'd been afraid that someone might find her in his room while he was away. Then he feared someone might see her from the outside if she stepped onto the balcony for the view - Loki thought she'd like his view, because it was probably better than hers.  
He wanted to leave as soon as breakfast was done, but Thor talked him into joining him and the warriors three for archery that morning - it was the one exercise Loki was better at than any of them, which they confessed not without letting slip a few snide jabs. Sif decided to be absent from the entire thing.

Loki couldn't blame her. He didn't enjoy her company either. He was even a little envious, because while she could say no to Thor, Loki himself either could not bring himself to, or was too afraid of facing the alternative.

* * *

He looked up from his brooding when his brother beckoned him to challenge his shot.

"You always aim too high." Loki commented as he got up and picked a bow with little appetite.  
"And you, too low." teased Thor, following his sibling's exercise attentively, then grinned when Loki's arrow hit the bullseye. "But it seems to suit you well, brother." and he slapped him on the shoulder as if he were the instructor and Loki the pupil.  
"Don't try to be bitter. You're bad at it."

"_Is_ Thor the bitter one today?" asked Volstagg from atop a stone he dwarfed.  
"Quite. You seem out of sorts, Loki." commented Fandral without turning. He was trying to decide which bow he liked better.  
"I miss lady Sif's charming company." he quipped. There was no danger in the joke, because all those around knew how irreparable things were between them. Both Loki and Sif were the sort to hold grudges.  
"Poor Sif." chuckled Fandral.  
"Yes, I've been meaning to see if I can manage red hair."  
"Try it on Volstagg." Thor joked, and the younger prince and their corpulent friend both laughed as Volstagg twirled a bloody-shaded curl of his beard.

* * *

Never before had writing a note seemed like such an agonizing task - not since he was learning how to write, at least. Loki was in his most leisurely attire, his room had a soothing ambiance, the fire was burning proudly in the lamps, the sunset outside was quite lovely, and he had a reason to use his favourite pen - a slender silver, ornate instrument he had received from their mother a few anniversaries ago. It had the air of a weapon; sharp at both ends, it seemed quite dangerous. In the right hands - including his own - it most definitely would be.

He twirled it in his fingers. He leaned back in the chair. He scribbled random drawings, he erased them with a wave, he tried to start to write - but the pen lingered in a spot and soon all Loki had made was a thick spot of ink.

Minutes dragged on. Loki stared at the wall. He leaned back and stared at the vanishing sunset.  
His lean lips formed a pout that would've been better suited on his sister braced a hand on his thigh as if he were exhausted just by sitting down.

"Just _write_." he finally commanded himself as he put pen to paper with a bit too much force. "_Dear_... No, damn it, stupid stupid and so cold." Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and cringed. "'Silver tongue' indeed. Bless solitude." the prince mumbled to himself, thankful that at least nobody else could witness his spell of ineptitude. If there was one thing he enjoyed tentative admiration for, it was his fluency. Now in that way too was he rendered impotent.

* * *

The agonizing note finally made it to Avildis in the late morning hours. Loki sent it up with the woman that brought her her breakfast. It was tightly sealed in an unmarked envelope and its contents were written in black runes. The girl couldn't even read it when she realised who it was from, and she laid it aside carefully until she finished breakfast, though she kept looking at it during the long meal - she always stalled when she woke up, because she only woke up gradually and she always woke up feeling sick.

Finally, two hours after it arrived, Avildis found the courage to read it. She held the note in one trembling hand while she held the other a fist to her mouth and bit into it.

_"My darling lady_," it started, "_When you read this, I will probably have finished with breakfast so there is no use to invite you downstairs. That is all right, though I know I will miss you dearly, as I already do and have all of yesterday. Nevertheless, you must find the time for us to talk, and soon. I can ask this of you because the matter is not a trivial whim, but quite serious - though you needn't worry either, as you'll no doubt be inclined to._  
_Our dear brother has confiscated me for his afternoon training. You can find us and his troupe in the west gardens - I am sorry that I do not know in what part of them yet. That is, if you wish to find me before dinner. Do not be shy about interrupting, do not be shy at all. If, however, you can not come today, send word with a servant to let me know when and where I can see you._  
_If I do not hear from you, I will be forced to come directly to your door again, and I plan to do so at dawn. Consider this your warning. (I jest, of course. I will try a more reasonable hour.)_" Avildis was laughing, but she wasn't sure whether he meant "reasonable" for himself or for her.

"_I hope to hear from you as soon as you deign to write or, even better, to come see me._" continued the letter, then finished simply with "_Yours_.", and no name, though there didn't need to be one.

* * *

For the first hour of training, the six of them - Sif deigned to participate - engaged in more leisurely, paired combat with their usual weapons. It was good for the digestion, Thor said. Volstagg was the first to protest when the exercise only made him hungry again.  
They took a half hour break. It was a good afternoon for enjoying oneself anyway. They were around the lake, and the view was very soothing even with their practices of violence.

Although he was loathe to admit it, being around Thor and his friends had improved Loki's mood somewhat. Having to stand up to Fandral's flamboyant assaults and Sif's lean ones, which better matched his own, had also distracted the young prince from his recent concerns.

But as the second hour of training started, the group decided to exchange weapons, so Volstagg picked up a hammer while Thor confronted him with an axe. Sif had to leave eventually, which left Fandral as a sort of referee over the four. Loki was fighting Hogun, which suited him well enough because the warrior was refreshingly silent compared to the rest. But unfortunately, Hogun's typical weapon was something his opponent was the least familiar with.

"You need to brace yourself more firmly, Loki." commented Fandral from the sidelines.  
It also made it significantly more difficult to avoid blows from daggers - they were weapons that functioned entirely on agility, and maces required constancy of footing.  
"Why don't you try it then, sword master?" asked Loki, not a little annoyed, when the two took a break.  
"Do wish I could. I'm not staying for long either, though. I have a meeting with a lovely lady." grinned the rake.  
"Poor soul."  
"Well honestly, it wouldn't be quite as much of a challenge as -"  
"I meant her." quipped the prince. Fandral threw a pebble at him, but he dodged and they both laughed. Hogun just stood there, almost as if telling Loki to hurry up.

The two returned to their fighting, and the green clad god tried to slyly apply Fandral's advice. He noticed some improvement, but if Hogun didn't stop just short of hitting him, he would still have ended up wounded. Hogun eventually managed to trap the morning star between crossed daggers, the spikes not helping at all. The two struggled with one another, trying to exploit the other's footing, but none gave. As they were locked in combat, Loki heard distant chatter and for a moment thought Sif had returned, before he realised the feminine voice was lighter than hers. He didn't dare allow himself to get distracted from his fighting partner however, so his mind was left to make scenarios of its own because he had been waiting for someone too, all afternoon.

Loki and Hogun finally disentangled, but then the warrior started a vicious offensive that Loki had to defend against, and he found he was stepping backwards against the onslaught, barely managing not to trip. The prince signaled for them to stop there, and they did. He turned and looked around, but except for Thor and Volstagg there was no one there.

Retreating for a bit of rest and a bath before dinner, Loki was left alone with his thoughts. Fandral never said who his damsel of the day was, though they all tended to look the same after a while. Still, he couldn't help but wonder whether it had been Avildis. It can't have been her, of course, because she didn't even seem to like Fandral. She didn't even _know_ him. But then, where was she?  
Reaching his rooms, the prince found no note waiting either.

Dinner came and went. Nothing. Had she even received the letter, he wondered? But he decided to stop thinking about it and enjoy the company of his friends. It even gave him a pretext to stay with them until late, just in case she showed up. But when it was close to midnight and the only ones left in the dining hall were a hand full of drunks, Loki - himself a bit dazed from drink - relented and went back to his room.

* * *

He spared Avildis another morning call, and knocked at her door in early afternoon. She almost didn't answer, and when she did the girl found him looking relieved. She smiled too, albeit tiredly.  
Loki wanted her to spend the afternoon with him. She'd said she liked riding so that's what he'd planned for them, and they'd visit the river Iving, which he remembered she used to like. Then they'd ride back to the palace for a late lunch.  
The girl looked a little disheartened the more he spoke, but she accepted his invitation before his cheerfulness died completely. It broke her heart how keen he seemed on the thing.

"You should go out more often, anyway." Loki commented as they walked to the stables. "We're having a terrific summer this year, which means the autumn will be good as well. And how long is it since you've seen the -"  
"I said I'll go, and I'm going now." Avildis sighed. "I'm just a bit tired, that's all."  
"You're always tired."  
She just stared at him as they kept walking, then glared ahead as they fumed side by side. She thought he was done being hurtful.

"I hope the horse knocks you off." Avildis eventually mumbled. Loki seemed charmed by that. His brilliant smile was met with the back of her head as she chose instead to look at the wall. "You're in a disgustingly good mood today."  
"And you're your usual self."  
"You don't know my usual self."  
"You're just acrid around me then?" he asked with ostensible nonchalance.  
"_You're_ the one who invited _me_ out today!"  
"Yes." Loki began, speaking more seriously this time. "As I said, it isn't some trifle... And, to be honest, I thought you'd enjoy it." he confessed with a splinter of regret, then changing to vexation. "Why didn't you write back to me yesterday?"  
She still didn't look at him, and chose not to answer either.

* * *

The pair rode leisurely into a small glade, the palace shining behind them like a setting sun as it shrunk marginally in its blue canvas. Avildis balanced her right leg over the saddle while her left was braced on the stirrup. Fortunately the dress she wore that day didn't inconvenience her, though it was the only thing that didn't. Loki had kept silent the whole ride so far, and he sat straight and intimidatingly rigid on his horse, swaying only very gently with the animal's trot. Avildis was afraid of what he'd say when he _would_ say something, so she chose to open the conversation, hoping the pace she set would make for gentler talk this time.

"I didn't write back because I didn't know what to write." Loki was jolted to attention and almost didn't catch what she'd said, seemingly lost in his thoughts or maybe not expecting that late answer. "What to write, or how to write it... I toiled all day over a piece of paper." the girl laughed weakly. "And I was too nervous to come after you. I couldn't even open the door."  
"So you just decided to _make me_ come over?"  
"Did you mind it all that much?" she looked at him with hurt.  
"No, I do not mind that. I was just expecting more courage from you."  
"Oh, I'd know everything about that, wouldn't I? When's the last time I was courageous about anything?" Avildis grinned as she paraphrased her companion, almost challenging him to repeat it, though in her eyes Loki could spot great vulnerability. It took him a moment to remember his phrasing.  
"Don't start with that..." he begged.  
"I don't mean to accuse. It is true, after all." He was starting to explain himself but she didn't want to hear it. Avildis looked down and let her loose hair cover her face from him, and covered his words with her louder ones. "You haven't told me what you wanted to talk to me about."  
"Ah yes, that." and she almost didn't like how quickly he got distracted from her hurt. "It's about Thor."  
"What about Thor?" She got distracted too, and was now looking at him very attentively.  
"I think I know how to get him to... er, reveal his character, to the realm and mostly to father."  
"What will father see?"  
"Just how far Thor's recklessness can go."  
"I told you why I think this would be dangerous. But I'll stop here, before you start again about my cowardice."  
"Ava..." Loki shushed her sternly, then continued with his argument. "It is easy to overlook flaws of character in a realm in which they are not a threat. They become almost endearing qualities. Father always used to talk about how 'the time will come when we'll have to defend the realm' and so on, but nobody really expects something like that. Peace has made us indolent."  
"Don't you dare put Asgard in danger over him, Loki, don't you dare."  
"It doesn't even have to come to that. All that's necessary is for Thor to _think_ there's a threat." explained her brother.  
"It wouldn't even take much convincing, I suppose..."  
"Exactly."  
"But it would still have to be pretty convincing."  
"It would have to be vague enough that everyone else will be restrained, but sufficient to nudge Thor's sentiments in the... wrong direction."  
"A message?"  
"Words are very clear and decisive. Actions are more interpretable."  
"What did you have in mind?"

Loki braced his arm against his leg as he stared forward, though Avildis could tell he was mulling over an answer for her. She waited patiently and looked at him as their horses trotted on at a slow pace. She took in his appearance. He looked as smoothly in place as she looked frazzled, she knew - in her creased milky-grey dress and sleepy mop of hair, faded makeup, pasty faced. But _he_ always looked well put together. The armour he wore, though richly golden in its metals, had a type of leather that in the end made him look darker than most courtiers, and while the green that pulsed underneath complemented his bright eyes, it still had the effect of making him look at once cold and black. His face too was framed in black, which made it look even leaner and sharper. Loki was all sharp lines, like a fortress or a weapon most of the time.

"Haven't you thought that through yet?" the girl eventually asked, with kindness rather than pressure.  
"I have." he smiled at her. "I just haven't decided yet whether I should tell you."  
"Do I have to earn it?"  
"If you want." smirked Loki, but she didn't seem to take the bait so they went on in silence for a while longer.

"I do want to tell you..." he continued eventually, "and I will, shortly before it happens, if it ever happens. So you will know not to be afraid."  
"For goodness' sake, Loki, you frighten me _now_."  
"The important thing is that Asgard will remain impenetrable."  
"Thor will just think it isn't?"  
He didn't answer, and they went silent again.

* * *

"Let's go faster. I don't think we're far from it now." spoke Loki when they were just on the other side of the clearing. He waited for Avildis to say something, but she kept peculiarly quiet. "Well, are you coming?"  
"Can we please not?"  
"You said you wanted to -"  
"I feel like there's a stone rattling in my brain." she pleaded.  
Loki was taken aback. Scrutinising her, he considered she did look very pale and even her lips were white.

He dismounted, displeased and confused but concerned, and helped her down as well. She immediately had to hang on to him, claiming to have a blinding headache. He set them both down against a mossy stone and rolled his coat into a pillow for her, and they sat on the flowery ground.  
The girl immediately started to apologise, almost teary eyed, and finally told him how she'd spent the previous day in anxiety over his invitation, and then hardly ate, and postponed her sleep and woke up at dawn after a few hours, thinking he would come as early as he might consider normal. And then didn't eat thinking he'd take her to breakfast, like he had wanted, and ended up falling asleep in her dress waiting for him. She'd been asleep when he knocked on her door.  
"And you haven't eaten since yesterday?"  
"Yesterday afternoon..."  
"Stupid girl."  
"I get nervous when it comes to seeing people!"  
"Even me?"  
"Especially you."

Loki could hardly bring himself to berate her more when he knew very well how she felt without her going into details.  
She lay curled next to him, her head on the cold metal ribbons of his armour and her hands worrying each other as she stared absently at the ground. Her knees were resting over his leg, but he tried to put that out of his mind. Eventually, Loki lifted a hand to pet the soft crown of her head and the girl visibly relaxed at that sign of forgiveness.  
"How about I bring you something? We'll never be able to get you back if you don't eat something, in your state."  
"Bring me what?"  
"There used to be a bit apple tree around here. Do you remember?" said Loki as he looked around them. "The stream isn't even far now. I think I can hear it."  
"Well bring me an apple, not a fish." Avildis joked, and the prince smiled at that sign of improvement.

Loki left her there while he searched for the old apple tree, and after walking a distance he found it. The ripest, richest ones were on the higher branches as always, so he had to get them down with a little trick: one he hadn't used since he was a child, turning a twig on the ground into a snake that then slithered up the tree and, with its tail, pulled the fruit off and let them fall to the ground. Loki picked three, thinking them more than enough, then went to wash them in the nearby river.

The water felt chill even for him, and it ran over the apple in a crystal quick torrent; there was a refreshing and calming quality to the moment. Loki rolled the green fruit under the water and felt his own soul cool with the ritual. Though he was being very still, he burnt underneath his skin and it showed in his bursts of aggression. He tried not to feel guilty for his little moments of cruelty, but he got a sinful satisfaction for inflicting them on Avildis. His guilt only accentuated his pleasure because it reminded him that it was there, and best of all she was still by his side after what he did to her. Loki felt the greatest satisfaction at the stability of sentiment he saw in her as well as the sincerity that bled from her every gesture and word and gaze when she hurt.

He found the girl where he'd left her, a folded colt in grey with coral clad limbs peeking from underneath. She smiled trustingly as she saw him approach with the three apples in his large hands.  
"Thank you." she murmured as he took his place beside her, sitting casually with a knee bent and his arm balanced upon it.  
"It's nothing."

The god suspended two of the apples on the tips of blades of grass as if they were soap bubbles, and he luxuriated in the girl's laughter at that. If she were more herself, she would have probably played with them.  
Loki was just extracting a dagger with one hand and holding the apple to Avildis with the other when he felt her trembling hands take it from him, then take his wrist and bring his hand to her mouth. Turning his head in surprise, he found her suckling the water drops from his fingers. His lips parted on their own and he sighed, helpless at the sight she gave him. The girl didn't so much as look at him, however tenderly she was lapping at his fingers, and her closed eyes spoke of some measure of ecstasy. She then kissed the palm of his hand very lightly, and smiled up at him with a strange look in her eyes: something between an apology and supplication.  
"I didn't think you might be thirsty." Loki eventually choked out, returning again to the apple and cut it into slices for her. Avildis just smiled and laid her head against his chest, looking at his hands dreamily.

He took the slice to her mouth and she bit weakly, still looking drained and tired. She recovered however, slowly, and soon he joined her in eating a yellow apple as they sat in a pleasant silence.  
But his skin was still tingling where she'd touched him, and his mind was gone once more from his scheming to how to approach her or court her or flirt.

"I would have liked to come here in the spring." Avildis commented suddenly, waking Loki from his reverie. "Apple flowers are the loveliest, I think."  
"We can come here next spring."  
"I hope we'll be able to."  
"If you're still worried about this business with Thor..."  
"I'm not, though. I trust you." and the strength of the confession was a delightful surprise. "I just don't know if you'll still like me in the spring."  
"Now you're only begging for flattery." leered Loki.  
Avildis wordlessly looked up at him and fluttered her lashes in a very deliberate way. Her fears were very real, he knew, and perhaps she thought them founded, but at least she was willing to still be playful about it and he accepted that quite gladly.  
Repeating the scenario from their first night together, the night after the feast, he took her hand and kissed it chastely, laying it then on his chest while he went to play with her hair.

"I really did miss you, you know." he began. "And I waited for you all afternoon and all night."  
"I'm sorry."  
"I'll forgive you, if you promise not to do it again."  
"I can't promise that. So I suppose you'll stay mad at me now."  
"Not necessarily... I could punish you instead." he purred.  
"You've punished me enough today." Avildis noted very seriously.  
"Then I could make it up to you!" he suggested too-immediately, and she laughed at that.  
"What do you want to do?"

And Loki was once again rendered mute. His fingers twirled her hair nervously while he mulled over what he had gotten himself into, and how he could get something out of it, and how to say it. Her hair had the shade their mother's had when she was younger, the way he first remembered her, but in old age its richness had faded though it remained in her daughter.  
He found himself looking at the girl's chest, at the naked skin between her breasts, at how it seemed to rise not with breathing but in a faster rhythm which must have been the heart, thumping against her chest like a mad bird in a cage. He looked elsewhere before she could feel offended at his stare, but Avildis stayed calm and patient.

"What did you think of the other night?" Loki asked sheepishly.  
"Which one?"  
"You know which one."  
She sat very quietly, and suddenly every buzzing insect and every slipping ray of sunlight that hit him was a torturous irritant. He was ready to ask her again, but she finally answered in her small voice.

"We shouldn't have done it."  
He closed his eyes and breathed, thankful at least that she took it for _their_ act, instead of just his or hers. But then she added, as if to herself: "I want to do it again."

Loki wasn't sure whether she'd really said it or he'd just imagined it, and he looked down at her suspiciously.  
"I shouldn't want to, but I do." the girl added, looking bravely in his confused eyes. "I thought about you all of yesterday."  
"What will you do?" he asked without thinking.  
"I don't know... What do you want us to do?"  
"You know very well."  
"I don't, and you always make me say things specifically. So tell me, what?" She was sitting more straightly now, animated by their dangerous talk.  
"It is not so wrong as you think it is." Loki answered summarily. "It is only touching. Touching with the hands. It's harmless."  
"Is it?"  
"Isn't it?"

"And is that all?" Avildis asked, biting her lip, then shyly added "Do you want to kiss me?"  
"I want you to _want_ me to." he breathed. "I thought about you for days as well."  
"So, you like me?"  
"To put it mildly... You move me to distraction. You move me to illegality!" Loki laughed, but weakly. It made her smile nevertheless, and the girl hiked her leg over his lap to better reach his face and kissed the underside of his fine jaw. "What did you think about? Yesterday?"  
"You."  
"What about me?" he asked as his heart clenched. Loki could immediately feel her hands, resting on either side of his face, begin to tremble again. Avildis just kept her lips to his skin, moving them slowly and silently lower, and he didn't ask again.

"Let's go see the river, and then get back for lunch." the girl demanded after a while, and they got up and strolled in silence to the blue stream.


	8. Love me like your favorite toy

**And here's the chapter that might just get me banned or something. I did my best to keep this clean, but... time will tell.**

**Original is here: **g o o.g l/jfSdB

**And it might take a good long while before I post again. Usually when I post a chapter I have the next chapter written at least in proportion of 50%, but I'll be doing some damnable traveling come next week and I've been awfully busy and don't even know when I'll have internet. I'm not even sure if I'll have time to write, but I'll try! So as sort of compensation, an early chapter and two smut scenes in this one. The second one is... well, it deserves warnings, but I wouldn't even be sure where to start. Suffice it to say that if it displeases you, stop reading because it will only get worse. I'm also having second thoughts about the dub in dub-con. Cough.**

* * *

But the river had nothing for them. Avildis, at least, was left painfully underwhelmed. She remembered it differently, somehow larger and more full of wonder. Loki said she had simply grown bigger.  
They didn't stay long. As they rode back to the palace afterwards, Loki refused to let her ride on her own again. He kept her in front of him on the horse as hers followed behind.

"There's, er... going to be another feast in three or four weeks." he said suddenly. "Would you come with me?"  
"As what?" Avildis grinned. "Your escort?"  
"Why not?"  
"People might think -"  
"They'll laugh and find it endearing."  
"I'll consider it."  
He hated her cold answer, and didn't care to hide it. He couldn't even look at her again until he felt her fingers stroking his brow, gliding down to the hard cheekbones and from there onto his lips in a simultaneous expression of admiration and an apology.  
"Would you have accepted if we... if we weren't... If it weren't considered wrong, what we've been doing?"  
"Yes."  
"Would you, really?"  
Avildis turned into him and pressed herself deeply to his chest, gripping whichever part of his back she could reach, clawing at his coat. Feeling his head lean onto hers, she whispered intimately: "If we were anyone else... If we were anyone else, I would be yours completely, however you wanted me, whenever you wanted, if you ever did. Maybe even if we were in another family, a less important one... But we do not so much belong to ourselves."  
"So you're determined to impose us limitations."  
"I'm determined to suffer them with you, rather than be content alone."

Loki could have thought of a few snide remarks to that, but knew he could only drive her away with them. Instead, he rested his hand very casually on her leg as if it were his own. She shifted but didn't stop him, which caused him dual delight.  
The palace was becoming larger in the diminishing distance, and Loki didn't take his eyes off it while his fingers were rolling up her dress in front of him, over her thigh, and she had nowhere to go.  
"Stop it." Avildis whispered. "I'll fall off!"  
"Then hold on tighter."

His fingers reached the edge of her cardinal stocking and the ribbon that held it up, and her arms latched onto his shoulders suddenly, and then his fingers got to a bothersome piece of lace. He looked at her completely unimpressed.  
"Never wear these around me again."  
When she didn't understand, he pressed his hand against her and now was met solely by her flesh, the small garment gone. Avildis gasped in surprise and cold and Loki raised his sable eyebrows in amusement, daring her to complain.  
She pressed her thighs together, but from her seated position there wasn't much else she could do, and the prince slipped his hand between her creamy thighs and from there into her wetness.

"Tell me..." he started with a chuckle between his words, "are you always like this, or...?"  
The girl winced when he started to flick his finger under her. She didn't think she could answer, and buried her face in his neck bashfully.

"What did you think about, yesterday?" he asked again, this time in a whisper. "What, specifically?"  
"I won't talk like that..."  
"You will if you don't want us to ride this way into the main hall."  
"You wouldn't!"  
"Wouldn't I."

He kept sliding his finger and watching her struggles with relish. The closer they got to the palace, the faster he had the horse carry them, the sudden movements aiding to his toying with her and to her enjoyment, in spite of his growing discomfort.

Between strangled moans and sighs and pleas, Avildis finally gave in and started to confess into his neck.  
"All right, fine! I thought about you..."  
"Go on." he coaxed while he pushed his wrist between her thighs and felt, for the first time, the inside of her. This interrupted her confession in the most delicious way as the girl half-cried out in panic and gripped his soft dark hair. He hardly seemed to notice. "And don't lie, or I'll know. What was I doing to you? Was I doing this?" he asked as he moved the tip of his finger.  
"No." she shook her head. "Not like that. With... with... your..."  
"So you know about _that_?" questioned Loki, pleasantly surprised.  
"I've read about it. And I've seen it before, in -"  
"In horses." he guessed and laughed. "And don't you think I'd hurt you?"  
"You would..."  
"And stretch you?"  
"I never thought of that."  
"I would. And what else did I do?"

She pretended to have forgotten him for a few moments while she undulated against his hand. Avildis moved up and down against the now slowing trot of the horse and rubbed herself against his hand and his armour with her chest. The chill that reached her skin made her shiver pleasantly, but he woke her with a bite from her enjoyment, to made her continue with the story.  
"You had me tied, to my bed, by my arms and legs..." and she was beginning to really surprise Loki. "And you pleasured yourself with me quite roughly. And you made me..."  
He slipped the rest of his finger inside and let Avildis luxuriate in it, all the while staring quite stupidly, absently at her.  
"Don't stop." he pleaded.  
"You made me..."  
"Did I make you cum?"  
"Yes, that." she whispered hurriedly. "So much, and for so long and I hoped I would ache in the morning, for you."

He had not expected _that_. She didn't fantasize about being made love to? She, the innocent and brittle and very soft hearth of affection, wanted to be used and maybe even hurt - as he wanted to hurt _her_ whenever he let himself play with his thoughts. But he knew he didn't really want to do those things to her; he could keep dreams and reality separated, and he reasoned she did too.

"Loki..." the girl called with a small voice. He murmured questioningly, but Avildis wasn't saying anything else. Her head started languishing back, with her eyes closed and her lips parted and now very red. He knew then what she wanted, and started curling his finger. It made the girl moan almost painfully, but she seemed pleasured by it and started moving faster against his hand, opening her eyes to look at his enraptured face so close to hers.  
"Did you like it?" he breathlessly asked, referring to her dream but he let her take it however she wanted it.  
"Yes." she moaned. Loki slid his finger out to slick it against her hardened bundle and she felt the sudden need to beg him, for anything at all.  
"Tell me again."  
"I liked it." Avildis sobbed dryly. "I liked the feeling of you inside me." His fingers were working more furiously against her now and his breath came in heavy waves against her shoulder. She was moving faster too against him, and her grip on his back tightened, her hand leaving his hair to cling to his neck. Avildis was sighing his name again, so silently and reverently and completely lost in rapture when she wasn't moaning or whining loudly, and finally with her eyes closed the girl shuddered against his hand. She whimpered her pain and pleasure and fear against his taut throat and had to press her lips to it in order to quiet herself after too many long unquiet moments.

When she was finished, the girl still moved against his fingers with the greatest contentment, but far more leisurely now. Loki realised in a daze that she was once more quietly chanting his name.  
"You can't imagine how badly I want that. To be inside..." he confessed, then immediately felt her shake her head obstinately.

* * *

She had to hang onto him again when she got off the horse, but her shivers were due to something different this time. The pair smiled at each other mischievously and a little guiltily as the stable boys took the horses in. They refreshed themselves then went to the dining hall, half empty by that time - and they liked it very well that way. There was still plenty of food. Avildis headed straight for the sweets, but Loki wouldn't have it.

"You need your strength." he chastised. "And besides, I have more to talk to you about after lunch."  
"And I'd need 'my strength' for it?"  
"We'll talk in my room." he said with a note of finality. He was more than happy when she simply gave a little look of worry coupled with a faint blush.

Avildis, in spite of her childish habits, did have an appetite just then and she feasted with manners but zest on the steaks and rice and minced meat filled leaves with sour sauces. Loki was being a more restrained, contemplative eater. When she looked at him to ask after mead, he made a show of licking his fingers and leer at her and the girl's eyes went wide when she realised which finger it was. Suddenly, she didn't feel quite so thirsty.  
"Not here!" she whispered to him.  
"What was that?" he asked in the clearest, most casual way.  
"We shouldn't play at self com-" but her whispered phrase was cut off when Loki's face suddenly fell as he looked past her. Avildis turned to see a familiar figure smiling its way toward them.

"Greetings milady, my lord!" bowed the warrior.  
"Good afternoon, Freyrson." nodded Loki in the most politely slimy way he could manage as he got to his feet in greeting, and Avildis wanted to hit her head on the table when she remembered who the ginger was.  
"I... hope I'm not disturbing...?"  
"Not at all." beamed Loki. "How may I help you?"  
"Well, I was actually going to..." and Njord looked awkwardly between the pair.  
"Oh, you wish to speak to my sister." realised Loki, borrowing in the awkwardness and wanting to stab Njord for making him say the word.  
"Indeed." he grinned. "I was going to ask the lady if... well, it may be a little forward, since we do not know each other yet very well..." he rambled on while Avildis looked up to Loki, begging silently for help. But Loki shushed her with a downward flicker of his eyes, obviously annoyed with the situation too; when he looked back at Njord he once more had that deadly civility to him, smiling thinly.  
"My dear fellow, just say it. You are among friends." he urged.  
"Yes, well, I won't detain you more." Njord straightened himself as if the very conversation was a battle, and with this the girl could sympathise. "I wanted to offer myself as an escort for lady Avildis, for the Mabon feast."  
"Is that the feast you mentioned?" she asked the prince.  
"Er, yes." Loki smiled still not taking his eyes off the warrior, his hands stiff behind his back. "Well, sis? Will you give good Njord your answer?"  
"I... haven't very seriously considered going..." started Avildis shyly as she finally looked at the proud red mass of an aesir in front of her, and watched him deflate. "But I would be happy to come with you." she added, to the amazement of both men. Loki barely managed to keep his smile when he looked down at her.  
"Are you sure..." he slowly started, "that this won't make your other suitor jealous?"

Njord looked very confused, of course, as was Avildis for a moment before answering: "I think young Freyrson would make -"  
"If there would be a conflict, I do not want to -"  
"Don't interrupt her." demanded Loki still very sweet before slitting his smiling eyes down again at the girl: "You were saying?"  
"I think he would make a more suitable companion. The other I adore, as well you know -"  
"No, I did not know that." They both ignored that Loki had interrupted her himself, albeit with an innocently curious voice, while Avildis very deliberately ignored Njord's hurt look.  
"I do. But our combination would not be suitable for a feast. And it is only a small celebration, after all. A short night, yes Njord?" she smiled at him.  
"Er, yes! Yes, only -"  
"Good, then. Thank you." And with that, the princess wordlessly excused the warrior and got her attention back to the meal.  
Njord bowed before them and left quietly, with some measure of contentment if not satisfaction.

"What was that?" asked Loki as he slid back down.  
"You said I needed to go out more..."  
"Are you measuring my powers of retribution against yours?" he laughed with poison in his eyes.  
"And it will be more cautious if I go with him, rather than you." she whispered.  
"You wouldn't have to go at all."  
"No, I should... I don't want to be thought of as dead, after all."  
"How does that -"  
"We should not give any one any cause to think... We shouldn't test our luck."  
"Now you're simply being foolish."  
"And what if something happens, or someone notices something? Like now, with your... fingers."  
"Never mind. Let's not talk about it anymore, hm?" said Loki pleasantly.  
"Will we still talk in your room after this?" Avildis asked with a bit more courage now.  
"We most definitely will." Loki grinned charmingly, and for the moment she was happy.

* * *

"Is this how you wanted it?" he asked the girl in an icy frenzy as he shoved three digits into her. They were in the deepest darkness Loki could conjure and nothing was around them but the sounds her body made and their breaths. She shivered underneath him and moaned implorations and his name and "yes", but his lips parted over gritting teeth and his eyes had gained a plagued look bred by repugnance. Avildis wasn't bound but she didn't try to escape him, even if he was hurting her very deliberately this time.  
Loki's fingers barely fit inside her and could hardly move in a manner that would be pleasurable, but they were still digging as if he was trying to cut her flesh with his. His other hand was rubbing furiously at himself, his tip aimed at her thigh but there was a silent accord between them that that was as close as he could get.

"You want to be taken on your back, you slut? By every man you happen upon?" Avildis could only shake her head and _try_ to make a sound but there was a plug of fright in her throat. "That's why you wanted to go with him, isn't it?"

By now Loki was making the both of them ill, but the pain was obsessive. Any desire he had was slowly dying, and soon he stopped trying to coax anything out of himself. He moved his hand instead behind the girl, seemingly to lift her closer to him. But when his fingers started teasing her opening, Avildis was immediately woken from her trance and started fighting him.  
"Or are you 'curious' for something new?"  
"Not there, no, get away, stop!" she rambled breathlessly.

Her head fell back on the bed when she felt Loki's middle finger finally penetrate her, the feeling leaving her lost and afraid. To be stretched in that way was the strangest sensation she had ever felt, and from the sting she was certain a part of her was also bleeding. But Loki was closed off to her pain, and no amount of pleading could get him to stop.

"Don't you _dare_ cry." he warned hatefully. The girl shut her eyes and her mouth out of fear of him; he wouldn't relent.  
Loki could feel her clinging tightly to his finger and she no doubt could feel it too, painful and coarse. Her muscles were tightening around the invading sensation as he was still trying to get deeper, vaguely curious to see how much she could take in.

She didn't move away from him, but it certainly wasn't due to pleasure. Avildis had expected him to be rougher with her that afternoon after she caused his jealousy - heroes in the romances she read were always moved to greater passion when they felt they were losing - but this reflection of her dark fantasy was a frightening awakening both to what love was like, and to Loki's mercurial depths.

"You make me sick. I feel _sick_ because of you. What have I done to deserve that?"  
And he genuinely was, with a lump at the head of his chest and a sour feeling in his throat. Avildis, on the other hand, was experiencing a more salty feeling and for a splinter of a moment she thought he wanted to kill her. He had his fingers so deep into her that even trying to move from him shot needles of pain under her skin, though she tried her best not to cry and not to think.

Loki stopped his abuse not long after that, panting in an aching way she had never heard from him before. With no measure of gentleness, he yanked his fingers out and the way the darkness was then suddenly lifted from the room, as if she were being granted sight itself, made the girl aware that she was afraid of his magic, and should have been all along.

The prince turned his back to her as soon as he got up and made for the washroom in his leather trousers and nothing else.  
"Get out, you unsightly whore." he voiced without turning, and with that he closed the door and left her alone in his bedroom.

The sudden stillness and quiet froze her like the draft of a tomb.  
Slowly, Avildis cooled her heart and picked up her skirts and gently slid off the bed and onto her feet. Her legs were trembling and her stomach felt dead, but she managed to make her way to the door and out before Loki got back.


	9. Sleeping with ghosts

**Oh hai der! I'm not-quite-back. Still "travelling" - aka being in a foreign country for an obscene amount of time, hence my lack of time for other stuff. But I finally managed to write this chapter. The next one isn't even started yet, so expect another few weeks until it's posted.**

**Also, AFF is down and I'm tired (and suddenly afraid the people I'm stealing internet from will see on their bill what sites I've been on, hurr durr) so I'll just post the original full chapter here. It might get me banned, because it gets pretty heated. If I do get banned, you can find me on tumblr as jotunheiminthesummer, and this story will of course be there.**

**Thanks very much for the reviews and follows :) Enjoy the chapter! It's a long one.**

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Life should have gone on the way it had before - before that hazy point at which he became dependent on her affection - but somehow it didn't. Avildis' absence took away more than it had first seemed to bring and Loki found himself in the middle of countless lonely nights, playing by himself with simple illusions, like a punished child, spilling wine and turning it into snakes before it wetly reached his open hand. He could barely drag himself to breakfast, especially since he noticed she started attending too, albeit with her usual discomfort. He sat as far from her as possible and left before she finished. She had the air of wanting to talk to him, and indeed did but was too afraid to or didn't know how. Loki tried not to care.

He also tried to replace her company with something more usual and physical, but that didn't work. It didn't go past casual contemplation before the prince found himself too disgusted with both the prospective company and the act itself. He hadn't been in a very amorous mood lately anyway.  
The only time he could bring himself to do any of the pleasurable acts of not two weeks ago was in the mornings, when, under the steam and hot water droplets of the tiny improvised cascade in his washroom, he could conjure up a replica of the girl. Perfectly naked and pliant, he could have her pose as if she were impaled on him, braced against the stone wall while Loki rubbed himself with his hand hidden in the illusion and tried to finish it as quickly as possible before she vanished with the mist.

The god tried to spend more of his time on practical things, partly because he should have and partly because it offered a distraction. Time was moving quickly after all, and the preparations for Thor's coronation had already started in the palace, months in advance. So naturally, Loki started his own preparations.  
He knew he could hide himself from Heimdall well enough, as well as other persons. He was also familiar with manipulating the Bifrost's transport capabilities, although he hadn't worked that piece of magic in quite a while. It took a few anxiety drenched trips to other realms before the mischief maker was again confident of his talents. The only thing left was to get the actors for his play, as well as a proper stage.

It gave him a good excuse to have walks along the more important parts of the palace, the ones patrolled by guards and nobody else - at least not since his childhood. Some of those places, he hadn't been in in centuries. It was becoming a bitter exercise, and he had to take his time between excursions if he wasn't going to abandon the whole thing. He was now happy Avildis wasn't talking to him. Nobody could witness his sentimentality at this.

Thor, the dear idiot, was perfectly oblivious. The would-be-king of Asgard was even more pleased with himself than usual, and although he was more pleasant with Loki, the younger prince felt something disgusting at Thor's exuberance. Inbetween his reminisces and the blissful joy of everyone around him, Loki felt himself worn down.

The weeks slipped by before he knew it, and almost everything was ready for that horrible feast. Loki was prepared to ignore it before the rational part of him pressed the notion that it would look more than peculiar. Then he thought that maybe he could make himself ill somehow, but that smacked of cowardice. He was an aesir of standing and skill. He was single-handedly orchestrating an inter-galactic faux act of war. He could stand for a little heart ache with a smile on his face.

Watching the servants place the banners and colours around the main hall was at once a calming ritual and frightening. What would that room be like within two nights? What would happen in some far corner, or in the spot he sat now? What would happen at the table? Where will she sit? What will go through his mind then? What will go through hers?  
Loki vaguely remembered that he hadn't found himself a lady to accompany, but that wouldn't surprise anyone at least. He grudgingly recognised the sense in Avildis' decision. The two of them would have made the most unusual couple of the evening, and even if nobody would have suspected them of what they were doing nor of their plot, it was attention that was better left to more innocent targets.  
And then, as usual, he started to miss her. Her absence was exhausting. The ache he felt in several parts of his body was not yet intense enough that he felt he must go to her room again, begging, but it was tearing at his resolve. Loki almost looked forward to the feast just so it could pass and he could have a pretext to see her, maybe talk to her, and find out what she decided.  
And then he started to be afraid.

The whole day before it, the court was gripped by its expected excitement. It was a small affair indeed, compared to what would follow - Thor's coronation - but Asgardians loved any party. Curiously enough, Loki observed it had been a few days since he had even noticed Avildis at breakfast, or seen Njord around either. He tried not to connect the facts, and failed, and got angry. Everyone's cheer around him didn't help.

By the time of the actual feast, whose celebration started in the early afternoon, he was beyond exhausted but hid it mostly for Thor's benefit. Odin was his usual self, stern but without any of Loki's depth of feeling doubtlessly, and Frigga was simply delighting in all her children being around her. It was sometime around the beginning of the celebration, when everyone was still pouring in, that he noticed the little sister greeting their mother, dressed in so deep a red as to make Thor's cape look pale and washed. The hair framed her face flatteringly and she looked quite radiant though restrained. There always seemed to be a bit of a tension between Avildis and their mother. She loved her, without doubt, but she must have felt resentment too. Loki judged it was probably similar to his feelings towards Odin.

She didn't look at him but gave a nod to Thor as she passed by, and that stung more than anything. As always, she sat a bit further away from the important members, so he couldn't throw daggers at her all evening - not that he was even sure he wanted to.  
Odin's speeches were kept short, and everyone then skipped to the core of the evening: enjoying the spoils of the land. Volstagg was in his element. Thor had left his seat to sit with Sif and Hogun and Fandral was probably waiting for the dancing to start.

Loki somehow got in a conversation with Frigga, and he supposed it was better than anything else. He did not have to put on too heavy a front for his mother, because he did find her company soothing most of the time. She could nevertheless read him better than anyone and could tell he was distracted, so she started to draw their conversation away from his father's struggles with the petty trifles of ruling and how happy he was to getting so close to being rid of them.

"Why don't you do some dancing?" the queen asked suddenly. "Did you come with anyone tonight?"  
"Er, no." he chuckled. "No."  
"Will you dance with me?" Frigga smiled.  
"Oh but father will be jealous." the young prince said in mock terror. "And he shall challenge me to a duel I wouldn't survive."  
"You should have brought someone, then."  
"Thor didn't."  
"Never mind Thor... Thor's relations are always improvised. You are more like your father. You wish for things just so."  
"I suppose." Loki contemplated over a cup of mead.  
"And you're morose tonight."  
"Mother, please."  
"I am simply observing." the queen defended herself. "Not criticizing. Can't I look after my children?"  
"Yes, well, we are not so little any more."  
"That is what you think." the lady said, with a note of jest but also melancholy. "Your sister seemed low tonight as well."  
"Which one?" Loki asked as his heart began to cringe in anticipation.  
"Linde. You two always seemed to get on well. Do you know what's wrong with her?"  
His heart constricted even more, and suddenly the food felt like a knot in his stomach. "I've no idea." He tried to sound concerned, and managed quite well. He even convinced himself. "Did she arrive with anyone?"  
"I believe so..." started Frigga, raising her head elegantly to read the crowd. "Yes, Freyr's son came with her. But I haven't seen them together much of the evening."

The musicians started their piece just then, and a roar rose over the crowd. Soon enough the tables became light and the dance floor in the middle of the huge hall began to be filled with twirling, swirling, colourful couples.  
"Oh, there she is." noted Frigga looking at Avildis, now revealed, in her burning smallness, by the parted masses. Loki looked that way too and found her eyes, pleading with him, while her lips were parted in a half-word as Njord talked to her profile. He was standing, towering his bulk over her, and it didn't seem it pierced his enthusiasm that she wanted to be rid of him. He was probably begging her for a dance.  
"So much for your Freyrson." mumbled Loki towards his mother. "She needs rescuing."  
"Leave her, my dear. She needs to experience the company of others. She can cope with the boy. He's quite harmless, anyway."  
"Why don't you marry her off to him then?" asked the prince with a tinge of bitterness, leveling a cold gaze on the queen.  
"I don't think he'd want her." she answered contemplatively. "She isn't his type... He's a very lively sort. Her mellowness would cause him frustration."  
"Well, he seems quite keen on her." and he tried, tried, tried not to sound the least bit jealous.  
"He should be." Frigga nodded, now turning her attention to the row of desserts before them. "He doesn't think things through, of course. Most young men don't - not like you. She would be quite fetching to him though, wouldn't she?"  
"I don't understand."  
"Well just look at her." Frigga nudged her head in her daughter's direction. "She is in a sense unusual, but with so small a twist she might be beautiful. Perhaps it is because she is so young that she inspires in others a need to protect her. Very feminine, little Linde. If she went out more and took care that her posture matched her status, she would be quite the catch. But there is plenty of time for that..."

The conversation was becoming uncomfortable for Loki, and it surprised him how his mother didn't realise it. Or perhaps she did, and was teasing him in some demonic way, but the very thought drove a shard of terror to his heart. Their mother couldn't know about what they'd been doing... No, of course she wouldn't. She would have intervened much sooner, protective and proper as she was.  
Her way of talking of his sister nevertheless displeased him, and for the first time he was afraid of what their family might have planned for her instead of for himself. The House of Odin had never seemed heartless, but Loki was reminded at that moment how much they put duty before sentiment. He knew he would typically approve of that approach, but he was now starting to have doubts.

Loki never took his eyes off the girl, and she had finally managed to dissuade Njord. The warrior wondered off somewhere, and she was left alone - as she liked it. So Loki excused himself and gathered his courage as he went to talk to her.  
His anxieties weighed on him like the thick material of his cape, like his armor, more stifling than his helm, and inbetween steps he could hardly find the focus to breathe. As Loki got closer to Avildis, she spotted him approaching and her breath seemed to catch too, but a smile grew on her rich mouth, hopeful and welcoming and unintentionally seductive. He felt more frightened than she looked. On the contrary, she looked perfectly welcoming. When she was sure he was coming for her, the girl extended a cold white hand for him and he couldn't but offer her his.

The princess gripped him with unexpected strength, and her happiness by now radiated and infected him.  
"Do you wish me to take you away?" Loki asked her in a low tone. Avildis couldn't have looked happier and she nodded vigorously.  
He pulled her to her feet and was not a little incensed at a closer look of her before they stared rushing to the nearest door: the dress, though loose, was sewn to fall flatteringly around her figure, and its folds parted and came together in an almost erotic way as she turned. Her shoulders were bare and with a chain of ember jewels gripping the top of it, it was was held tightly around her upper arms and chest, falling down to her elbows to half-sleeves of rich cloth. The deepness of the red contrasted with her complexion, and the hair let loose around her shoulders made Avildis' neck seem even longer and more elegant.

The girl tried to pass inconspicuously as she followed her brother away from the party, but Loki couldn't bring himself to care if the whole world knew about their affair at that point. She was following him and was happy to see him and he couldn't remember the last time he had been so relieved and excited about something.  
They went into the first room they found in the darker alcoves away from the dining hall, the noises of the feast reaching them dully and distantly. The lights were dim, but enough for them to see one another and the first stitch of furniture Loki found was the one he used to brace her against as he turned her to face him and gripped her arms and locked his lips to hers. She jumped at first, then melted into the pace he set and moved her lips too, languidly against his. Her arms slithered between them and up his chest and to his neck and Avildis let her fingers caress his moving jaw while with her eyes closed she enjoyed the closeness of his body.

Loki let go of her arms to grip her waist and pull her even closer, and the girl tilted her head to better taste his mouth and moaned at his touches. While his mouth devoured hers in suckles and bites, Avildis kept a more gentle approach and she shifted from complete abandon to his whims, to tasting him lazily and delicately. She smiled now and then when she could discern the sweet hint of something he had eaten.  
She was shivering, he realised, but it can't have been from cold. Her legs felt lifeless and were he not bracing her, Avildis thought she would have fallen. The moans she gave him, like supplications and encouragements, made Loki feel quite weak too and soon he had to temper his assault on her mouth and let the both of them breathe. It didn't help how almost absently the girl moved her body rhythmically against his, as if she could so melt into him.

As soon as Loki moved his mouth to her throat, Avildis sighed and opened up to him the way he liked, and breathed into his ear how much she'd missed him and how she loved him and how sorry she was and after a while all she knew was his name. Loki's fingers gripped the sewn stones that held her dress up, and before the girl could protest he pulled on the threads and ripped them loose enough to let it slip, amid her sharp cries, down her chest until the dress was only held up by the sleeves at her elbows, exposing her down to her waist.  
"What are you doing?!" yelled Avildis. "I can't go back like this!"  
"Do you honestly care?" Loki asked as he looked her in the eyes incredulously. She stayed quiet, wanting to cover herself but not daring to move her arms from around him. He didn't wait for more before he lowered his mouth to one of her breasts, and that alone shattered all the girl's concerns. Her whine of pleasure and surprise melded with his satisfied moan, and he suckled a little harshly and bit her nipple before kissing apologies into the teased flesh as his hands moved to brace against her deeply arched back. Her breasts seemed fuller now that he was met with that part of her, straining against her skin almost. Avildis tilted her head back to give him everything he might want, with her chest an opened basket bursting with fruit for him.

She didn't taste quite like he expected. There was a waxy quality to the tip of her breast, though the rest of her skin had her usual perfume and texture. The girl moaned louder the more he worried her nipple with his teeth and the tip of his tongue, and her hips moved on their own against him in a way that wasn't helping either of them. Loki could feel her blooming against his tongue, and she could probably feel him hardening against her stomach, and he feared they weren't far enough away from the dining hall for what he wanted them to do.

"Will you let me?" he asked against her skin, and Avildis looked down at him confused and in a daze. "Will you let me take you?" he asked again almost out of breath. But she shook her head, obstinately as ever, and her flushed face and parted lips and deliciously heaving chest made him take her refusal very difficultly. "Let's go to my room, at least."  
"Have you missed me?" Avildis asked almost at random, but he could read in her even through the darkness her unquenched desire to hear confessions of love, like she had given him.  
"Very much." Loki admitted.  
"So you're not still mad at me?"  
"We'll talk in my room." he shushed her with a kiss, and immediately started dragging her out of the room. Guards were supposed to regularly patrol those halls. Avildis gripped her tattered dress, covering herself as much as she could at least until they finished their journey.

She helped them take a shortcut, reminding Loki of corridors behind particular tapestries, cold and narrow, dusty halls that the servants used. He had forgotten them completely, but she hadn't. They used to play through them when they were little. They were some of her favourite parts of the palace, always with an air of mystery and privacy, and she still knew them like the lines of her palm.

They managed to reach his chambers undiscovered, and celebrated their relief the moment the door shut, as the lights went on half-lit and Loki helped her undress, and put his mouth to her again. Avildis wanted him to take his armour off too, but couldn't so much as word it, let alone do anything more than fumble with his many straps and laces.  
He eased her on the bed and moved his lips lower down her chest, her taut stomach, her thighs as his hands unlaced the ribbons on her shoes and left her bare but for jewelry. Loki took a few moments to admire the way she looked, splayed on his bed though tense and almost ready to bolt. He gripped her legs together and pressed his lips to her bony knees, holding her to the spot.  
"To answer your question," he started, "no, I am not mad at you." Loki tried to keep his voice leveled inbetween kisses. "Did I hurt you very much last time?"  
He kept kissing her, very slowly and tentatively and not knowing how she would react to what he was aiming, but she didn't answer. When he gazed up at her, Avildis still looked like she was struggling for words.  
"I did, didn't I?" he asked with a pang of regret.  
"A little..." she whispered. "But it passed."

He buried his face in her thighs. Suddenly he didn't feel like making love anymore.  
"Loki," she called to him, "take those off..." The prince looked up at her and then realised, she meant his armor. "Will you, please?"  
And please her he did, stripping off the layers of his festive clothes with playful slowness the better to tease her. But Avildis waited quite patiently and although nervous and still with her doubts, she had nothing but affection for him. Her eyes slipped tentatively to what new piece of himself he exposed, but they always returned to his face and her warm smile had more love in it than lust.  
"We won't do anything though, will we?" she asked in a moment of reason.  
"Nothing you won't want us to."  
"Only kissing, then?"  
"If that's what you want..."  
"You should know by now that I want more." she lamented as she reached out to him, by now half-way undressed for her. He stopped there, seeing her discomfort and her regret at it and joined her on the bed.  
"I didn't know." he stated innocently, laying on his side next to her. To his surprise, she turned towards and over him and straddled his waist lightly. Her hands were braced beside him on the bed and under his surprised stare, the girl lowered her head to his chest and listened for his heartbeat.  
"I've wanted to see you all these weeks, but I couldn't even think of what to say. And I was so afraid you'd never want to talk to me again. I was so foolish and I'm sorry. I never should have said 'no' to you." she rambled on.  
"Forget the stupid feast." muttered Loki, wanting to put the whole thing out of his mind.  
"I'll never do anything like that again, I promise." And she planted her lips for a moment in the hollow of his chest. His hands went to toy with the strands of her hair and the edges of her ribs. "I want you to be happy. It is probably the only thing I want quite strongly." she resumed, kissing now lower down his chest and lingering to nuzzle his cool skin. "And I want to give you anything you want. I hate seeing you like this... I hate rejecting you. You have to understand I don't want it any more than you do." Avildis begged, now looking up into his darkened eyes. Loki said nothing, but he took his fingers gently and comforting to caress the side of her face.

"What if you're made to marry?" the prince asked as an afterthought.  
"Well, what if you are?" she countered.  
"What if I will be?"  
"I would probably rather be dead, or try to kill you." Her answer made him laugh. "I'm serious!" she pleaded, smacking the side of his chest with little force. "I'd rather one of us were dead than have to see you with someone else."  
He could think of several biting remarks to tangle her in, but couldn't bring himself to get over the impenetrable wall of sympathy with her, because Loki recognised her feelings and shared them completely.  
"At least I'm not the only one guilty of jealousy." he sheepishly jested.  
"Nothing is going to happen though, will it? With us? I saw you talking to mother tonight..."  
Of course, he had already made her afraid. "No, nothing is. Don't worry." Loki tried to soothe her, cupping her face and bringing it up to his, luxuriating in the feeling of her skin sliding over his. Her shivering arms could hardly keep her up and she let herself lean rather stiflingly on him, crashing her lips over his. Loki couldn't help a smirk at the thought of what he did to her. It was rather obvious, anyway, if he slipped his hand between them and fingered her parted lips. Avildis gasped over his mouth and broke away from him, though not from his fingers. She tilted her head back then let it fall in the crook of his neck while she canted her trembling hips over him.

"Did I do that?" Loki asked with mock innocence.  
"Do what?" she asked absently. He responded by rubbing his fingers faster against her wetness, making it resound around them together with her startled moans.  
"That." he chuckled. "You didn't wear anything underneath your dress tonight either."  
"You told me not to, around you." Avildis pouted against his throat.  
"Have you been dripping down your thighs all night, then?"  
"Not until you took me away."

Something about her answer or maybe her voice delighted him beyond measure and Loki felt compelled to skip at least that bit of foreplay and press her back on the bed, slipping down her body, then kneeling on the floor against the edge of the mattress. She was asking what he was doing - though he suspected she could guess and didn't bother to answer, choosing instead to drag her closer to the edge by her legs. Her hair spread behind her like a dark flame and her face had the right combination of apprehension and anticipation.  
His arms spread her tense legs, bent them to better open her in front of him, and without any preparation he brought his lips to hers, kissing them as if it were her mouth. It was a pleasant exercise, because her mouth was still free to moan and sigh and whine at what he was doing to her. She was actually being surprisingly loud and although her supplications called for him to stop Avildis sounded very pleased at the way he worked her. Loki gripped her more firmly once his confidence grew, steadying his arms under her, around her narrow waist, letting her legs hang lifeless and cold over his shoulders as he held her to his mouth. His thin lips moved against her lush ones in suckling, nibbling, enveloping motions and she thrashed underneath him as if in pain - and it was a certain type of pain, that she didn't know what to do with. Avildis' arm went to cover her face while her other hand moved to her throat, conspicuously close to her breast and her voice was going hoarse and weak. Her womb ached, her legs shivered, her lips burned and she felt on the verge of tears. A droplet of sweat tickled as it dripped down her leg. As Loki's tongue grazed upwards to flicker over the swollen clit, her back arched on its own and a trembling cry ripped itself from her throat. The prince gripped the tense bundle of flesh between his lips and was now suckling it as he had her breasts, now grazing his teeth up and down, now combining the treatments with a deep suckle finished in the nipping of the tender skin on its tip. He removed his hands from her thighs only for as long as he needed to unlace his trousers and pull them down.

She was begging him in earnest now to stop, calling his name in the hope that he would look up to her, but he didn't. Instead the girl had to cut him off with her hand, moving his face away from her. Loki was surprised and for a moment frightened at the ache on her face, but her blush and heavy breathing calmed him somewhat to the notion that he hadn't really hurt her. She was merely wincing now. Her flesh could almost still feel his mouth and shivered at the memory of it, but Avildis wasn't as keen on it as her body was. Without needing her to say it Loki replaced his mouth with his fingers, something she was more familiar with. To his relief, her worried eyes closed in rapture and her head fell back on the bed with a gasp, her back arching once more to better angle his penetration. He had never had such open access to her, he realised; never had her so exposed and spread for his exploration. Loki acknowledged again how virginally tight she was, how noisily wet as usual, but also how small in other ways. The girl could feel his long fingers reach the end of her, bumping off an internal nodule somewhat painfully, somewhat pleasurably, but awkward. She winced when his fingers rubbed her there, the flesh feeling raw, but she didn't stop him. Loki himself was unsure what to do. He was just a touch saddened but mostly overwhelmed and excited at knowing her so small, so easy to hurt and even bruise on the inside if he wanted to.

He started to curl his fingers and her voice broke into sobs and pleadings, her hands going immediately to her mouth to quiet herself. Looking back down at her skin, the prince noticed with amusement that if he tilted his fingers just so, he could tell where they bumped against her lower stomach. The sight excited him in an unusual, unexpected way, and his free hand went to his neglected length, rubbing up and down and around the weeping tip while his lips fell to her stomach and kissed the skin raised under his fingers. Loki sped his thrust into his fist as Avildis moaned louder and then with her usual taint of pain and pleasure the closer she got to completion. She started to move her hips around his fingers, longing for some part of him to caress her neglected clit again. But Loki couldn't remove his hand from himself, nor could he stop his fingers' movement inside her. He heard, as if through a haze, the girl's voice calling his name and begging, and he still couldn't stop.  
His fist jerked more violently at his pained flesh and now and again rubbed against the small slit at the tip of his cock, spreading the leaking juices in spite of the mild burn the strong friction caused him.

Eventually Avildis slithered her hand down to press against her clit herself, and his mouth lifted from her, his awed eyes staring at her small digits flicking the swollen bundle while, just underneath, two of his fingers moved in and out of her darker lips, coated in sugary white juices. They made almost a sucking sound as they went out of her, so wet was she, and pausing to tilt his head Loki watched it drip out of her cunt and down between her cheeks. It was then he realised he was groaning almost painfully, and his fist started rubbing even faster. It moved his skin over the heavy cock, touched the tip then was dragged tightly back and he squeezed himself rhythmically, the way he imagined she would feel when she came.

Soon enough the girl had had enough to overwhelm her senses with pleasure and with a long moan she gushed into his palm, wincing and crying and calling his name. Leaning forward, crouching almost between her parted legs, Loki too reached the peak of his pleasure with a moan and spilled down his fingers, dripping carelessly onto the carpet. He could feel the girl still gripping his fingers tightly, her orgasm dragging on.  
Catching his breath, all he could smell was her sweetness and salt and musk, and it was enough to excited him again already, but he removed his hand from his length believing the night enough both for him and for her. Looking up at Avildis, herself breathing heavily and languidly gazing down her prone body at him, he found the clarity to admire her beauty more than he ever could before. She glistened in the candle light, soft and tired, and her bony hips dipped into a delicate waist of a perfection he had only seen in paintings. Her lips were bitten redder and fuller than he remembered, yet not as dark as her small and ever-hard nipples, which were closer to the shade of her lower lips. Her hands laid sapless, one on the bed and the other on her stomach, and her head was tilted to reveal a very taut neck. Her eyes were half lidded, dark, full of love and nothing else. She was still mouthing his name absently.


	10. To and through the heart

**I am so so so so so [10 minutes later] so so sorry that updating took me this long! I've not only been busy, but not in the mood to write, so those are my excuses for what they're worth. This was just a filler chapter anyway (and all of it is practically smut, incidentally), and kinda sorta character development/analysis. The next chapter is going to be where the big guns come in and the plot takes a turn. It will kick off with the events in _Thor_, and finally get this story on track with the description I put up for it.**

**I know I've been a bit paranoid about the banning (haha) but I do tend to have rotten luck! So I'd rather be pleasantly surprised - which I am. I'm still fearful, of course, in a little corner of my head.**

**As for the specifics:**

**molescout: I never meant it to seem that Frigga knows anything, though I'm glad that the dialogue had that effect. She doesn't know, though. If she did, the universe would probably have exploded from her rage. Odin might know if he took to spying on his children, but he didn't so he doesn't (thankfully, because that would have been too freaky even for me, much as I love Anthony Hopkins). And dear me, I hope I'm not writing Loki as being too unusual! I'm all worried now... He'll become more in line with normal representations in a few chapters though, so no worries there. I just have a huge weakness for him all sweet and vulnerable, before he becomes the villain, so I had to dedicate a few chapters to that.**

** Fuchsia. Grasshopper: thank you thank you thank you XD Your reviews were both hilarious and incredibly flattering! I'm so glad you're enjoying this.**

**StolenMuse: I could tell you what route I'm going to take, but it would be a spoiler and nerr. I mean I could lay out the whole plot, if folks want me to, but I know most people don't like that (I'm one of the freaks who actually do, incidentally). I will give you something though: they will actually have sex. Possibly in the next chapter. I was going to wait for the chapter after that, but now I don't think I will. I'll just do the events in the first half of _Thor_ in flashback because everyone knows the movie anyway.**

**While I'm on about it though, I should mention that I'll be using the deleted scenes as canon. In case you haven't seen those, you can find them on YouTube if you give a search for it. If you still have no luck, let me know and I'll sort you out.**

**Overall, thank you so much for the reviews and the new follows and favs! I probably still wouldn't have finished this chapter by now if it weren't for those motivators. And they always make me so happy when I see them, so thank you again :)**

* * *

With her eyes and her hand and her voice and her smiling mouth, Avildis beckoned him to bed. Her legs slipped down and she pulled herself higher on his bed, against the pillows, and patted the spot beside her. Loki rid himself of his trousers and slithered to her, as exhausted and trembling as she, and laid on his front next to her. The girl inched closer, careless of their nudity, and laid next to him so that their skins touched - hers warm and soft, his cool and firm. She seemed on the verge of saying something, but only managed to lick her lips and give a languid smile as Loki rose his brow questioningly. Eventually she just buried her nose in his neck, hiding from him and herself.

They stayed embraced, turning to caress each other's skin with their fingers, their lips, their cheeks. She gave him her warmth and comfort, casting her leg over his to better crush her chest to him, nuzzling and holding him in her arms while he enveloped her protectively, possessively, holding her in a remarkably chaste fashion, matching her embrace and caresses and kisses. They conversed in whispers, at length and intimately.

"Are you still determined to keep things so... restricted?" asked Loki at one point, though this time without the usual urgency and anger that accompanied the topic. Avildis hummed her reply while she kissed a trail from his shoulder down the lean muscles of his arm. "For how long? Forever?"  
"Why couldn't we, forever?" she asked as she stopped her kissing to look up at him.  
"Do you think we even could?"  
She pushed herself back up and laid on her front, her legs playing up in the air.  
"We need only be careful so that we don't get caught... I suppose we might at least risk getting caught, eventually. The palace is full of people. But we'll learn. I don't even want to think what will happen if we're found out." Loki's silence made her feel she had left his question only half answered. "And as for the rest... we will have to be careful for that as well, I suppose. We should never lose ourselves. This is satisfactory enough, isn't it?" she asked with somewhat pleading in her voice.  
"My time with you is the most satisfactory of my whole life." Loki smiled at her as his hand went to caress her face, making her smile back at him. "Which is why I doubt myself around you. You assessed me well when you called me greedy."  
"You are many things more than that." she said as she took his hand and kissed it. "You're no fool. You know what can happen - to both of us. And you know restraint too, wisdom beyond your years, and -"  
"You flatter." Loki chuckled.  
"I do not. It's true. And it is why I love you."  
The statement gave Loki a warm and satisfied feeling, and after a pause he purred "Come up here and say it again."

Grinning, the girl leaned into him and pecked his lips with kisses, repeating her 'I love you's in-between, and he couldn't get enough. The prince gripped her arm and pulled her firmly against him and pressed his lips to hers more passionately, but she started to struggle and retreated from him with an awkward laugh. To the hurt on his face she answered that he tasted strange, and her coy gaze made him realise his lips still tasted of herself.  
"Do you want something to drink?" he now laughed too, and the princess nodded sheepishly.

* * *

The following months they spent together were the happiest of both of their lives. Avildis still refused to let him up to her room, so for privacy they went to his. She had even gained the courage to use his washroom, though she didn't let him bathe with her.

In spite of herself, she met him at breakfast every day. Njord had been thoroughly forgotten, though Avildis later heard he had looked for her late Mabon evening, and had been a little frightened that he could not find her. But she and Loki were beyond caring.  
They didn't plot anymore, but their private conversations had the conspiratorial air of mischievous children, and in each other they found a corner of escape from the court. They couldn't yet spend all of their time with each other: Loki feared it would look too peculiar if anyone cared to look closely, and Avildis feared he would get tired of her (which he vehemently denied before he lavished her with desperate kisses). Whenever they parted, right after breakfast, he would drag her to a hidden corner of the hall and grip her arms and make arrangements for their next meeting and kiss her face and tease and joke and she too would play with him like this, glowing with joy though hardly bearing to see him go.

Her days were split into hours of waiting for hours of delectation. She found it very hard to do anything in her lonely frustrations, so she took to walking to clear her head and cool her heart. She started being more picky with dresses, and even commissioned new ones, trying bold new colours and styles. She had never been partial to cold shades, but being so close to Loki had endeared her to green. Although it did nothing for her - not like it did for him and his unusually vivid eyes - the prince was charmed and even humbled at the changes she made because of him - though, he said, a dress flattered her most when it pooled around her legs.

They both tried new things, tenderly and careful with one another. Loki was afraid of hurting her, although in the middle of her passion she sometimes asked him to do it. And so the prince would slip a large hand around her throat and gently squeeze while his fingers tickled her wet core, holding her in place and feeling her moans murmur against his palm, or he could pull her hair as she laid on her back beneath him, her lips parted in amazement at her own feelings, and with her throat exposed he could drag his teeth down the smooth skin and bite and pinch, his manhood rubbing itself between her firmly closed thighs. His length prevented any "accident" as it reached fully the bed underneath, the leaking head staining the sheets. She would thrust her hips against his, undulating with grace, and whenever the tiny head of her clit would rub itself against his hardness she moaned in approval. Other times he could simply hold her quite firmly, bruising her thighs or hips with his strong fingers as he held her down to kiss and lick and bite at her soaking lips while she cried and begged and shivered on the bed.

In a moment of courage, she wanted to return the favour to him. Avildis gripped his length, marveling at the smoothness of the terrifyingly broad head, at how soft the skin was under her hand, contrasting with the steel-hardness that slid underneath. Loki was bent over her, with Ava kneeling between his legs at the edge of the bed. He was trying to convince her of how she didn't have to do it, petting her head and her shoulders with a trembling hand while the other gripped the sheets.  
Worry never left the girl's features but she was determined, and bravely, barely, she managed to bring herself to kiss the tip while her awkward fist held the base. A broken moan instantly left the god's lips and his head tilted back, in that moment Loki completely forgetting about trying to dissuade her. He even felt a tingling sting his thighs and face when she took him in a little. At his moan, Avildis looked up and smiled to see a blush burning across his enraptured face, under his diaphanous complexion.

When she worked him deeper into her mouth, he lost the strength to sit and let himself fall back on the bed, hands tangling in his hair to keep from pushing the girl's head lower on him. Everything about Avildis excited him, from the way a dry piece of her lips would scrape in the gentlest way against the tender tip, to her small breaths tickling his inner thighs, to the softness of her mouth when she wrapped around him a little further, for a brief moment sucking as she did his lips when they kissed. The girl then took the tip of her tongue to lap at his leaking slit, flicking as he had done to her, then suckling and with her fist squeezing the base of his twitching cock as if to coax the cum out of it. She placed a hand on the edge of the bed between his legs, making the mattress dip, and her knuckles stroked gingerly at his sac. His mouth had gone dry from intermittent cries of pleasure but he nearly lost himself at that feeling, and with a pained groan Loki had to pull her away. Avildis was genuinely reluctant to let go; she had never made him sound quite like that before, and for once she was feeling proud of her abilities.

Taking her in his arms, the prince laid her down on the bed underneath him, and holding her still between his thighs he gripped her behind. She sighed at every touch and friction, arching when Loki started kissing her breasts but then stiffening when she felt his hand move more intimately to test the tighter opening. Much as it had hurt her the last time he used that particular part of her, the girl couldn't but feel a rush of excitement and a measure of pleasure when he touched her there, and she allowed him to press inside slowly, infinitely more gently than before, until his digit was spreading her tiny hole.

In her excitement, she felt more closed off to him than usually. Loki cursed under his breath as he felt the blood drain from his fingertip, but he kept it inside, relishing in the incredible heat of her body so different from his own. As his mouth worked on her breast and his other hand worked on his own problem, he could feel the girl start to writhe and bend and move her hips against his hand, moaning pleadingly between whispers of his name.  
"Touch yourself, my darling." Loki ordered her from under her breast. Without even thinking, Avildis slipped a hand between her thighs. The sounds of the prince's skin slapping against itself was then accompanied by the wet ticklings the girl caused as she played with her lips. She then began to whet the sensitive tip, interrupting that from time to time in order to dip her finger and sweeten it again with her gushing juices, then bring it back up to rub and circle and tease herself.

Loki's pace was furious, she could hear. Avildis kept instead a languid pace to her self-caresses, content to circle her clit and keep it wet, only increasing her pace when he would move his finger inside. He made it feel, in an odd way, as if that was his cock, spreading her cunt. But it felt far more dominating than she would expect, even humiliating, though still pleasurable.  
A sound reverberated though her chest as the god moaned again, louder this time. The tip of his thumb flexed to her spread lips after he felt a trickling between her cheeks, and Loki was amazed at how wet the simple penetration had made her. His fist started pumping harder and faster, and he had to lift his head from her breasts in order to breathe. Hazily, he looked at her flushed face: her eyes were closed and she was biting her lips, groans slipping through at the half-pain he caused her with the gentle thrusts and pulls of his finger. He then looked down at himself, at his stiff cock twitching so close to her naked womanhood, dripping down the shifting skin and onto her. His moans became louder and more desperate, and it took every drop of his love to keep from shoving his member straight into her.

The prince's heart threatened to beat out of his chest. He had almost forgotten about pleasuring the girl underneath him, although he was well aware of her lustful sounds and how she felt between his increasingly trembling thighs, and against his thumb. But he focused his last thoughts on the throbbing member in his grip and with a few more rough pulls of his skin, Loki released a chain of moans and sighs and a spurt of hot white fluid on her lower stomach, her mound and the hand that frigged there.

He had to remove his fingers from her in order to brace himself on the bed, feeling almost faint from the exertion. Avildis was now looking into his pale-green, half-mast eyes with wonder and with an undertaste of fear but through a gauze of lust which he knew he shared.  
Loki was still breathing heavily when he let himself fall beside her on the bed, taking a wet hand to his already wet - sweating - chest. The girl kept slowly working at herself, though now her head was turned sideways to look at him, at his very red and parted lips, at how their dark hair tangled perfectly, at the light sheen on his strong arms, and at how his lean but rough and manly legs contrasted with her smooth and beautiful ones. The juices he'd spread over her in a fit of pleasure-cries took her to a new zenith of desire, though Avildis felt no carnal ecstasy could compare to the sight of him cum and fight to catch his breath beside her - and because of her.

She couldn't finish the thought before Loki turned to look at her and an idea seemed to take root in his own mind. He smirked a little tiredly but wickedly, and crawled lower on the bed before Avildis could say a word. In a breath, he was back between her legs, licking his juices from her and then her own, moving her hand away to lap at the sensitive lips. The girl instantly cried out anew, nearly faint with pleasure and on the verge of tears at the intensity of the feeling.

Her amazement at his willing consumption of his own release became mingled with the rest of her lust. Loki fanned that desire as he spread her lips with his fingers to lick more deeply at her, causing the girl to moan in a particular lost way that he liked. He lifted his lips from hers only to demand in a rough voice: "Beg me." And Avildis willingly did, pleading in a pained and completely sincere manner, not caring what she was supposed to beg for. If Loki weren't completely spent, he would have gone hard at the sound. But as it was, her delicious mouth fanned only his masculine pride.

She came not much later, after he lapped at her sensitive sex over and over with a tongue that felt more rough than usual. They were both too tired to do anything afterwards.  
Avildis and Loki slipped into a trance-like torpor, together senseless and satisfied, tingling with mild afterwaves of pleasure. His arms were lain loosely around her middle and the girl's legs were wrapped around him.

After that evening, they stayed away from trysts for several days - a long time for them, by now. So satisfied and sated was the pair that they didn't feel the need to drink from each other again. They still spent plenty of time together, addicted to the flattery of being in one another's company, Loki in particular proud to finally be admired and his stature almost feared by a member of the opposite sex (of any sex). It was the first time he felt truly desirable, and he could not spot the hint of a lie in Avildis when she gazed at him longingly and leaned in to touch, or caress, or praise him. For her he represented an ideal, which in turn made her ideal for him.

He insisted on educating her further in anatomy, and the pair confiscated the royal library for hours some days. It was no surprise to the girl when Loki chose to focus mostly on the reproductive system. She guessed it was another way for him to show off, not so much with his knowledge - which had already impressed her - but with the illustrations. He was, of course, more formidable than any representation, and she didn't care to hide her amazement at finding out what passed for "average" in terms of male genitalia. She knew he needed soothers for his wounded ego, and generously gave him every drop of admiration she was capable of and felt.

Avildis insisted on certain recreations too, and begged him to let her come see him train with Thor and whoever his usual friends were. As she expected the younger prince was reluctant, but in the end he relented and somewhat fearfully let her come see them one day.  
Their older brother and the Warriors Three were surprised at the audience of the little royal, but they were amused more than irritated - unlike Loki, who was constantly having second thoughts. The girl tried to make herself as pleasant as she could manage, and her sweet nature meant she wasn't a pest for them at all, though she wasn't taken very seriously either. She kept her eyes mostly on Loki anyway, which he observed with surprise and a sprinkle of relief, but nervousness when it came to actually performing.

"Who did you expect me to look at?" she questioned him with a teasing tone when they'd left the training grounds. Loki just mumbled and kept walking quickly, but Avildis could tell he was deep down satisfied. He had done nicely that day too, for her. "Did you expect me to like what's-his-name?" She meant Fandral, and Loki knew she knew his name; he also knew she acted like he didn't matter for his benefit. It was probably also because, as Loki further knew, Fandral really didn't matter to her.  
"Well it is the usual reaction... Or, well, Thor of course, but he's..." It was an awkward situation, dismissing one version of incest in the presence of another, so they quickly skipped past it.  
"Come this way." the girl suddenly whispered, turning, and following her Loki found himself dragged behind a tapestry into one of the hidden corridors she knew so well. They stopped a bit further into it, then Avildis pushed him against the wall in what to her might have seemed like a rough manner. He didn't mind at all, finding her efforts darling as usual. His amusement melted when the girl lowered herself in front of him, very close to his body in the tight passage, looking up with a mischievousness that, Loki proudly thought, she must have learnt from him. Her fingers fumbled with the laces of his trousers, almost trembling, and then she had him released from the leather, drawing him towards her mouth. Avildis kissed the tip of his manhood and earned a gasp from him.

"You looked stunning today." the girl whispered with her lips now brushing against his taut skin, slowly torturing him to distraction. "You really have a beautiful..." she kissed, "beautiful body." and then licked the tip. She held the base in her fist, but soon she didn't need to as he was straining towards her. In-between kisses she sighed her admiration of his backside, his front, his shoulders, his arms, his neck. Her worshiping of his cock made his eyes roll back in his head and his head lean against the cool stone. Loki's dark hair soon became a ruffled halo of black as he shifted this way and that, trying his hardest to keep quiet while the girl lapped at his leaking sex.  
She had just finished telling him how she'd admired his poise when she lowered her head to nip at his sac, plucking the skin with her lips, and the prince couldn't hold the lustful groan that pulled from him. She had never done that before, and he was amazed every time she discovered something new to do to him.

He had already been sweating from the fight, but Avildis was making his armor unbearably stifling. She dragged her lips back to his tip and suckled gently, never pulling too much of him in - probably out of fear, or shyness, but also perhaps as a way to tease him further. She was never particularly good at pleasuring him that way, but she somehow still excited him better than anything else and certainly better than the ugly servant he'd used before.  
"Just the sight of you... and the sound, you sound so wonderful when you're fighting..." she went on, never lifting her mouth from his overly sensitive skin, "You make me so wet."  
"Show me." Loki groaned, looking down at her now with slitted eyes, the green in them almost consumed by blackness.

Avildis made a bit of an effort to get off her knees - she'd put on a good show pretending it didn't hurt to treat them to the hard floor, until now - and braced herself against the wall opposite. The prince had been bracing himself too, gripping the stone slabs with his fingers, but now he pushed himself off and onto her, gripping the leg she offered and raising the dress to her hip. He wrapped the slender limb around his waist and she her arm around his shoulder as he leaned into the girl and with his free hand tested her naked sex. His fingers found even her thighs coated in slickness, and as he angled them higher he found he could hardly tell her skin apart. Loki buried his head in the soft hair that hugged her throat to muffle a groan, and the moans that followed when he started moving his finger on the length of her slit, then into the soft and burning flower that had made all that honey for him. Avildis reminded him that as well, interrupting her whimpers and trembling thrusts to whisper in his ear that "That is because of you. That's all for you, my love."

He could have sobbed at the delicious ache in his chest as she said that. Every time she confessed her love, Loki was struck with an intoxicating mixture of joy and despair and gratitude and disbelief, love and cynicism and a crippling fear that it could end simply because it existed. When Avildis said those words to him, when they were exhausted from their substitution for love making and drifting to sleep, or when they parted after breakfast, or when they were alone in a spot she liked and she opened up her heart for him to feast on, the prince sometimes wished she had never started loving him - the part of him that knew that things that have a beginning have to have an ending - because the loss of the priceless gift she gave would be unbearable, greater than the value of itself because it would mean the loss of so much more. It was an undefinable sentiment, but it was sharply clear in moments like that.  
"I love you so much." he confessed with his mouth hovering over her reddened lips before covering them voraciously. He had forgotten about pleasuring her or himself, instead savoring the deeper sweetness of the moment. He could get physical pleasure anywhere if he wanted to, but he could think of no quarter of the universe that would give it gladly and so lovingly as the corner he found in her heart.  
But then came the inevitable day of Thor's coronation.


	11. In your room

**Well, I don't think there are enough words of apology for how long it took me to update this. I can only give the same excuses as usual: life, school, mood, sometimes all three, etc. I just had a few weeks off right now and could finish this, finally. So I apologise to everyone for keeping you waiting.**

**On the bright side: SMUT. Sex, finally. This chapter is also enormous, compared to the previous ones, so it takes a bit to get to the good bits - skip, if you're impatient. Also, I wasn't really happy with the first smutty part; too much introspection, too many feels. So I wrote up another one right after it which (I hope? maybe?) is better. I don't even know. I'm so tired I'm immune by now. So please throw comments at it.**

**Speaking of which: thank you thank you thank you! Thank you for the follows, and the favs, and thank you to StolenMuse, FuchsiaGrasshopper, vykrothe and the kind guests. It was lovely seeing your comments, and they made me so happy.**

**As I said though, I am so tired (it's now 5am exactly, and I just finished writing). So there are likely to be typos or errors, like in the previous chapters too of course. None of them are beta'd, to my chagrin.**

**Anyway, this chapter will follow the first few scenes from ****_Thor_****, including the deleted scenes. So it might help to look those up before reading this, if you don't want to be a little confused.**

**And I think I had something else I wanted to say, but now I forgot.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

The palace had rarely felt at once so calm and so loud. The passage to Avildis' tower rang with the thumping of boots to gilded floor, betraying an agitation in spite of the emptiness – a quality which every room the prince had visited that day seemed to share.  
Loki had come to know that floor very well: he'd been pacing up and down the same fifteen foot stretch for the past hour. Occasionally he'd sit down on a window ledge and cradle his head in his hands. Looking behind him, he could see the sun finally set on that jungle of a day and die over the sea. Something inside him broke at the sight and he started sobbing again. The corridor had a tomb-like quality; any sound in it echoed. The prince had to mute his cries if he didn't want someone to hear.

He'd come to wonder whether he still could count himself a prince at all. Loki was even surprised he'd not been picked up by the royal guards, arrested for treason. Maybe the queen had just told them what he was, and they'd just started looking for him. Maybe Thor's friends told them how they got to Jotunheim, how Loki tricked Thor into it – could it have been that transparent? And Frigga would piece it together and have him arrested as soon as they found him. Then everyone in the realm would know what he was and what he'd done – and how easily one explained the other.  
The thought shook him out of his reverie and he jumped back to his feet.

Wiping tears away, Loki constructed a plan as he walked to her room, now with firmer conviction seasoned by fear. Avildis' room was blissfully the only inhabited one in that tower.  
He straightened his back and steeled his eyes, his fists clenching with the effort it took to pull himself together. He was hastily constructing a speech too, but with every flight of stairs that got him closer to her, he got sick of the words and started over – and over and over again.

He waited an age outside her door once he got there, more terrified of the girl than he was of the whole Asgardian army.  
What could he even say to her? The last time he'd seen her, she found him in the antechamber to the throne room. Thor was somewhere getting ready for the ceremony with some encouraging talk from the queen. Loki was waiting for him among the golden pillars and smouldering hearths, but Avildis came instead. She'd been so sweet, and thinking back to those spare moments, Loki was sad he hadn't known to appreciate them more. She was in a hurry, but he was happy for anything he could get. Her three kisses were enough – first one in greeting, long but light as she tested his mood before she made conversation.  
"All ready for the awful thing?"  
"All is ready, yes."  
"I didn't mean - Did you mean…?"

He quieted her worries with another kiss, this time a more potently distracting one. He took the opportunity to feel her, too. Her arms were cold but getting warmer. Her dress (a finer thing that anything he'd seen her in before and likely not her own) was a gaudy gold like everything else was going to be that day, but she'd managed to soften the metallic arrangement with something of herself, a choral chain that burned at her cleavage. Loki used the pretext of admiring it to trace the delicate bones, resting his thumb over her heart and drawing patterns while he held her and they continued to talk.  
"I told you before that I'd warn you, so that you wouldn't worry. And really, there isn't anything to worry about, I promise, even if it will seem dangerous. Nothing will go wrong, whatever father finds in the palace."  
"I'm too scared now to ask. Will you at least have time to see me later, when it's all finished?"  
"I think so… I can promise you I'll try."  
"I don't think I'll last through the whole feast, if it will go on into the next few days. And it's definitely going to." Then she noticed his knowing smile and added "Unless you save us from it."  
"I just might."  
"Be careful, please." the girl begged. "If you feel anything for me, you'll be careful." and she didn't let him answer before she pushed against his body and leaned up to kiss him again. It was done in the hungry way she used when she was impatient or scared, with a lot of gripping and grinding and some teeth to his lower lip, harder once he started kissing back. Her hands had gripped his waist but then one strayed to the front, playing with his length over the leather trousers. Loki was too frightened to allow himself a moan – there were servants creeping everywhere, and Thor had to be on his way. But Avildis must have been feeling adventurous or insane, because she gave him a few mewling, pleading sounds and she must've known they were his favourites. He was just about ready to answer to her temptation when she pulled back.  
"You look so handsome today…" the girl breathed.  
"As opposed to usually?" he teased and grinned with half a heart.  
"Even more than usually."

Then they heard Thor lumbering his way toward them, partly drunk already and breaking things; so with a few more words of good luck and that she'd see him later, she left, and left Loki half-hard and dangerously obvious for an hour afterwards, which was inconvenient seeing as he'd be standing in front of the whole court for a while. But he was too happy at that moment to care, even as Thor beamed and boasted next to him. Loki surprised himself at how well he took to being in the oaf's company, slipping compliments and reassurances, feeding that monstrous ego in spite of the jokes and jabs he received instead.

Only that wasn't really the last time he saw her... Later, she caught his eye during Odin's speech. He saw her look mostly towards her father, smiling now and then at the ravens perched on his throne - she'd always loved the birds, and they felt it and loved her back. But when the speech halted so peculiarly, she frowned and shook her head in question at Loki. He just shrugged his shoulder, and although Ava gave him a suspect glance she nodded in acceptance. Those had been the last few seconds he had of her, and then came the crisis of the Casket and the frost giants and the disaster.  
Loki had felt quite smug that he'd managed to pull the thing off, even blinding the all seeing Odin to the architecture of his scheme.  
Though that could have been because the All Father didn't spare him any thought at all, especially on his son's big day.

He wanted to hit himself, but there wasn't any time. Loki could hardly face a mirror since he'd found out what he was, and facing Avildis was infinitely more frightening, but he had to do it before it was too late. And it wasn't like he had anywhere else to go.

He compulsively checked his face for ridges and his hands for blue and, when he had nothing left to stall with, raised his fist to knock on her door. His trembling knuckles barely tapped on it before he regretted his move: what if she was asleep? What if, horror of horrors, she knew what he was already? What if she had finally realized how terrible their plot had been? That she would wholly regret their entire liaison was just the salty undertaste of an afterthought.

As he was getting ready to run off again, she opened the door. It hadn't taken her more than two or three seconds. Loki readied himself for all those things he feared, but as soon as Avildis set eyes on him, she let out a sigh as if she hadn't breathed all day and jumped in his arms. When he closed their embrace and held her just as tightly and gratefully, he could feel the girl faintly trembling with every breath.  
"Never do that again." she whispered anxiously against his cheek.  
"Do what?" Loki asked in a daze.  
"Risk yourself like that, and for something so little. It wasn't worth it, it really really wasn't. And is it true what they're saying?" Avildis asked, pulling away to look into his eyes. Hers were tired and drained.  
"What are they saying?"  
"That we're at war now."  
"Oh. Yes, that…"  
"And father's asleep again?"  
"Yes." he answered morosely, no longer able to look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry."  
"Oh please, don't."  
Loki was startled by the sudden sharpness in her voice and looked at her again.  
"Don't even think of taking responsibility," Avildis continued, allowing him to breathe again, "out of some misplaced sentimentality or guilt, or fear. This was Thor's fault."

His reply was stuck in his throat, clogged by how unbelievably grateful he was for her innocence to the filth of reality, and by the crippling fear of what would happen if – when – it ended. So he just gaped and nodded and let her believe what she wanted to.  
"You look as rattled as I feel." the girl quipped.  
"You _look_ as rattled as you feel." Loki gave back, which earned him an elbow in the side and a little smile.  
"Come inside." Avildis then said.

It was a surprise - she'd been consistently private about her room since she'd grown up and was moved to that tower.  
"Are you serious?"  
"Very. Please come in." she asked again, resting her hand against his throat while his slipped to her waist. "Please?" Taking him by the hand, Avildis pulled him in with her. Loki was more grateful for her invitation than he had courage to show, and felt overly eager, perhaps, given the circumstances.

Her chamber was big but cramped with furniture and old odd ends, things she must have had for most of her life and not dared or cared to throw away. Only one light shone, a candle placed strategically in front of an ornate mirror that, Loki passingly thought, looked familiar. The light hit the reflective surface and went back into the room so little of it was lost, but it still wasn't bright enough to fill her quarters, and the walls were left almost completely in shadow.  
The only window was tall and very narrow, and beyond it the night was black as a pit. The stars that twinkled over the wild garden and sea beyond were useless little decorations in the darkness, they gave little light. Framing the outside landscape, yellow curtains hung heavy and still.

Loki turned back to look at her, watching her back up deftly and plop down on the bed - very red and very soft looking. Avildis too had changed to her more usual colours from the cold and metallic ceremonial wear. A sanguine gown hung shapelessly around her, gripping her waist somewhat, but casual and loose around her chest. The sleeves were half-way down her shoulders, supported by the firmer grip they had on her arms, and the neck of it looked as if the gown was half-undone at the back – which it probably was. Over it, the girl had left her hair loose like a scarf, some of it covering her shoulders, some of it slipping under and into the front, over her breasts, frantic and undone and looking like warm fluff.

"What happened?" she gently asked, causing Loki to break his stiff composure and look away. He didn't catch her frown and sadness at how quickly he went from looking fierce and royal and so perfect in her room, to looking like a lost little boy struggling for words he hadn't learnt.  
"I'm… I made a mistake."  
"Of all the days that had to happen." she wryly joked, but apologized immediately when she saw it hadn't helped him at all.  
"Your brother is banished because of me –"  
"Yes, to Midgard. That harmless speck of dirt..."  
"— Without anything to help him." Loki argued with restrained fierceness. "He's practically a mortal. He doesn't even have Mjolnir."  
"Maybe father thought one war was enough for now."

He looked at her and almost couldn't believe her. Out of everyone who was begging for Thor to return, he expected his family to be the more desperate about it. He'd almost had to batter off the Warriors Three and Sif, and they only his friends. But the youngest of Odin's litter was applying a logic to the thing that Loki could understand, while taking it to a coldness which even he shied away from.

"Don't tell me it bothers you…" Avildis added.  
"Maybe. A bit."  
"But, why?" she asked, looking thoroughly confused, though he could tell she was faking at least part of the surprise. "He's on Midgard. If father would have wanted him really punished, he'd have sent him back to Jotunheim or some place like that. Don't give me that look, Midgard isn't as bad as you seem to think. I know we didn't mean for father to do quite that, but…"  
"I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear."  
"What had you planned, anyway?" Avildis patted the spot beside her, and after a few breaths Loki went over and sat.  
"I'd been experimenting with the Bifrost's energy, at first only to see if I could – this was years ago – and to do that, I had to learn to blind Heimdall…" he started, looking at her with a bit of meaning to his confession only to see the girl coyly smile and quietly wait for him to go on.

Absently wringing his hands, Loki told her how he'd arranged it, what had happened after they left the throne room, after he saw her last, in the Weapons Vault and later in the dining hall where he told Thor what he needed to hear.  
"He asked me to come with him, which I never expected. I couldn't refuse without making the whole thing look suspicious, so… I was going to go to Odin after he left and tell him where Thor was, but now I couldn't, you see? I told a guard to go instead, before we left, but the oaf took too long. I didn't even want us to reach the Bifrost, let alone Jotunheim. But we ended up reaching as far as their citadel, or what was left of it…"  
"What's it like?" Avildis suddenly asked.  
"What can it be like?" said Loki, shrugging and keeping his face in profile, half-lit by the candle light. "It's a ruin. Cold and without a sun. Even before, the architecture must have been brutal, vast but poorly built."  
"And what do the giants look like? Are they like in the books?"  
"They're… well, yes, you know what they look like." Loki curtly replied.  
"I'm sorry, go on." the girl conceded and gripped his arm in encouragement.  
"Well, we got there," Loki continued as he looked down at his hands, "and their king and his 'court' greeted us, and he and Thor exchanged some words, which went as you might expect, and he almost let us go after I asked him to, but then Thor had to ruin that with his usual tact."  
"Yes, I can imagine how that went."  
"Then there was a battle, and Fandral was wounded. And Volstagg too, a bit…" He stopped to frown at her when he heard her giggle.  
"I heard about that." Avildis grinned. "Who would have thought one of the 'greatest' warriors almost got himself killed, and you came back without a scratch? That should teach them to be so high and mighty."  
"It wasn't so funny then." Loki continued. "If it weren't for Odin…"  
"Yes, I know." She was serious again, and clinging tighter to his arm as if he was going to disappear. "I got sick with worry when I heard where you were. Mother didn't tell us until after father went to get you."  
"Have you seen her since then?" he quietly asked, feigning interest in his lap once more.  
"No, she hasn't had time for anyone, I think. I heard you were with father when the sleep took him again…"  
"Yes, I was. Where did you hear that?"  
"Someone heard it from a guard. What were you doing?"  
"We were talking."  
"About what?"  
"We were arguing." he sighed. "About… Thor, and..."

Avildis could find few apt words of comfort, and Loki's burdens were heavy and obvious, and though she thought she knew what they were, she felt helpless in trying to soothe him. All she could do was coil her arms around his waist and lean her head on his throat in a tight and warm embrace and hope he would feel how very wanted he was.

"Father will wake up again. He always does. This was Thor's fault, anyway."  
"Why do you think everything today was his fault?" asked Loki in consternation, frowning down at her hanging around his neck.  
"Because it was." Avildis answered, trying to stay calm around his sudden anger. "Why? Did father blame you for anything? Was that the argu—"  
"No, he didn't." he admitted now more calmly, but more miserable.  
"Don't worry about him, then. You know how many times he's done this before, better than I do. Though I don't think his timing has been this bad before." the girl quipped. Loki seemed distracted by his thoughts, staring at her floor almost murderously, and she allowed herself to rest against him again.  
"I was so angry at him..." he muttered. "And I still am."  
"You can never stay mad at him. You've always admired him; you used to worship him when we were little."  
"I did. But now I'm not so sure."  
"You still do; you'll see."

He had little faith in her childish optimism, but Loki was not immune to the splinter of confidence she gave him, and in gratitude held her tighter against his side, pulling her higher. To hold on for balance, she wound an arm around his shoulder, and looking into his eyes that shone in the warm light she smiled at him. Like a foggy but faithful mirror, he smiled back.  
"You know, you haven't kissed me yet." Avildis teased, looking down to his lips.  
"Where would you like me to kiss you?" breathed Loki.  
"Wherever you want."

He took his free hand and traced the edges of her face, down her jaw and up to her lips, hovering the pad of his thumb over the softly parted flesh. The touch tickled and she giggled under his finger, warming it with her breath and opening wider now and then to bite or lick or suckle gently. She could feel, as she did this, his arm's grip tightening around her waist.  
"That depends on how far you'll let me take it." Loki said. "Especially tonig—"  
"As far as you want," Avildis quickly answered. "if you want to at all. Especially tonight."  
"Maybe I should have tried to get myself killed sooner." he joked, and the girl laughed with relief to see him in a better mood.  
"Maybe you should have. Then it wouldn't have taken me this long to see how much you mean to me."  
"How much?"  
"Everything."  
"And you don't care that—"  
"No, I don't care "that" anything." she pressed with conviction. "All I want is to see you happy. And if you could be happy with me…" Avildis went teasingly on, leaning up again to bring her mouth closer to his.

In spite of how drunk her proposal made him, a lingering sense of honour held Loki back and all he could do was stare at her lips and shrivel with thirst.  
"I've spent so many months wishing I wasn't your brother." he whispered almost to himself. "I never expected it, but now I wish for nothing else."  
The girl reeled back, gone from seductress to a wounded animal. She could see in the surprise on Loki's face that he hadn't meant for it to sound hurtful, but it did nothing to ease her heart nor her confusion.

To show how he still felt for her, he closed the distance between them. He tasted the mouth he'd been starving after all evening and slowly felt her kiss him back, though far more timidly than she ever had in months. Avildis moved her hands to his chest and easing them up, gripped his shoulders, holding on as if afraid he'd run off when he was done. In reply, Loki held her tighter too, now and then moving his hand over her lower back to soothe her worries.

He lifted his lips from hers only to place them on her cheek next, then her throat then her shoulder. The girl started to breathe more easily, though when her eyes weren't closed in pleasure they burnt holes in the shadow hidden wall, and she wasn't able to shake the feeling of finality from what he'd said.

"What did you mean by that?" she dared to ask. Loki stopped his kisses to bury his face in her hair, mouthing against the skin of her throat what he couldn't tell her. He wouldn't dare to say that he was hardly more than a piece of furniture for her family, an heirloom, a pilfered relic that, her father apparently had hoped, might one day serve as a puppet king for his son. But he revealed to her skin that he was not her brother, that he was a monster, that he was unworthy of her and that he belonged in a frozen waste rather than at her warm side. The quiet confession released some superficial pressure to what conscience he had left.  
"I meant that I'm a liar and a coward." he voiced, pulling away to look at her as he described the substance of his shame, abstract and harmless. "And if you knew all the things I haven't the heart to tell you, you would never want to see me again, and I couldn't blame you for it. As obvious and overstated as this is in romances, you deserve better than me."  
"I deserve to have what I want, and I want you." she insisted, suddenly petulant in a way that was truer to her nature. "Although if you've found someone else or are tired of—"  
"That, never." he cut her off, pressing it with a rush of hungry kissing, as deep and desperate as his adoration until, dizzy and smiling, Avildis finally believed him.

"You genuinely think you're not good enough for me." she stated rather than asked once she caught her breath.  
"To put it mildly." Loki commented dryly. "And, I believe you'll thank me tomorrow if I leave now." With a force of will he got up off the bed and moved away from her, half-expecting the girl to pull him back - which she did, holding onto his hand like a starving child.  
"In how many ways do I need to beg you not to leave me?"  
Avildis tugged on his sapless arm until he relented and turned back around, sitting on the floor with a sigh to look up at her plaintive face. "Don't make me resort to melodrama." she joked, drawing a smile from him.

She took advantage of his distraction to slip off the bed and straddle his lap, hanging her arms around his neck so that he couldn't get up without her.  
"What will you resort to, then?" asked Loki somewhat serious again. To that, Avildis bent forward and kissed him slowly, patiently as she waited for him to come to his senses, or out of them, and come back to her the way she knew him.  
"Do you want me?" the girl whispered slyly, as if they didn't know each other as well as they did.  
She kissed him before he could answer, repeating the question kisses later and interrupting him again, until finally he answered in a breathless "Yes."  
"Then I'm yours."

He only dared look at her a moment longer, making sure he heard her well, before he latched his mouth to hers again and held her tighter and got off the floor and onto the bed, afraid almost that if he didn't hurry she'd change her mind. Loki wanted to ask her the customary questions: was she sure? did she really want that? did she mean it? But he set it aside and instead grappled with her skirts, pooling them over her waist, feeling her soft thighs and, higher, her naked lips already wet and tender from rubbing against each other while she'd kissed him on the bed and in his lap.

Avildis held on to whatever she could while he fought with her dress, a sight that might have been comical if the circumstances didn't leave her terrified. She was determined to give him that firm proof of affection, especially after she'd spent most of that day blaming herself for every imagined catastrophe that could have happened to Loki. And after looking with a calmer air at how he rushed and struggled, as if an army was still on his trail, the girl was overcome with a fierce protectiveness and a sense of pity.

He had just finished settling her skirts high and her knees bent, not caring even to undo the dress all the way or to take off her stockings, when he looked up and with a pleading tone asked her to kill the light.  
"It's just a candle, I can scarcely see you." she argued, lifting a hand from the mattress to touch his flushed cheek.  
"Please, let's just smother it..."  
"But I want to see you." Avildis begged.  
After mulling over his anxiety and impatience, the baser needs won.

Loki barely undid the fastenings of his trousers before he pulled the member out and with a shaking hand pressed the cold girth against her. The girl drew a gasp at the strange sensation: smooth and hard, accompanied by the softer digits that held it. She could feel a faint wetness leaking, different from her own and mixing with it as Loki moved his cock to massage her lips.  
Having absolute freedom over her prone body intimidated him, but only for a moment; he knew what to do, and he pressed into her tender slit unrelentingly but with care. Bracing his arm on the bed beside her, he bowed his head to his chest to look at the slow progress of the head disappearing into her flesh.

Avildis managed to restrain her cries to mewls and moans, covering her face with one hand and biting into the fist of the other. She wasn't nearly wet enough to comfortably take him in, but Loki seemed set to breach her, and she wanted to do nothing to interrupt it. Her hand slipped from her mouth as the tip finally went in, and she gave an alarmed gasp of his name followed by the sharp shriek of hurt, but kept her head on the bed and her legs spread. Loki was heaving now, from both the effort and the sensations she was giving him, tight and hot and alive with awareness at his invasion. He could feel the blood throb in her walls and lips as her skin was pulled tight around him, threatening to tear. He had probably destroyed the physical barriers of her virginity little by little across their lengthy affair, considering she had shed light blood for several months whenever he pleasured her roughly or deeply. But there was nothing for her natural smallness or how unprepared she was that night.

He tried to shove in a little more but her sobs stopped his thrusts, and Loki was content to kiss the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes while his fingers left his length to see to her. He rubbed her clit gently and pushed it against the hardness the he kept at her entrance, rolling the small bundle against its larger counterpart. Avildis seemed to like that. She began canting her hips to his treatment, slipping into a more familiar form of their pleasuring as his lips went down to caress her cheeks and neck and the top of her chest, nudging the cleavage of her dress lower with his chin.

He finally managed to expose a breast and latched onto the tip first with his teeth, then more soothingly with his lips. It was already tender from her arousal, but his treatment peaked it and dragged a few moans from her throat that were almost heartbreaking. Loki could tell she wasn't in pain anymore though. Avildis arched her chest to his mouth and ground her bottom into the mattress, in this way rubbing even more firmly against him. She was already feeling more slippery, which introduced Loki to a new nuance of delight. He had never quite felt her like that, with that part of himself, and the sensation was sobering - he couldn't reach inside her if she kept squirming, so he took a hand to her bottom to still her and bit her breast in a punishing way. The pain made her jump and then hold still, wincing a little at his rough treatment, and then delighting as he licked and soothed the abused nipple.

He was ready to grasp her hips and hold her down and take her when he finally looked up at the girl, and behind the lust and eagerness, he could see bubbling anxiety. Her lips were parted in heaving excitement but Loki could still read her doubts, and overall there seemed to be something smothered in her.  
With new purpose, he angled himself as best as he could on the bed, and under her curious eyes he pulled the girl's long hair gently from under her. Avildis couldn't understand what he was doing until he took her left hand in his right and laced their fingers, while with his other hand he wrapped her locks around their wrists and so bound them.

The girl looked with amazement into his eyes while Loki looked awkwardly into hers. "Imagine this is our wedding night, my darling." he breathed, at once pleading and reassuring. Not caring to find out if he'd miscalculated, he brought his lips to hers and with his free hand guided himself to her sex again. This time he didn't stop and he didn't listen to the pained moans that escaped from between their joined mouths. He only released her lips when the feeling became too intense for him, and he had to gasp at the punishing clench. Avildis tried to quiet herself but he could read the pain in the tears that budded at her eyes and in the tremble of her legs, begging to close to his invasion. Whatever sympathy he felt, he cut off and pushed further, and when he felt he could push no more, Loki angled his hips back, then pushed again deeper, and earned more cries from the girl beneath him, and words of lost begging and gasps of his name in an incoherent tangle.

Every time Loki pulled back, he could feel her skin clinging to his and the throb almost push him out, and every time he pressed back in she sobbed. After enough of this torture, he finally reached the end of her, finding himself sheathed almost fully inside. She had become wetter, to ease his passing perhaps, and now the pulsing of her walls only dragged him deeper. He had to groan at the feeling, deaf to the little winces of discomfort she gave, and with care he moved slightly to test the softness and strength that gripped him.  
A part of Loki also loathed Avildis; the further he went into her, the hotter she was, until he had reached her core that almost burnt. Envy slithered into his heart at how different she was from him, and she had never felt more unattainable than when he touched her that deeply.

He almost wanted to withdraw from the girl and hide from her, when he felt the walls tighten in an almost deliberate way. Though likely not of her own will, it was a delicious sensation and Loki had to gasp at the shock of pure lust her cunt had given him.  
"Oh, you vixen..." he teased with sudden playfulness, happy to feel her enjoyment even if it didn't register on her face yet. Avildis kept her eyes shut, her lips now bitten, now gasping or pleading, her chest heaving and treating her nipples to the rubbing fabric of the dress. She was enjoying it nevertheless, he could tell, and Loki started thrusting in earnest, gently then deeper, or harder, or pulling out almost completely before slamming his hips to hers and shocking a hoarse moan out of her.

A strange memory reached him of one of his earlier fantasies, in which she was his prize of war and he was an invading Asgardian prince. Reality seemed to mock him now, as he was the stranger and she the Asgardian, and it was her people who were the invaders and had captured him.  
Soon Loki felt compelled to apply a punishing pace to his thrusts, and with it her screams got louder and his name rang clearer in his ears. With both arms braced beside her, he could lean down and moan against her neck, now and then whispering her name and punctuating it with meaner thrusts, as if to get her attention, or biting and nibbling at her throat to mark her or just to make her beg.

Avildis felt him in every part of her: his thrusts shook her whole body, they made her choke, they stilled the breath in her lungs, and no matter how hard she could try to close her legs she could not get him out. He held her arms out and her thighs spread and all she could do was turn her face away, and try to ask him to be gentler. The heat between her legs had too much of a raw, bloody quality and she was afraid he was hurting her almost too much, pushing too far. Although the girl thought she couldn't take any more, she had nowhere to go, and the member inside her moved motivated by its own greed for pleasure, forceful and invasive and foreign. Her body was just surviving the ravishment, crying out through her and throbbing, in a way that wanted to be soothing or pleasurable or pacifying, against the tough organ that penetrated it.

Through his lust, Loki slowly became aware of her aches - stretched and spread and pinned down, the pinch in her brow and the frown on her lips, the sobbing quality of the moans that should have been of pleasure by then. It made him feel something unwanted, and despite himself Loki started to thrust more gently. This gave Avildis the respite to consider his earlier suggestion - "their wedding night", as if it was all natural and good and everyone would be happy for them. She let the fantasy settle in her mind, inbetween his kinder thrusts, and soon she felt the tension drip from her legs and her face take on a look of lesser pain.

She winced again when he couldn't keep from pumping faster and harder once more, but now the undertone of anxiety was gone, and her gasps were more of pleasure than of shock. Loki tightened his bound hand on hers, and felt her hold him back. The improvised bond couldn't let him raise himself too high above her, but lifting his head a little Loki could allow her to turn and look at him once more, gratitude and wonder on her face as the pain began to go away. Behind her eyes, the fantasy was coming to life, and she made the effort to picture them returned from a ceremony and somehow finally, honorably bound.

With a grin, Loki took a hand to her thigh and spread her wider, pushing deeper and relishing the sound she made at that. He started teasing her with experimental thrusts, ignoring the pleas she gave him as if he didn't understand. But it was hard for him to fake innocence then, and Avildis knew he understood what she wanted, which made her plead even more desperately and her voice and excited clenching started making him groan. She wanted more and she wanted him to reach down and rub her clit and lean lower and suckle on the breasts she raised towards him.

The pleasure coiled in his spine. Heat licked up his thighs and pooled in his abdomen, and Loki started thrusting more wildly, gazing down at the girl through half-lidded eyes of a very dark green.  
"Do you want to cum?" he asked his darling, his voice heavy with lust, and he punctuated it with a steeper angle that had the girl keening.  
Her reply confused him. After catching her breath, Avildis managed to answer "No". She didn't want it particularly; she just wanted it to go on forever. "I just want you." the girl added, raising her free hand to touch his cheek and then cling to his shirt. And at that moment, she did have him, and she was happy and wanted nothing else.

Her sweetness almost made him feel bad, because it excited him even more and he knew he would undoubtedly, unfairly release inside her now, and he couldn't stop because she felt better than life itself. Just a couple of thrusts afterwards, Loki had to lean forward with a groan, his eyes squeezing shut, and his cock pulsed and twitched inside her. He felt his muscles slack and release a wave of pleasure that flowed through him and into her. Distantly, he heard Avildis gasp at the feeling of his cold release spurting in generous amounts, coating her and sloshing out as he kept thrusting in broken jerks until he could move no more.

After catching his breath and valiantly holding himself on his arms, Loki had to let himself fall over and rolled on the bed next to her, releasing the girl's hand and undoing the bond. In the back of his mind, he hoped he hadn't pulled on her hair too much.  
Avildis hadn't finished, and she still didn't care to, although her flesh throbbed in a painful and at once pleasant way. As Loki slipped out of her tender sex, she felt his cum trickle out of her, and it caused a delicious shiver.  
Turning her head, she admired her darling's profile, eyes closed and lips parted, completely spent. She had to smile, and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

Loki turned his head and after a few moments of looking at her, as if to remember whether it was real, he leaned towards her and kissed her back on the mouth. He felt her smile beneath his lips.

"I'm so tired. Will you sleep here with me?" she asked once he released her. Still panting from exertion, Loki could only nod. "Be good and undo me." the girl then said, turning on her front and presenting him with the lacing of her dress.

He untied the already loose fastenings, slowly and with trembling fingers, and then pulled the stockings off her legs. Avildis carelessly slithered out and higher on the bed, letting the dress hang on the edge while she pulled herself up on the pillows, still on her front, and he went up too beside her. Her eyes were closed and she had a blissful smile on her face. After a few more moments of looking at the girl, Loki undressed himself as well and went to sleep beside her, pulling the sheets over them and draping his arm around her waist.

* * *

It wasn't even morning when he woke up. The candle had burnt out and there was just a sliver of pink on the horizon, but the room was still quite dark. Loki jumped when he looked at his hands and saw dark ridges, but after a moment he realised they were just from where his skin had been pressed into the sheets.  
Avildis was in the washroom, the door open. She'd poured herself a cup of water. Loki spent the moment admiring the way her tangled hair, dark in the shadows, contrasted against her pale back. When she looked around she smiled at him, and he had to marvel at how pretty she was then, soft and radiant and rested, and her lips were always very plump after she just woke up.

"Are you thirsty?" she whispered - a silly instinct, as there was no one around for them to wake up. Loki nodded and she brought him a cup too. He had to smirk at seeing her walk towards him - trying to walk. Beneath the sheets, his cock twitched at the memory of doing that to her.  
"Did you even get to eat anything yesterday?" asked Avildis, now sat on the bed.  
"Not much." he said. "Did you?"  
"Oh, well, I had something..." the girl started, now looking around the room. "I have some fruit around here, if you like."  
Loki just smiled, a sly twinkle in his eyes, and tugged her back into bed. The girl settled beneath him and she wrapped her legs around his, smiling too.  
"I owe you something." the green-eyed god began.  
"Oh?"  
"Mhm. Would you like me to give it to you?"

She was still playing coy, but the lustful lick of her lips told Loki she knew exactly what he suggested. He didn't wait for her approval before he grabbed her hips and urged her to turn around. Avildis gasped but didn't protest and allowed him to handle her and pull her up on hands and knees.

He had her spread her legs and curl her spine, pressing on the back of her throat so that her bottom was flush in the air. Loki then eased his fingers over her slit, luxuriating in her wetness while his other hand went lightly over her chest and breasts. She was indeed warm and tender and soft from her sleep, and it only made him want to devour her more. Her eyes were shut in ecstasy while her hands rested beside her head, her thumb now and then brushing against her parted lips, pressing against her teeth.

Loki was already hard and straining. He pressed his member to her soaking lips and pushed inside, and the girl wailed sweetly as he breached her. He had the goodness to do it gently this time. He felt her spread to the point of tearing, and her cunt shivered around him. As he started rubbing her insides with his cock, she got wetter and wetter, clinging to him and slicking his long member. Loki pumped a little while she got used to him, exploring the new depth this penetration allowed and enjoying the wet sounds of his skin slapping against hers, before he started going faster. Her hips canted upward, trying to entice him to give her more, and he gladly did, thrusting harder the further he got in until he was buried to the hilt in her throbbing heat.

He held onto her hips and kept her still while he used her tight cunt to pleasure himself, his deep moans mixing with the girl's higher pitched ones. At one point, she wanted to raise herself up but he pushed her down again, not even knowing why he wanted her exactly like that. After his hand left her throat it dragged along her back, taking in the light shivers that ran through it to the rhythm of his thrusts.  
When the hand reached her bottom he let it linger there, and then Loki slowed his hips just long enough to let her feel his thumb brushing against her tighter hole. Avildis jumped at the sensation and begged, and though he had no idea whether she was begging for it or for him to not do it, he pressed his thumb into her anyway, to the sound of her mewls and the feeling of a particularly delicious clench. She couldn't see the smirk that grew on his lips, but he made sure she heard the groans and teasing he leveled against her obvious enjoyment.  
"Do you like this?" he asked, easing his finger further inside, flexing it to push the skin over and around it until it covered the first knuckle. Avildis could only give a wordless moan, too out of breath to speak as he worked her with both his cock and his hand. "And this?" Loki continued, this time thrusting sharply into the girl. She gave a pained yelp as her hips went up and her bottom brushed against his skin, wincing at the pain it caused her womb and then at the pleasure that followed.

Loki started thrusting gentler, to allow his thumb to enter her more deeply until it was completely buried inside her. He knew she liked it when he stretched her there, and although he had only tried other fingers before, he knew she could easily take three at a time when she was excited. Using his thumb, however, and from that angle allowed for him to better feel the tighter muscles she had and to press against them in a way that made her bite her finger to keep from crying out.

"Answer me." he demanded roughly after a few more thrusts. Avildis merely opened her eyes and looked at him over her shoulder, panting as she admired him: his smooth chest covered in a light sheen of sweat, the dark hair mussed from sleep, his eyes of an almost poisonous green that regarded her coolly, his thin lips parted in pleasure and the very elegant setting of his brows, the sharp cheekbones, his tense neck. Even if she weren't half-mad with pleasure, she would have thought him the most handsome thing she'd ever seen.

"I said answer me!" Loki repeated as he slapped her behind with his unoccupied hand, a little too roughly but pleased with the results. Avildis jumped forward at the shock and gave a little scream, not at all used to him treating her that way. The movement had made her tighten around his finger even more, which only added to her pain, but as the stinging from his palm subsided she felt slightly more sensitive wherever he touched her, which only made her feel more pleasure.  
With a strangled voice, she answered "Yes".  
"Yes, what?"  
"Yes, I like it." she winced, burying her face in the pillows but spreading her legs marginally wider. "You're so big..." she added in a whisper, now that she had found her voice again.  
"I want you to cum this time," said Loki as he started thrusting faster and slightly more unhinged.  
"Please," she started, her forehead still pressing against the pillow, "please touch me."

He knew what she needed and why she needed it, but a mad masculine pride stopped him from giving in and fingering her clit.  
"No. No, you'll come from my cock alone." he said inbetween jerking thrusts. "I want your little cunt to show my cock how much it likes it."  
The girl gave a keening sound but didn't dare protest, suddenly afraid of making him mad again. Loki himself wasn't sure how much of his act was really an act, and how much he genuinely wanted to torment Avildis. But in spite of his treatment, or because of it, both of them knew how much she enjoyed it. With every pull out of her, Loki's cock was covered in her glistening juices, and after he massaged the inside of her with his thumb, still at her behind, he could feel her gushing around his cock, dripping down her clit and onto the bed.

It took longer than it would normally had to get her to cum, and it was hard enough for Loki to keep from releasing, but then she finally did tighten around him. The girl gave a long wail and almost retreated from his thrusts, but he kept her to him and prolonged her orgasm. Her legs shivered and her hands gripped the bed, sobbing and panting his name while Loki gripped her hips harder and lost himself in the feeling. She was so tight for those few moments that it genuinely hurt him, and he had to savour her name half in admiration, half in pleading while he came too, riding the pleasure with her.

As soon as he was done, the god pulled his finger out of her now relaxed hole, slipped his cock out, then turned the panting creature around before his release dripped from her. Avildis was too dazed to know what he was doing and just let him arrange her however he wanted. But then he slipped down and put his lips to her aching mound, keeping her legs wide apart while he licked his juices from her. She begged and pleaded incoherently, between shouts of his name whenever he nipped her so ignored clit, but all Loki wanted was to make her cum a second time, and he drank from her lips deeply and thoroughly, now thrusting his tongue between her slit, now sucking on her flesh. His recognised the taste of himself and the thick texture of it, but around it was the warm and infinitely sweeter taste of his darling, and he lapped at her uncaring of her protests, until he felt her shiver again, weaker this time, as she had her second orgasm. When her thighs stopped trembling, he let her go and looked up, panting. Avildis had her eyes closed. Her chest was heaving and her nipples, although untouched that session, were thoroughly erect.

Loki gave a self-satisfied smirk at the state he brought her in. A long finger wiped some of the wetness from his chin before he climbed up on the bed and held Avildis against his chest. She was still panting as if she'd run that whole time, but to his relief she wasn't angry with him. The girl scooted closer and placed a hot little hand over the arm that held her, and Loki could nuzzle her hair and drink in what he thought was the sweetest scent in the world. Her whole bed smelled like her, but especially the pillows, and it was a delicious fragrance, reminding of some perfume she wore but mixed with her girlish smell.  
Before he fell to sleep, Loki spent the time pressing quick kisses to the back of her neck, her shoulder, her arm, and trying to think of ways to ask her to run away with him in the morning.

* * *

When he woke up again, it was nearly afternoon. Avildis slept unturned next to him, breathing gently and curled, like she usually would be, with her knees bent and her head in her chest and an arm draped over her head protectively.  
Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Loki could finally look around her room. He was first set on finding where she'd put the glass of water, but his eyes got distracted by the parts of her chamber that the night's shadows had hidden. Her walls were a pale yellow, and decorating them were a few paintings, portraits of royal old men and women. Loki recognised them to be Borr and Buri, her grandfather and greatgrandfather, and grandmother Bestla. In a corner, on a plinth, was a marble bust of her great uncle Mimir, and next to it on the wall was a portrait of some queen he couldn't place.

Along another wall were shelves with books. Reading the titles from the top down, Loki saw the History and Legends of Asgard, all six volumes, books on great battles, books on famous warriors, songs and hymns, a Genealogy of the House of Odin, a Compendium of Yggrasil, a lost volume of Asgardian Geology. As the shelves got lower, the topics became lighter: poetry, romantic tales, music of Alfheim, Midgardian folklore, children's stories...

The last title gave Loki strange pause. He vaguely remembered going through the same book when he was a child - a different copy from hers - and then he remembered the horror stories in it, about the trolls and dark elves and frost giants. And at once he felt so ashamed he was almost ill - a thing unprecedented - afraid and certain he would lose Avildis forever. He had never guessed she was so proud of her family, although thinking back now he supposed he should have seen it. Her act of giving herself to him took on even more meaning now, in the frame of her betraying what her room told was the most important thing to her. With an Odinson it would have been bad enough...  
It was too late now. Loki didn't know what to do, but he knew he couldn't face her. He slipped out of her bed and dressed with a spell and left her room quietly and quickly.


	12. Privileged point of view

**Updating seems to just take longer and longer for me, doesn't it? Eeeep. I'm sorry. Life. I won't abandon this story though, unless I die or something, so no matter how long it takes me to update never worry about that (just hope I won't die).**

**This chapter, sadly, has no smut at all. And it's shamefully short, too. I have hope that I'll start on the next chapter soon-ish, and I plan for the smut to take off at that point. This was quite a difficult chapter to write too, because I had no idea how to go about the character interaction (you'll realise what it is when you see it). I ended up going with cutting between scenes and leaving the rest to the reader (lame of me, I know).**

**This chapter also follows the deleted scenes. In this case, it is an extension of the scene where Loki meets Frigga in Odin's room. That scene was meant to come before the scene where the Warriors Three find Loki on the throne, because that's where Frigga made Loki king, so that's the order I'll keep to. You should be able to find that scene somewhere on YouTube.**

**And thank you again for the comments and favs and follows, people!**

**Guesties, thanks so much :D I'm glad you enjoyed it. hehe**

**Molescout, bless you for those comments. As always, you pick up on exactly the right things. I do intend to make the smut part character study, part guilty pleasure, and I hope to keep it that way as much as possible because it IS a great opportunity for a character study (speaking of which, update _Companion_ soooon! *begs*)**

**Vykrothe, that was an incredibly flattering read. I was flabbergasted when I read your comment, and I still am - not just that the story has that effect but that it's getting re-read too. If it's silly of me to gush over that, I dun caer. ****Thank you!**

**AliceOfCards, hehe that's quite true about Loki. And actually, it kind of sets the tone for this chapter and the chapters to follow.**

**Without any more rambling from me, enjoy!**

* * *

Loki had scarcely finished pushing his food around in its plate when the guard interrupted his meal, taken alone in his chamber, to tell him that the queen wished to see him.

Swallowing a sudden knot in his throat, Loki got up and followed the Asgardian down the empty halls that led to Odin's sleep chambers. Seeing as he wasn't arrested just yet however, he decided her majesty could wait a while, and stopped in one of the rooms in the long line of antechambers that led to the royal bedroom.

"Go and fetch my sister first." he told the guard with as much confidence as a god of lies could conjure. "The youngest one: Avildis. Quickly, now."

The guard bowed, and as soon as he left Loki cleared the room of the remaining guards, ushering them to other posts.

When Avildis arrived, she found him bracing his hands against a dark round table that was wrapped around an ornate gold column. He looked worn out and frightened. Ava herself looked weary, a little angry, and hastily put together.

She eyed the god of mischief with curiosity, raising her palms as if to ask "what is this?"

Seeing her then, Loki already regretted having fled from her room as he had, without so much as a word or a note, or a sign of how in love with her he still was. He could tell that beneath the girl's stony anger was a throbbing hurt.

"I'm sorry…" he started, slowly advancing on her once the guard that brought her left them alone. "For this morning." Loki clarified.

Avildis gave him a simple shrug that served only to further reveal the depth of her aches.

"What do you want?" she asked with a small voice instead, looking to the side.

"Mother asked for me, and I wanted to see you first." His worried tone and the way he was slowly kneading his hands alarmed the girl and she stared at him in shock for a moment. "No, no no no, it's not that." he quickly reassured, taking advantage of her fright to go near her. "At least I don't think so, but there's no reason for her to know about—"

"Then what?"

"Come here for a moment. Sit." he bade her, pulling the girl further into the room. Without waiting for her permission, Loki took her by the waist and lifted her to sit on the table, her legs resting on a chair while he stood in front of her, almost eye level and gently blocking any escape she'd try. Also without permission, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, his arms braced on the table beside her.

Avildis was frightened at first, her eyes darting around, suddenly expecting to see guards around the doors or in the corners, but there were none. And with light pecks on her mouth Loki soon distracted her and even got her to smile. He moved away when he felt her lips pulling at the corners, and luxuriated in the happy sight.

"I wasn't thinking." he started, smitten with her all over again but devising a lie on the spot. "I didn't want someone to come looking for me or for a maid to find us. But I should have left you something. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking…" Loki apologized, kissing her gently again and again until he felt her forgiving him, if a bit reluctantly.

"Will you tell me why I'm here, then? I hardly had time to get dressed." Avildis complained, and immediately she felt Loki's hands sneak around her waist, pressing against the – regretfully solid – barrier of the corset, then further to the laces that held the deep purple dress together.

"You look lovely." he spoke quietly, tightening the strings and tying them together. Close as he was to her, Loki could see how well the garment now fit her, pressing against her flesh and making it bloom within the dress, and with one arm coiled protectively around the girl he let his other hand drift to her chest and draw lazy circles over the tops of her breasts.

"Do you know why mother called you?" Avildis pressed on, fighting the shivers from the prince's gentle touch.

"I haven't seen her yet, but I have my suspicions." Loki sighed. Seeing him frown disturbed Avildis anew and she moved a pallid palm to his chest, letting her fingers slide down the edges of his elaborate armor. "It's why I wanted to see you." he continued, avoiding her eyes in favour of a tight, plush breast. "If it is what I fear, I might not get to see you again."

"Oh, Loki… I told you yesterday, they won't send you away for what Thor did. And if it really comes to it, I'll share the blame –"

"You don't understand." the young god started, feeling a hopeless rage building in his heart. "How could I hope to get you to understand? Even I scarcely do."

Avildis looked on his struggles with a crushing feeling. She had rarely been in a situation in which she had to comfort someone, and as a child she had rarely been comforted herself. The mechanics of it were foreign to her.

So as Loki did battle with the uncomfortable truth, all the girl could do was lay a small hand over his arm and brush her thumb back and forth.

His eyes were almost bright with tears and deliberately avoiding her face, looking instead off to the left. Avildis marveled at the gentle way they sparkled, at once light but growing darker, and at his lips, red from being bitten and holding back the truth so strongly, until then. She didn't notice the tips of his fingers slowly turning blue.

* * *

The guard was wary about disturbing the two young royals, but he was more afraid of keeping the queen waiting. Her majesty lost all sweet nature and temperance when the All-Father entered his Odinsleep, and that year there had been considerable strain on her – on the whole realm. With Thor gone and the Jotuns making an attempt at stealing the Casket, everyone was on edge.

He was sympathetic of the princelings too, distraught no doubt to have lost their brother and to be abandoned by their father. But they could always talk later, after the queen shared whatever she had to with prince Loki.

As he got closer to her majesty's antechambers, he could hear a muffled quarrel, a scream – high pitched, feminine, petulant – and then the door faintly rattled. He frowned but thought not much of it. When he opened the door, a fleeting figure in purple ran past him and down the hall.

Princess Avildis' dress swayed like a wave behind her, clinched at her slight waist and billowing at the skirts. And like a wisp, she darted around a corner and vanished from sight.

Prince Loki was looking shaken, muted, his eyes tired and disbelieving. He was worn almost to tears, but the knot in his throat kept them down.

He couldn't hear the guard reminding him about the queen. All he could hear was Ava's shrill voice from moments ago, so close to him in her struggle to get past him but so distant and indifferent to his pleas.

"Just hear me, I'm not really… I didn't know…"

"Unlock the door!"

"I swear I didn't know until Odin told me!"

"How could you not know what you are?! You've held up this illusion for how long?"

"This is all Odin's magic, not mine!"

"Yes, blame my father. It isn't enough that you almost _murdered_ him!?"

"It was your thieving, murdering father who brought me here! I am sorry if you do not like to hear it. I never asked to come here, you know, he brought me. He brought me because your dumb brother wasn't good enough."

"Unlock the door _right now_."

"Why? So you can run away?"

"I don't want to hear another one of your lies, so do spare me."

"You told me you loved me, remember. So who's the liar?"

"I loved my brother, and now my brother is dead. And you killed him – you killed both of them! You're a monster and I do not know you."

Loki was ready to beg, on his knees even, when someone opened the door from the outside, and she bolted.

* * *

When Loki went in to finally see the queen, he was far less frightened than he had been not fifteen minutes before. Frigga put it down to an expected bout of depression, not unlike the devastating fear and helplessness that she was feeling. She had lost a son and practically lost a husband. Loki had lost a brother and his father, and her poor dear only had mounting responsibilities to keep him company.

He also had the misfortune of learning something about himself that no child of hers should have had to endure, and if she would have had it in her powers she would have taken his miseries for her own.

Loki had always been the more subdued of her two boys, and now sitting before her, across the All-Father, Loki looked particularly morose. But this also made him more thoughtful, more aged, which were good attributes for a king, Frigga considered.

He was getting ready to leave and was thinking, with a dead enthusiasm, that he wasn't getting imprisoned after all. The surprise on his face when the doors opened and the guards stepped in could not have been invented, and for a moment Loki felt a fresh fear run through him.

But then he found himself holding Gungnir and Frigga was looking at him proudly and telling him that Asgard was his. The line of succession naturally arrived at him, and they were holding to it, at least until Odin woke up. It still took him a few moments to believe it, to hold the spear and feel it firm in his hands, not a trick and not a dream.

And with a wave of his old confidence returned to him, Loki understood the true meaning of that which was in essence a second chance: he could prove himself a worthy son to Odin, to Frigga – the only mother he ever knew and ever wished to know – and indeed to the whole realm. And he could win back the core of his desires, his little Ava, who had loved him all her life and would again.

If the realm needed a worthy king, he would give them all of that and more, and none would be content with Thor ever again; not even his own father.

If Thor would ever make it back. His mother had suggested that that was Odin's plan all along. Something Ava had told him before came back to him: Thor got Odin's strength, and Loki got his shrewdness. It felt natural for the All-Father's teachings to at least penetrate one of their minds. Although he still hated Odin, there was a part that understood how the old god worked. Putting himself in his place, Loki realized there was no way Odin would permanently renounce his golden boy, and suddenly the casting of Mjolnir on Midgard made more sense – it wasn't a tease or a taunt, it was a way for Thor to earn his way back. Just like Gungnir was a way for Loki to prove himself.

As soon as he could, he ran to her room. When he arrived there, it was deathly silent from the outside, but he had heard that silence before. Once more he was frustrated and battle weary and dubiously victorious, and she was an angry child. Once more he pleaded with her through the door, feeling her presence through the quiet. He knew it was pointless, and he should just go in, but Loki could not bring himself to push the door open – or break it – and force her to forgive him. He wasn't sure why. Maybe he wanted it to be of her own will, or maybe he was afraid that what he would find on the other side of the door was an unrelenting hatred.

After calling out her name and begging and asking for the smallest of conversations a few more times, Loki left for the throne room and his new duties.


End file.
